Let’s Talk About Consent

Written By: Sindhu Kambam

May 14, 2021

Highlights

True romantic relationships rely on respect and trust.
Consent is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.
It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood.
Sexual encounter without consent is a sexual assault or rape.

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Most couples hesitate to discuss sex. While they enjoy talking about every other topic under the son, they hardly talk about intimacy and sexual interests.

The most common objection to practicing consent is the belief that asking someone to kiss or touch them will “kill the mood” or be less romantic, as if being open about what is going on between two people makes it less sexy. But it is not so.

Consent is a mutual agreement or understanding between the partners who engage in sexual activity. It is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.

The fact that consent kills the mood remains a commonly overlooked aspect. It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood.

It’s not like once the consent is given, it is granted every time. Pressuring or forcing your partner into sex is a sign of an unhealthy and unsafe relationship with dangerous consequences in the future and can ruin your relation.

Talking consent with your partner strengthens your bond and helps improve your sexual relationship. It communicates respect and builds intimacy with your partner and demonstrates your maturity.

Consent does not break your mood but opens the way for greater clarity, safety, pleasure, and ecstasy. Take your time. Get comfortable with each other. Consensual sex can be the biggest turn on.

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Growing up in a culture where discussing sex is frowned upon, it is natural for everyone to be embarrassed to discuss the concept of consent in context of physical relationships.

Most couples hesitate to discuss sex. While they enjoy talking about every other topic under the sun, they hardly talk about intimacy and sexual interests.

Even married couples feel embarrassed to talk about sexual interests with their partners. The majority do not even ask their partner whether they are comfortable for a sexual encounter before engaging in it.

People tend to assume that they have the green light by default. The idea that one person is responsible for asking or pushing for sex is not only unfair and unsafe to the other partner but is also heteronormative. It supports the belief that one person has more power and control than the other in a sexual act. This mentality can put many people in vulnerable situations that could potentially lead to sexual assault.

Sexual consent is an essential part of healthy relationships and should always be communicated clearly. Asking for consent must become an indispensable part of the sexual act.

Here is a guide to help you understand what consent means in the context of sex, and how to ask for consent without killing the mood.

What is a Consent?

Consent is a mutual agreement or understanding between the partners who engage in sexual activity. It is about communicating your sexual interests with your partner.

Discussions on consent improve healthy sex life and make your relationship better.

Kill the Myth – Not the Mood

The fact that consent kills the mood remains a commonly overlooked aspect. It is a myth that asking for consent breaks the mood. Talking consent with your partner strengthens your bond and helps improve your sexual relationship.

Consent is a spark when it comes to emotional connection, desire, intimacy, and sex. Talking consent is a great way to spice up your sex life and gives each partner a chance to state their needs and desires clearly.

How to ask for consent without killing the mood?

Get the guts to communicate with your partner

In general, sex and intimate relationships are vulnerable subjects, and many people feel uncomfortable initiating conversations about consent.

It is natural to feel embarrassed or feel nervous to start a conversation about consent. Talking consent helps you figure out the likes and dislikes of your partner and whether they are feeling safe with your act.

It communicates respect and builds intimacy with your partner and demonstrates your maturity. It need not be a long conversation. Just go with the flow. Ensure that it is a mutual and open conversation wherein both you and your partner can voice your comfort levels to have an enjoyable sexual experience.

Ask about your partner’s desires and interests

True romantic relationships rely on respect and trust. Couples should feel free to know each other’s interests and difficulties and should indulge in intimate talks for a healthy sexual experience.

Allow your partner to express and share their boundaries, preferences, curiosities confidently.

How to ask your partner whether she or he is ready to engage in sex?

“Are you comfortable with going ahead?”.

“Are you okay with this?”

“May I kiss you?”

Clear verbal communication in positive language is one of the greatest assets for your sexual relationship.

Respect your partner’s boundaries

If you want to move from kissing to intimate touch, try to communicate your desires with love and respect without pressuring your partner. Be honest about what you want and what you do not.

Asking for consent at every stage shows that you respect your partner’s confidentiality. Let your partner know it is okay if they want to stop or do something different.

Do not act like you feel rejected or make your partner feel like they turned you off. They might say no because they are not comfortable or not interested at that moment or for many other reasons.

Do not ask for consent again and again

Respect your partner’s feelings. Once your partner says no, let it be so. Accept it. Asking your partner repeatedly to engage in a sexual act until they give in is not consent but coercion.

One should know that a sexual encounter without consent is a sexual assault or rape, even with your married partner.

The Bottom-line

Consent does not break your mood but opens the way for greater clarity, safety, pleasure, and ecstasy. Take your time. Get comfortable with each other. Consensual sex can be the biggest turn on.

consent sex sex and relationships sexlife sexual desires sexual health Sexual relationship

Sindhu Kambam

A content writer by profession with a passion in art and science. Being a nature and technology lover, she loves to solve real problems that makes life easier.

