A Note To My Young Daughter

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It’s a difficult world out there. You were my little girl and now you are ready to take on the world. You will have your own new experiences. You will make mistakes. You will stumble, fall and learn to get up. You will make new friends; some of whom I may not even approve of. You will fall in love and might have a heart break or two. You will learn and discover many things on your own, but there are a few things that I always want you to remember –

You are beautiful

There is no such thing as a perfect body. The society, the billboards, the tv commercials and the movies may suggest that there is, but in reality, people come in every shape and size. It is okay that you want to look your best. But always remember that a good heart is what makes you more beautiful and a smile is the best makeup you can wear.

Understand your hormones

Getting a period is an important part of womanhood, it means you can be a mother if and when you decide to be one. You may see your friends being unperturbed during that time of the month, while you may wriggle in pain, or may be irritable.It is fine to feel how you are and its okay to talk about it. Each woman has a different menstrual experience. Try to understand your cycle and how your body responds to it. Don’t let your hormones takes over your life, just be prepared for it.

Stand up for yourself

You will meet people who will try to judge or change the way you think, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself, the way you act. It is okay to listen to them, if you wish to. But do not be afraid to voice your opinions and your beliefs, even if you think you might offend someone. Be respectful to them, but do not think twice about standing up for yourself. You do not have to accept the things that you are not okay with. If you are not happy with the way someone is treating you, the way someone is talking to you, the way someone is touching or looking at you, let it be known – loud and clear.

Do what you do – because you want to, not because the society expects you to

More often than not we let the society mould our thoughts and actions – what clothes to wear when, what profession to choose, when to marry and when to have babies. We do not need to live by these rules. Do what you love. Follow your heart and that ways you will never be disappointed. And yes, you can choose to be single all your life. You can decide to focus on your career, or be a doting mother to your babies or do both. The choice is yours. But of course, be sensitive to people whom you are sharing your journey with.

Be Financially Independent

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it still is important. The confidence you gain from being financially independent cannot be gained in any other way. You can never predict the hardships or unforeseen incidents that may happen in the future. But the confidence that you can handle things on your own, if need be, can be very reassuring. You don’t need a man, or for that matter anyone to take care of you. You can take care of yourself.

Everyone is equal

You are equal to the men around you. Don’t let the society make you believe otherwise. You deserve the same opportunities, the same chances, the same freedom, the same choices that men get. And if there is anything they can achieve, you can too. It is your capability that determines the heights you reach and not your gender. Treat men also with the same respect that you expect them to treat you.

I want you to remember all this, but most of all want you to remember that I will always have your back and will always be around when you need me. You were my little girl, and you always will be.

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We have always heard that our parents are our first teachers, guide, and friend. They don’t just teach us to take our first step but also, how to deal with various situations in life. Most valuable lessons of our lives come from them. It is essential to be a good parent because your child is your reflection. Children can grasp better than adults, and therefore, it’s necessary to give them the right direction and education.

There are many types of parenthood from authoritative, authoritarian, permissive to uninvolved. You are the best judge on what kind of a parent you want to be.

Although there is no fixed formula to be a good parent, there are a few things that are a must to be an ideal parent and good role model for your child.

Patience is the key

Being a parent is a 24*7 job. With every tantrum and mischief, you get closer to losing your patience. Try and stay calm even during the frustrating times, no matter how overwhelming it gets. You need to find a solution instead of reacting in a certain way that you might regret later. Good parents never lose their patience; they remain cool and calm which helps their children feel safe and secure. Learning how to handle stress and responsibility can help in the long run. Children are innocent and faint-hearted, they need to be treated with love and nurtured with patience.

Show empathy

It is essential to have a healthy relationship with your child, and it starts when you show love and compassion towards them. They learn empathy like every other skill from their parents. When you express your love, they feel important and secure and also, open up to you. It makes them expressive and helps them to share their emotions with you. As they start building trust towards you, they share their perspective. This also helps them to grow empathetic towards others, as well as, it makes them strong enough to cope with stress and failure in future.

Respect and mutual trust

If you want your child to respect you, you need to respect them too. They feel important when they are included in important decisions. It also helps them to differentiate between wrong and right. When they make mistakes, it is essential to make them understand why it is wrong; it helps them build their thinking and not repeat the same mistakes in future. Constant advice can hurt their confidence and lead to fighting. When you do not trust them, you are pushing them to become rebellious.

A boundary is necessary

While being a good friend, you also need to maintain specific rules in your house. Teach them about personal space and keep some limits. This helps them to build discipline and encourage them to maintain a routine. Teach them about the healthy distance one needs to keep with others. Also, do not contradict yourself and break the rules. If you yourself won’t follow them, it will confuse your child and eventually will lose interest in respecting your rules and decisions.

Communication

Clear and understanding communication builds a healthy relationship-same goes with you and your child. Good parents never give advice and judge their children without listening to their perspective or their side of the story. Always listen to your child, this will help them to learn the same and they in return will listen to you better. When you maintain a frank and healthy communication, it makes you approachable. They might not feel comfortable talking about certain things, but communication is a skill that every parent needs to learn.