All You Wanted To Know About Surrogacy

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Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas recently announced on their Instagram that they had welcomed their first baby via surrogacy and this sparked a lot of hullabaloo on social media about exploitation and reproductive rights. This article will help you understand all you wanted to know about surrogacy.

What is the surrogacy process?

The embryo is created by combining the egg of the intended mother or egg donor with sperm from the intended father or sperm donor. This can be done through in vitro fertilization (IVF) or artificial insemination.

If the intended parents use their own egg and sperm, this is known as autologous surrogacy. With this method, no embryo transfer procedure is used. If they don’t supply their own eggs and sperm, they use the services of an egg donor and a sperm donor who will both provide these gametes to create an embryo that will be transferred to the uterus of the surrogate mother. This method is called allogenic surrogacy therapy.

The fertilized egg is then placed in the uterus of the surrogate mother, who will carry the pregnancy.

Who is a surrogate?

A surrogate mother is a woman who carries and delivers a baby to another person or couple. She has no genetic relationship to the child and carries it for someone else to give birth to. Surrogate mothers may receive compensation and may opt to give up all parental rights once their service is complete.

One of the most expensive things you’ll have to do for your family finds a gestational carrier. There is plenty of caring and trustworthy agencies that will send out a request for potential surrogates based on what kind of thing you’re looking for. Once you’ve found someone, hiring them is as easy as filling out paperwork, providing medical/genetic information, and agreeing to set up a financial agreement.

In some cases, the surrogate mother can also be a family member or a close friend who may agree to this process for no financial gain. Surrogacy is not regulated by any government agency.

Surrogacy, a boon

Surrogacy is a boon to women who cannot conceive. It provides an opportunity for infertile couples to have a baby. It can also be a boon for single mothers or gay couples who want to have a child without all the hassles of surrogacy.

It can be beneficial for both parties as surrogates are compensated for their time and effort, and the commissioning mother is able to spend time with her family rather than being pregnant.

How You Can Use Surrogacy For Treatment

Many fertility packages with surrogates include all the necessary screenings and monitoring for both, as well as an extra FET (frozen embryo transfer) if the initial transfer was unsuccessful. They do not include services of agencies who locate surrogates, legal services, obstetrical services, or compensation or benefits to these gestational carriers.

The legality of Surrogacy in India

The Indian Parliament recently passed two acts around Indian women’s reproductive rights and health– the Assisted Reproductive Technology (Regulation) Bill and the Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill. This aims to regulate and supervise assisted reproductive technology (ART) clinics and surrogacy and curb unethical practices related to issues like sex selection and exploitation of surrogate mothers by imposing both monetary penalties and jail terms for violations.

Transnational surrogacy was banned in India in 2015, but Assisted Reproductive Techniques and domestic commercial surrogacy continue through agents and private clinics.

The new laws in the bill state that couples seeking surrogacy should be married for at least five years. The couple has to be heterosexual and includes a man between the ages of 26 to 55 years and a woman of 25 to 50 years of age. Both have to be Indians and should have no biological, adopted, or surrogate children (unless the child is mentally or physically challenged or has a life-threatening disorder).

The criteria for anyone opting to be a surrogate mother states that:

The woman in question must be married (at least once in her life) and should have her own child.
She should be between 25 to 35 years of age and a close relative of the couple opting for surrogacy.
Any woman agreeing to be a surrogate cannot be a surrogate more than once in her life and at the time she should be certified for medical and psychological fitness. (Source)

However, these laws exclude same-sex couples or those who are not legally married and hence are not comprehensive enough. It also does not help couples who want to start a family earlier. It also insists on proof of one partner being infertile in order to initiate the surrogacy process.

Hence the laws in India are not inclusive enough.

Also read How to talk about male infertility with your partner

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We women often talk about equality — equal treatment, equal rights, equal salaries etc., etc. We hail feminism, condemn patriarchy but miss out on talking about how we treat our own clan!

