So after the eyes met, started dating, in-a-relationship, things escalate quickly, and before you know you have both planned to take the relationship to the next level by deciding to go for a live-in relationship. Well as much as you both enjoyed each others’ company in the dating phase, living together is not going to be only fun and play (and sex). Yes. Living with another human, who may or may not be like you, comes with its own pros and cons. suddenly you are sharing your bed, closet, food, kitchen, bathroom, and even the potty seat. And before you may know small issues can turn to bicker, nagging arguments that may sour it.
There sure will be some awkward or challenging moments before you get the hang of living together. The transition might be a little rocky, too. But with some understanding and communication, you can make it work for both of you.
Here are a few tips to set some ground rules before you take the big step.
Set guidelines and expectations
Create guidelines around making space for each other and working through conflicts. Communicating the guidelines with each other from the beginning will only help to set some boundaries which will, trust me, only help you to make the experience more joyful. Things like finances, privacy and personal space, shared responsibilities, and so on can be discussed beforehand.
First off, if you have moved in, please make sure there is always a backup place you can go to (parents, friends) if you have to move out at any time or a safe place you can crash in during conflicts or if you ever feel unsafe from your partner at any point in the relationship.
Who will pay the bills?
If you’re both working, whoever comes to stay should contribute to food costs and other expenses. If it’s your house and you don’t need financial assistance, you may not want to take money from them, especially if they have limited income. Not having this part sorted beforehand can make it awkward later on.
Divide the chores
Taking turns to cook and shop can work if both know to cook. But if one doesn’t know or hates cooking they can take care of the shopping. If neither chore appeals, then choose something else like washing the dishes, laying the table, filling water bottles, etc. If you’re living in their house, respect their rules – this is an important aspect of a live-in relationship.
You might feel a little displaced if it’s not your house, so make an effort to respect their rules and honour their habits. Their routine might take some time to get used to. And if it’s your house, make them feel comfortable giving them some time to adjust to the new place and routine.
Emotional intimacy and ‘Me Time’
While deep conversations, doing things together can help build intimacy, But also make sure you both get some space and privacy. Take turns going for walks or going out with friends. Learn to give each other space but also make sure you don’t let each other feel alone or aloof under one roof either.
Physical relations
Respecting each other’s consent is most important during physical intimacy. If one is not feeling like it, then give them room for it. Work stress and tension can dampen sexy moods and now that you are living together, you may see this more often than when you were apart.
Communication is key
Empathizing and validating each other’s concerns can help make things easier. Acknowledge differences in opinion. Take turns listening and responding. Take breaks when things get heated and return to the issue when you both feel calmer. But make sure to communicate your feelings effectively and clearly. Keeping concerns and problems to self worsens when you don’t address them.
A live-in relationship can be both fun and challenging. Understanding, respect and communication will go a long way to iron out any wrinkles that may form over a course of time, provided these are addressed and sorted out in an effective way to make the relationship work out for the long run.