How Bollywood Has Distorted Our Ideas of Sexuality and Body Image

Written By: Sindhu Kambam

April 13, 2021 | 04:34 PM |

681

Highlights

Bollywood’s idea of sexuality has far-reaching consequences on India’s social fabric.

The impression of sexuality and body image as shown in Bollywood films tend to implant wrong ideas in their minds and mislead them.

Not only women but men too have become the victims of these notions of appealing body image and sexuality.

An international study finds that women in Indian movies are made to emphasize their sex appeal but are unlikely to have professions.

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We all love Bollywood and most of us even dream of becoming a Bollywood actor or actress. Everything in our daily lives from the way we dress, speak, behave, the style we choose to the way we think has been impacted by the cinemas.

We even see little kids dancing to the songs such as Chikni Chameli from Agneepath and Sheila Ki Jawaani from Tees Maar Khan. This shows the intensity of the impact created by Bollywood on young Indians and our society.

Cinema has far-reaching consequences on the young minds of Indians and Bollywood’s portrayal of women has been stereotypical for way too long.

The depiction of misogyny in Bollywood is hardly a new problem and is deeply rooted in the industry. Kabir Singh, for instance, though criticized for the way it portrayed an abusive relationship as a form of love was one of the highest-grossing movies of 2019.

These movies have made some people fear that it would inspire or even drive people to unacceptable behavior and may promote the dangerous idea that sexual harassment is acceptable.

Most of the youth have forgotten to embrace their bodies. Not everyone’s body type is the same nor has the same skin tone all over their body. It is important to remember that it is their professional necessity that makes the actors take special care to maintain even skin tone and look beautiful to attract the audience.

It’s time for all of us to take the responsibility to inculcate realistic cultural values among the young minds so that at least the next generation would know the reality and show respect towards others as well as themselves.

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Since its inception in the 1930s, Bollywood has been the go-to place for entertainment for a large fraction of the Indians.

Do these kids know the meaning of those songs?

The lyrics of some of these songs go from bad to worse. Have you ever realized that most Bollywood songs that you rocked to so happily as a child were disgustingly sexist?

How do these kinds of songs and movies influence millions of young and old minds, across urban and rural India?

Bollywood films have a great impact on one’s perception of sexuality and body image. Bollywood films are indeed sold on women for they focus on objectifying women, but these methods adopted to portray women are not only limited to the screen but have a social impact too.

Misogyny is not a new thing in Bollywood

Cinema has far-reaching consequences on the young minds of Indians and Bollywood’s portrayal of women has been stereotypical for way too long.

For a long time, Bollywood romances have solely been an expression of male desire with women having no say. They are portrayed as eye-candy and hyper-sexualized in most of the advertising posters to attract the audience and added to the fuel are the item songs where a female in revealing and modern clothes dances amid a pack of men.

It is very common in commercial films that female characters are objectified as mere sexual objects without intellectual capability, while men are portrayed as strong, professional, and intellectual, and heroic.

“An international study finds that women in Indian movies are made to emphasize their sex appeal but are unlikely to have professions.”

Women are usually portrayed as sexual objects in Indian films and are mostly used for supportive and decorative roles as is evident in Kabir Singh and most Indian films.

Are Bollywood makers fully aware of glorifying and promoting misogyny in relationships?

These movies have made some people fear that it would inspire or even drive people to unacceptable behavior and may promote the dangerous idea that sexual harassment is acceptable. The success of this kind of movie which glorifies misogyny shows that there is still a long way to go to bring a change in the perception of sexuality among young Indians.

Showcase of Body Image

Movies have always been a very effective means of communication and the impression of sexuality and body image as shown in Bollywood films tend to implant wrong ideas in their minds and mislead them.

The female actor is shown beautiful and attractive with a light skin tone and a perfect body which makes the hero get attracted towards her. This portrayal of the women in Bollywood films has led many young girls to achieve the unrealistic beauty standards of the female actors going through the painful process of waxing and other beauty care with the desire to look attractive in the eyes of their partner.

Not only women but men too are the victims of these notions. Bollywood hero is objectified as a tall person with a chiseling physique and without body hair and fat. Most of the men are under hidden pressure to feel good about their bodies and attract their partners.

While some filmmakers are trying to change the depiction of sexuality in Indian films, yet there is much to be done to have empathy and sensibility towards real women and the problems they face.

Bollywood’s idea of sexuality has far-reaching consequences on India’s social fabric. The actors need to realize that overemphasis of sexual scenes can have a huge impact on the young girls and boys and should have the courage to turn down the characters that objectify women with negative body image.

Body Image bollywood Bollywood actors Bollywood films cinema misogyny Sex appeal sexuality