Digital schooling a cause of tribulation for children and a load for mothers

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“Digital schooling in the Internet age means teaching tomorrow skills today.”

Digital schooling: where about!

Integrating technology in digital education is a complex issue taking many forms that differ in purpose. It can range from replicating existing educational practices as tools for transforming education to bring about new learning. Child’s education is an important factor- a go-to situation emerged for schools to resume online classes due to World-wide pandemic. But it might have raised many concerns among educational experts as well as parents.

It is lauding how technology has made things smoother but has a negative impact on mothers who work hard in various fields as well as have to sit through an online schooling to assist their children. It is adding to the tiring list, which affects their mental health.

What is Digital schooling?

Digital education is the innovative use of digital tools and technologies during teaching and learning. It is usually referred to as e-learning or digital schooling.

Process:

Digital learning has served and shaped a world in which we are bound into the web of test scores & achievement targets. On a global scale, it is also about a mother who performs many hours of unpaid care. As children are now home and online classes have commenced, child-care round the clock has piled on further to the responsibilities of a working mother. They are shouldering a heftier chunk already. Working women are expected to grease her elbows in all avenues, and by simple virtue of gender in a society, it becomes a job of a mother to look out for her child as well as house chores, but the men get a hard pass. In a society where gender roles have been dictated by patriarchy, men are often seen to gaze well into choreographed chaos that functions like clockwork, from the periphery.

Reasons for Oppressiveness against Digital schooling:

Classes are usually coordinated through parents WhatsApp groups.
Children in pre-school need a source of assistance or help from their mothers.
It is easy for children to get distracted.
It is easy for preschoolers to click something that might district the whole class or might land themselves into some other avenues of the net.
Inevitable delays and connectivity issues.
Lack of equipment, adjustments through parent’s phone or laptops.

Effect on Mothers:

The negative impact of the lockdown is entirely driven by negative effects on women. When it comes to children, there is a spectrum that largely comes on the mother. Most of the age groups cannot be left unsupervised during digital learning. The technicalities of learning tools and ensuring the availability of functional devices came as a daily challenge. Digital schooling had serious repercussions on mothers. The implications of online schooling on mothers like apart from usual work or office work, solely to see if a child is taking classes seriously or to ensure cybersecurity and class participation. And in addition to that, digital schooling brings anxiety and frustration, which needs attention and thought.

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When my dad had suffered a stroke, we have seen the pillar of our lives crumble in different ways – physically, mentally, cognitively, and emotionally. It changed our lives and the way we lived completely. Doctor and physiotherapist visits, 24×7 nursing care, and dealing with the fact that the ground beneath our feet is constantly shifting. Every day I would just ask myself what could we have done differently to have avoided this misfortune. The most difficult thing to cope with has been the deep despair and heartbreak of knowing what Dad must be going through every day because of his debilitating condition.

To see our hero lying in bed being fed, dependent for his everyday needs, not being able to hear his voice has been the most difficult and traumatic time in our lives. However, as much as his relatives and friends miss him, it’s the immediate family who undoubtedly felt his absence even in his presence. Oh what wouldn’t we give to hear him call our names? What wouldn’t my mother give for his comforting presence in her bed next to her, for another argument with him, for his companionship?

But the most distressing thing has been dealing with people around us. While many were supportive and wished us well and were constantly praying for him, many close ones spoke ill behind our back, constantly judged us for the decisions we made, second guessed our intentions. This took a huge toll on my mother, who was the primary caregiver, and us, mentally and psychologically for it left us feeling less and loathed with self guilt.

To those I wish to say that may you never have to go through what we have. May you never have to see your loved one suffer and deal with someone doubting your care for them lecturing us on the diets to give, treatments, etc. It is very painful. No one takes care of the caregivers. No one takes a moment to ask them how they have been doing, have they gotten enough sleep, how are they managing the funds, their work, their health and their family.

To the people visiting the sick, I ask you to be kind to the caregivers. To trust that since they are the most affected by what happened to their loved one, they are definitely doing our best. That they have invested their time, effort and money in getting the best treatment and care and if there was more they could do then they would probably do it regardless of what anyone has to suggest or say. They know best and it’s their call to make.

Caregiving is never one-size-fits-all

Unless you have lived with them for a week, both day and night, do not speak for them or speak of them. It’s too much at times to be patient in the face of adversity so don’t add to their distress and self guilt. And if you hear someone criticizing them, judging them, shut them up and tell them, “Am sure they are doing their best”.

Who takes care of the caregivers?

Caregiver burnout or caregiver stress is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion. It may be accompanied by a change in attitude, from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don’t get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able, physically or financially.

Today, I want to tell myself and so many caregivers out there who are struggling to cope, don’t get drowned in dealing with your ill ones. You don’t owe answers or explanations to your relatives or friends and if they cared that much, then they might as well take over. Don’t try to micromanage things. It’s not possible. Mistakes will happen and it’s okay.

Self-care for caregivers

You are human too. Self care is important. You may feel like giving up many times in the day but don’t. The critics will criticize. That is all they know for they haven’t lived in our shoes. They only know what they see in that moment and derive their conclusions from that.

Take time to love your loved one but also love yourself. Crack a joke or two whenever you can. Read a book, magazine or newspaper for some time every day. Go for therapy if you need or talk to a loved one. Have a hobby to distract you. Go for a walk. Or even cry if you feel like. Make yourself a priority too. And turn a deaf ear to what people say.

And remember, for everything the illness takes away from your loved one, what it can never ever take away is their love, their laughter and their memories.