While you may think that what I just wrote is complete absurd, deep down, you know it’s one of the darkest truths we need to accept and fight off.

A major section of our society is still at the bottom, or hanging in between their own clan is holding them back — and if you think your circle is untouched by this fact, you might need to cross-check!

_{Female leaders who show that they value diversity in the workplace receive much lower competency ratings than male leaders who show that they value diversity in the workplace.}
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‘There seemed to be a perception that when a woman advocated for another woman, she was somehow showing favouritism,’ it added.

Another study, conducted by Deloitte at 7,000 companies in 44 countries, found women made up just 15% of corporate boards around the world.

And did you know that there is a term for this?

Instead of acting as mentors, successful female bosses pull up the ladder behind them because they perceive other women as a threat.

This is known as queen bee syndrome.

First defined by psychologists at the University of Michigan in 1973, queen bee syndrome describes a woman in a position of authority in a male-dominated environment who treats subordinates more critically if they are female.

DID YOU KNOW:
Margaret Thatcher, the UK’s first female prime minister, has been described as a queen bee for not promoting or furthering the careers of women in her cabinet.

So, in a nutshell, if we want to be treated nicely and achieve equal status as men, then it needs to begin with us. Women supporting women!

They say, “celebrating another woman’s success or triumphs will never take away from your glory or shine. If anything, it’ll add to it and create more light.”

Undoubtedly, women supporting women are more likely to succeed. It reflects showing love, respect and making them feel secure. And here is how you can do it!

Celebrate their success

Societal and generational behaviours have taught women to feel jealous or be unhappy when other women succeed.

But celebrating their successes, small or big, is one of the easiest ways to break those societal norms of competition and jealousy. After all, when one of us succeeds, it inspires a hundred behind her!

How to celebrate her success?

Congratulate her on social media or post a congrats message on her Instagram or Facebook wall if she’s announcing her success there.
Compliment her achievement.
Show some curiosity or excitement and ask her how she achieved that success.
Plan success celebration parties and have fun together. Get your girls together and enjoy her moment.

Compliment them

Admit it! We all love compliments. Empowering women means helping them on their way to success and supporting their self-confidence. Putting out a positive vibe by dropping a compliment on their way can be a huge starter.

Here are some tips!

Focus on a great find by telling her that she’s looking amazing in her new dress or her dress is beautiful, or it could be surprising to see how easily she is breastfeeding her baby in a public place.
Tell her that she is doing amazing in her new business.
Try to make eye contact and make her feel that you are happy seeing her progress.
Be respectful and tell her how smart, strong, and honey she is.
Say right away about what makes you feel good about her, and don’t hold on to it for later.

Listen actively

It’s not about gossiping! It’s about listening to someone’s heart out. When women are stressed, they may look for fellow supporters to manage their stress. Be a true active listener by paying attention to them and providing feedback.

Knowing that we have someone to listen to us can help us know who we can count on for guidance and support, especially during hard times.

Lift them up

Start with your closed ones. Help your mother or grandmother. Send a text message or give them a call to ask if they need something or let them know that you’re thinking about them. Send them flowers without any reason to bring a smile to their face.

Extend the same support and love to other women. It might sound tiny in various ways, but hey, every step counts!

Connect women

Getting out of one’s vulnerability zone is important to move forward. And how can you help with this?

Start introducing your women friends to other people you know. Got someone new to the neighbourhood? Or even parenthood? Hook them up to your group!

The more they’d connect, the more they’d learn and move forward in their life.

Hang out together

This isn’t something new! #WednesdayWomen, Girls’ Night Out, #PajamaParty, etc., have been existing in society for ages. But how many of us actually practise them?

If you have been holding yourself back, this is the time! Or, if you haven’t been regular, it’s time to be on track now! Consider it a group therapy, reminiscing break or the hibernation period — take some time out, hang out with your sistas and give yourself the love and joy you deserve.

Embrace your friendship, nurture young women, start new relationships, empower girls, and help women rejoice!