Let’s Talk About Consent

Written By: Sindhu Kambam

May 14, 2021

Highlights

True romantic relationships rely on respect and trust.
Consent is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.
It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood.
Sexual encounter without consent is a sexual assault or rape.

Quick Read
Full Read

Most couples hesitate to discuss sex. While they enjoy talking about every other topic under the son, they hardly talk about intimacy and sexual interests.

The most common objection to practicing consent is the belief that asking someone to kiss or touch them will “kill the mood” or be less romantic, as if being open about what is going on between two people makes it less sexy. But it is not so.

Consent is a mutual agreement or understanding between the partners who engage in sexual activity. It is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.

The fact that consent kills the mood remains a commonly overlooked aspect. It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood.

It’s not like once the consent is given, it is granted every time. Pressuring or forcing your partner into sex is a sign of an unhealthy and unsafe relationship with dangerous consequences in the future and can ruin your relation.

Talking consent with your partner strengthens your bond and helps improve your sexual relationship. It communicates respect and builds intimacy with your partner and demonstrates your maturity.

Consent does not break your mood but opens the way for greater clarity, safety, pleasure, and ecstasy. Take your time. Get comfortable with each other. Consensual sex can be the biggest turn on.

Spread the love

Growing up in a culture where discussing sex is frowned upon, it is natural for everyone to be embarrassed to discuss the concept of consent in context of physical relationships.

Most couples hesitate to discuss sex. While they enjoy talking about every other topic under the sun, they hardly talk about intimacy and sexual interests.

Even married couples feel embarrassed to talk about sexual interests with their partners. The majority do not even ask their partner whether they are comfortable for a sexual encounter before engaging in it.

People tend to assume that they have the green light by default. The idea that one person is responsible for asking or pushing for sex is not only unfair and unsafe to the other partner but is also heteronormative. It supports the belief that one person has more power and control than the other in a sexual act. This mentality can put many people in vulnerable situations that could potentially lead to sexual assault.

Sexual consent is an essential part of healthy relationships and should always be communicated clearly. Asking for consent must become an indispensable part of the sexual act.

Here is a guide to help you understand what consent means in the context of sex, and how to ask for consent without killing the mood.

What is a Consent?

Consent is a mutual agreement or understanding between the partners who engage in sexual activity. It is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.

Discussions on consent improve healthy sex life and make your relationship better.

Kill the Myth – Not the Mood

The fact that consent kills the mood remains a commonly overlooked aspect. It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood. Talking consent with your partner strengthens your bond and helps improve your sexual relationship.

Consent is a spark when it comes to emotional connection, desire, intimacy, and sex. Talking consent is a great way to spice up your sex life and gives each partner a chance to state their needs and desires clearly.

How to ask for consent without killing the mood?

Get the guts to communicate with your partner

In general, sex and intimate relationships are vulnerable subjects, and many people feel uncomfortable initiating conversations about consent.

It is natural to feel embarrassed or feel nervous to start a conversation about consent. Talking consent helps you figure out the likes and dislikes of your partner and whether they are feeling safe with your act.

It communicates respect and builds intimacy with your partner and demonstrates your maturity. It need not be a long conversation. Just go with the flow. Ensure that it is a mutual and open conversation wherein both you and your partner can voice your comfort levels to have an enjoyable sexual experience.

Ask about your partner’s desires and interests

True romantic relationships rely on respect and trust. Couples should feel free to know each other’s interests and difficulties and should indulge in intimate talks for a healthy sexual experience.

Allow your partner to express and share their boundaries, preferences, curiosities confidently.

How to ask your partner whether she or he is ready to engage in sex?

“Are you comfortable with going ahead?”.

“Are you okay with this?”

“May I kiss you?”

Clear verbal communication in positive language is one of the greatest assets for your sexual relationship.

Respect your partner’s boundaries

If you want to move from kissing to intimate touch, try to communicate your desires with love and respect without pressuring your partner. Be honest about what you want and what you do not.

