A popular name in the television industry, Sriti Jha has wooed her audiences with her endearing performances in blockbuster shows like Dil Se Di Dua, Saubhagyavati Bhava and Kumkum Bhagya for many years.
Sriti Jha is yet again winning hearts and this time the reason is more personal. An old video of Sriti reciting her poem ‘Confessions of a Romantic Asexual’ has gone viral. The video is from Spoken Fest held in Mumbai in January 2020. It has Sriti Jha candidly and confidently sharing her experiences about being an asexual.
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CJ9EZqRhoIl/?utm_source=ig_embed
Most of us have little knowledge about asexuality. It is what the ‘A’ stands for in LGBTQIA. The poem touches upon most of the curious questions and misconceptions we have about asexuality.
What is Asexuality?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation, just like homosexuality, bisexuality, and heterosexuality. It describes a lack of sexual attraction. Asexual people may experience romantic attraction, but they do not feel the urge to act on these feelings sexually. They have the same emotional needs as everyone else, but no sexual yearning.
“You can feel all the butterflies,
And your heart skip a beat for someone,
And yet not want to do “it”.
Does that make your love any less?
Does that make you incomplete? “
–Excerpt from ‘Confessions of a Romantic Asexual’
Abstinence, Celibacy, Asexuality – it is not the same
Abstinence is about deciding not to have sex. This is usually temporary. For example, many people decide to abstain from having sex before marriage.
Celibacy is a voluntary vow of sexual abstinence. In some cases, it can also be a promise to remain unmarried. In most cases this is usually for religious reasons and is often a lifelong commitment.
Abstinence and celibacy are choices. Being asexual is not a choice, it is who you are and that is what makes it completely different from abstinence and celibacy.
This is not to prove me greater.
I do not celebrate celibacy,
I am not a sex hater”
–Excerpt from ‘Confessions of a Romantic Asexual’
Not a medical condition or any hidden “cause”
One tends to find reasons for every feeling that does not conform to the “normal”. Feeling sexually attracted to someone might seem natural to the majority of the people. Lack of this sexual attraction is often labelled as a medical condition or perceived as an outcome of past trauma or fear.
There may be various reasons of low sexual attraction in certain people, but what asexual people feel is not a medical condition. It is not genetic. It is not due to trauma. It is not due to stress. It is normal. And there is nothing to be fixed.
“When I said “no” I meant “no,”
They said you’ve got to try a little more,”
–Excerpt from ‘Confessions of a Romantic Asexual’
Love? Relationship? – Is it possible when you an Asexual?
Love, sex, relationship are words we use so frequently with each other, that it is difficult for us to imagine removing one (that is, sex) completely from the equation. An asexual person might not experience sexual attraction, but they might still experience romantic attraction. Relationship with an asexual person is likely to involve love, closeness, fun, trust, humour and excitement just like sexual relationships. Asexual people are perfectly capable of intimacy and love, just not in sexual ways.
“I had felt wow in hugs and kisses.
I had felt wow every time fingers had run through my tresses.
But beyond a point, when it went, I was left alone.
So I learned to lie in words in moans.”
–Excerpt from ‘Confessions of a Romantic Asexual’
The poem strikes the right chords, so much so that we tend to forget momentarily how taboo this topic is. The poem gives us an understanding of what an asexual person goes through. Most of all, it does not leave us feeling sorry for the poet. It leaves us admiring the courage that Sriti Jha showed in opening up to the world and asking for acceptance and nothing else – for her and for others like her. As she defiantly ends her poem –
“I am asexual,
I’m not the only one
I am everything I need to
Better recognize me now.”
