If you are worried over your kissing abilities, here is how not to be. Your partner won’t want you to be all over the place considering kissing is sensual and something that ignites passion.
In order to enjoy the kissing process, one needs to go slow and ease their way into every kiss. However, according to Bustle if you are anxious over your kissing abilities, it might lead to rushing up the process. Nobody wants someone who is hyperactive and all over the place, as kissing is sensual and relaxing. Making you settle down and get engaged in the process.
Meanwhile, most people mess up the kissing process by going to extremes based on the pressure they apply on the process, though few people might be forceful with their kisses and end up bumping their partners and expressing aggressiveness.
One needs to understand that a few people are shy and timid and their kisses might end up being lifeless, so they need to apply the right amount of pressure and have a smooth kissing process. But, when you start kissing someone, try to keep your tongue out and concentrate on various ways and to kiss by just using one‘s lips. Nevertheless, above all, try to focus on techniques and skills that you enjoy and remember, kissing is supposed to be fun.
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Last year a condom ad took Indians by surprise when it revealed that 70 percent of women do not attain orgasm during sex. Wait, now 70 percent is a huge number. A number big enough to make us wonder why, women from the land of the Kamasutra, are not attaining climax during conjugation. The reason is that men’s pleasure was always given more importance over the woman’s.
Not all men are about give-and-take. Many just want to take from the experience of leaving their partner high and dry. Others are just ignorant of the female anatomy, they have no idea of pleasure points, have never looked beyond the missionary, and frankly don’t want to even make an effort. Some have no idea that good sex equals not only a combination of certain skills but also basic respect, trust, and consent from their partner. Very few bother to find out if their partners are enjoying the act, are comfortable, their likes and dislikes, or asking if they have climaxed.
But since its 2020, women have decided not to take it lying down. It’s time they rightfully claimed their climax, because unless sex is mutually pleasurable, it’s no fun. Remember, it takes two to tango.
For women, orgasms are as important for their physical health in regulating the menstrual cycle and improve circulation to organs in the pelvic cavity. The endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine released during orgasm have stress and pain-reducing properties and can help relieve aches, pains, and tensions. It can also help release a stuffy nose. They make the skin glow and are responsible for the pink flush helping skin health by rushing the blood supply.
This being said and the benefits of female orgasm listed; let’s consider a few factors that can help a woman reach the Big O.
Sex Education
First of all, are we even aware of the female anatomy to know how it works? Understanding the female body, its reproductive organs and their functions, parts of the sexual organs (vulva, clitoris, and vagina), and knowing the difference between urethra, vagina, and anus, helps partners navigate their way a bit better when it’s time to indulge in the act.
Masturbation is underrated
Touching oneself should be normalized. Unless you know your body, what parts you like to touch, and the sensations, how else would you learn what you like and don’t like? Female masturbation is so underrated. Women need to feel comfortable with their bodies first before they can hand over the reins to another person. Knowing what makes you orgasm, where you like to be touched, what you enjoy are things you need to learn in order to communicate the same to your partner during sex.
Do not underestimate the power of foreplay
Foreplay acts as a catalyst. Indulging in kissing, cuddling can help women to get in the mood and also help lubricate the vaginal canal through discharge (wetness) making it easier for penetrative sex, helping in achieving orgasm faster. If the vaginal canal is dry then it’s rather painful and can cause discomfort and unease for the woman. Ask if she is wet yet before penetration. Lubricant creams can help here.
Shed those inhibitions
It’s 2020 ladies. Claim your climax. There is no shame in demanding what you like and how you like it. This doesn’t make anyone a nympho or slutty. Trust me, your partner will be more than happy to know what works and doesn’t because they are also under the pressure to perform. Don’t expect them to know everything. Teach them a thing or so if you have to. They will thank you later.
Did you cum?
These 3 words are all it takes to know if your partner needs some more help to get there. Penetration is not the only way to achieve orgasm. For the uninitiated, there are 2 other ways for a woman to orgasm- clitoral stimulation, and G-spot orgasms. More on this later, but asking your partner what she would like, using some external help with fingers, sex toys can help make up.
Female Orgasmic Dysfunction
FOD is a condition where though a woman is sexually aroused she may be unable to, or have difficulty in reaching an orgasm. This can be caused due to old age, medical conditions, stress, and poor self-esteem but is treatable. One in 3 women may experience this.
Finding pleasure and happiness through sex and intimacy is a natural thing. It’s the right of every individual in a relationship, regardless of their gender. But the fun is only when it’s mutually pleasurable. If there is something preventing you from enjoying the act it is better to seek professional help and get it fixed.
Humzaad is a content writer who wishes to bring an alternate reality of the world to light with her writings. She talks about taboos and shunned topics often brushed under the carpet or discussed in hushed tones. Every writer has an alter ego and this profile is hers. Her writings often come with a trigger warning.
On other days you will find her gardening or making art. You can reach her at humzaadthewriter@gmail.com