Asking for consent at every stage shows that you respect your partner’s confidentiality. Let your partner know it is okay if they want to stop or do something different.

Do not act like you feel rejected or make your partner feel like they turned you off. They might say no because they are not comfortable or not interested at that moment or for many other reasons.

Do not ask for consent again and again

Respect your partner’s feelings. Once your partner says no, let it be so. Accept it. Asking your partner repeatedly to engage in a sexual act until they give in is not consent but coercion.

One should know that a sexual encounter without consent is a sexual assault or rape, even with your married partner.

The Bottom-line

Consent does not break your mood but opens the way for greater clarity, safety, pleasure, and ecstasy. Take your time. Get comfortable with each other. Consensual sex can be the biggest turn on.

consent sex sex and relationships sexlife sexual desires sexual health Sexual relationship

Sindhu Kambam

A content writer by profession with a passion in art and science. Being a nature and technology lover, she loves to solve real problems that makes life easier.

This NGO founder Is On ‘Mission Menstruation’

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

May 27, 2021 | 09:05 AM |

1,021

Highlights

Humans For Humanity, a non-governmental organization (NGO) headquartered in Dehradun, is founded by Anurag Chauhan.

In 2015, Anurag started a project called WASH (Women, Sanitation, Hygiene) that works to educate women about menstrual hygiene, providing them sanitary napkins and training them to make biodegradable sanitary napkins making them self-reliant and earn an income in the process.

Quick Read
Full Read

Humans For Humanity, a non-governmental organization (NGO) headquartered in Dehradun, is founded by Anurag Chauhan. In 2015, Anurag started a project called WASH (Women, Sanitation, Hygiene) that works to educate women about menstrual hygiene, providing them sanitary napkins and training them to make biodegradable sanitary napkins making them self-reliant and earn an income in the process.

In 2018, WASH started the Breaking The Bloody Taboo campaign where, as the name suggests, Anurag and his team strive to strip women of the age-old taboos. The WASH project started by him has reached over 1.5 million women in over 6 states in the last 5 years. The workshop is led by doctors to tell the women about biological reasons behind menstruation, hormonal changes, about various stages right from teenage to menopause. Counseling is given to women particularly those who are dealing with menopause. Nutritionists tell women and girls about the importance of food & nutrition intake. Affordability and sustainability are big issues, which is why they train the women to make their own sanitary napkins at home. The workshop also covers the harmful effects of poor menstrual hygiene and teaches about the disposal of napkins.

Humans For Humanity started the Red Cloth Campaign during the pandemic, to spread awareness about menstruation & bust the taboos.

During the nationwide lockdown, the efforts of Humans for Humanity have come as a great help to the women who have been taught how to make sanitary napkins at home as they don’t have to go out and buy them but they can make hygienic sanitary pads themselves at home. Anurag was honored with the International Women Empowerment Award by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, Ministry of Drinking Water and Sanitation, Government of India and UNICEF in 2019

Spread the love

At fourteen years young when teenagers are dabbling with modern paraphernalia, Anurag Chauhan found his calling in social service. By the time he was twenty, Anurag had founded a non-government organization, Humans for Humanity in his home town Dehradun to bring awareness about menstruation, health, hygiene among women across India. At twenty-one, he launched the WASH project on Women, Sanitation, Hygiene, which educates rural women about Menstrual hygiene and provides training to them for making biodegradable sanitary napkins.

Had his mother discouraged him from playing with her sanitary pads saying, “Don’t touch that, it’s a ladies thing”, Anurag probably wouldn’t have been honored with the International Women Empowerment Award by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, Ministry of Drinking Water and Sanitation, Government of India and UNICEF in 2019. Instead, his mother chose to educate her son about what sanitary pads and periods were all about. This made all the difference for him growing up as an empathetic young man.

However, the turning point of working in this area came after reading an article written about deaths caused due to lack of menstrual hygiene. “I read a report stating that over 1,50,000 women in India die every year, due to menstruation-related problems. I was shocked at this statistic,” says Anurag. He started with awareness sessions and started distributing low-cost eco-friendly sanitary napkins for free. His cause received support from actress Twinkle Khanna.

But what bothered him was till when one could give something for free. “Today, we train women to make biodegradable sanitary cloth pads at an affordable cost”, says Anurag. “The women-centric workshop is headed by experienced doctors to make women aware of the biological reasons behind menstruation, stages from teenage to menopause, and other hormonal changes”.

Anurag’s organisation runs awareness programs in many villages, slums, schools, and colleges of Uttarakhand, Delhi, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh, Maharashtra, and Karnataka.

In the community, counseling is provided to women in need who are dealing with menopause. With a separate team of nutritionists, the workshop provides information related to the importance of a healthy diet and food. Affordability and quality are the two big concerns in sanitary napkins.

“For me, quality remains a very important factor even while making cost-effective sanitary products because I would never want to give another woman a substandard product that I would hesitate to give my own mother or sisters”, says Anurag.

Therefore, the organization trains women on how to make good sanitary napkins in their homes. It also covers the adverse effects of poor menstrual hygiene and spreads awareness about the proper disposal of napkins in the waste bin.

The WASH Project

Today The WASH project started by Humans For Humanity has reached over 1.5 million women in over 6 states in India in the last 5 years, as of October 2020. However, HFH is not restricted to just the WASH project. In May 2016, they launched an initiative called ‘Stree-The Woman’, a one-day event that focuses on self-growth, self-empowerment and self-love which was attended by renowned personalities.

In the year 2018, the organization started a new campaign named ‘Breaking the Bloody Taboo.’ The main aim of this campaign is to stop the old-age taboo against women.

In one of the campaigns in Rajasthan, the team members of Humans For Humanity organized a sessions with young girls and women of menstruating age where they even talked about the importance of holy plant Tulsi and were handed over a few leaves to women and asked them to nurture the sampling and observe the results after a month.

“I am sometimes shocked at the lack of menstrual awareness and menstrual literacy that women have. A 40 year old woman, married, was not aware that menstruation was restricted to bodies with the female reproductive system. She assumed it is something all humans go through, and thought probably her husband bled too but hid it from her as she did from him”, shares Anurag. “These are the kinds of myths we aim to dismiss”.

In 2020, Humans For Humanity launched ‘Red Cloth Campaign’ during the COVID-19 pandemic, to spread awareness about menstruation and bust the taboos. Actor Lisa Ray and singer Shibani Dandekar, Kirti Kulhari, Kubra Sait, Divya Seth supported the campaign along with thousands of social media users.

A Saviour Amidst The Pandemic

During the difficult times of nationwide lockdown in India, Humans for Humanity came forward to help women and train them to make hygienic sanitary napkins at home safely. Thanks to this project, during the scarcity of sanitary napkins during the lockdown, the seeds of WASH project he had sowed in the various states helped him procure 50,000 plus pads for distribution in Delhi. The initiative has made hundreds of women financially independent and empowered.

Their future plans include setting up machines that make eco-friendly bio-degradable sanitary pads from bamboo plants. This will be set up in villages and provide employment to many women making them self-reliant and financially independent.

“We talk about eco-friendly and sustainable products but in villages with a scarcity of water, water is an important resource and hence cloth pads fail the cause. Hence we are working on products that will be eco-friendly in the true sense”, adds Anurag.

Anurag’s project also extended to art classes in some schools where some classes were taught to make sanitary cloth napkins. This brought up a discussion among the class of boys and girls on what the whole thing was about therefore bringing out the subject up and breaking the gender barrier.

This Padman from Delhi is an example of how the youth of India are breaking the stereotype associated with menstrual hygiene by touching the lives of those who need awareness and education with a will to bring a positive change. Being bullied for his gender while working for a cause that largely relates to women, Anurag Chauhan says it does bring him down and affect him many times. But when he thinks of the larger good that is being done it’s nothing in comparison to that joy.

change men for menstruation menstrual health menstrual hygeine day padman period ally

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.