Being ‘a’ Gay to Being Gay- Homosexuality in Indian Cinema

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For years, cinema has struggled to portray the LGBTQ community in their creations. From being stereotyped as the loud third gender Hijda (eunuch) characters to depicting gay men as effeminate characters hitting on other male casts, Bollywood and mainstream cinema have created set notions for homosexuals and transgenders which is far from the realistic portrayal, and are more often a subject of mockery and ridicule in the narrative.

From Dostana, to Student of the Year to Bollywood has always struggled to come out of its closet and accept the heteronormative portrayal of the community. But over the years, things have also evolved to a certain extent because when we see a movie like Shubh Mangal Savadhaan making big at the box office, we also realize that the Indian audience is more woke and acceptance of such characters.

Till actors continue to crossdress and act/dance in movies and on stages during award functions (insert here movies like Kya Cool Hain Hum, Humshakals) and the audience continues to find such acts funny and comical, we cannot at any point in time claim acceptance or respect for all genders and sexual orientations. Casual sexism continues to exist in all forms and is propagated by people of all backgrounds and classes this way.

Though the portrayal of homosexuality and homosexual characters still remains a joke in most mainstream movies, references to homosexuality in regional cinema remain more closer to reality, some of them portraying the struggles of the community with acceptance of self and society. My Brother Nikhil, Aligarh, Surviving Subu, Evening Shadows are among some other movies, who highlighted the social stigmas and dilemmas of being gay.

While the portrayal of gay characters compared to lesbians has been more while depicting homosexuality in Indian cinema, this is only a reflection of how the society is still not ready to accept its women openly embracing homosexuality among other things. Remember the uproar that Deepa Mehta’s movie Fire had caused during its release in 1997 for its depiction of same-sex love?

Here are 5 movies which made a mark for its portrayal of lesbian relationship

Mitrachi Goshta

Actress Rohini Hattangadi and Ujwala Jog played lesbian lovers in Vijay Tendulkar’s Marathi film ‘Mitrachi Goshta’ (My friend’s story) in as early as1981 where this concept of same-sex love was unheard of even. It portrays LGBT issues and the relationship between two friends, Sumitra and Nama.

Margarita with a straw

Margarita with a Straw is a 2014 Hindi movie directed by Shonali Bose. It stars Kalki Koechlin as an Indian teenager with cerebral palsy who relocates to America for her undergraduate education and discovers her sexuality following her complex relationship with a blind girl, played by Sayani Gupta.

Angry Indian Goddesses

Freida (Sarah-Jane Dias) is a fashion photographer who invites a group of friends to her family’s home to announce her marriage but won’t say who her betrothed is. Later, the ladies learn that Freida will marry Nargis which was illegal in 2015 when the movie was made.

141

‘141′ a 2015 movie is directed by Bavaji.V and featured Farooq Khan and Tanya as lead characters. This Kannada film portrayed a lesbian relationship between an Indian and a Russian/American womanand how they have to face the wrath of society. This was a very brave attempt for the Kannada film industry and stirred up a hornet’s nest.

Sancharram

2004 Malayalam movie ‘Sancharram, The Journey’ portrays the relationship between two young girls. Directed by Ligy J. Pullappally, and a true-life story, this film is set in a small community in Kerala and is the story of two young women, Kiran, a Hindu, and Delilah, a Catholic.

|Also Read Bisexual Women and Casual Bi-erasure|

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Sex is definitely one of the most pleasurable activity with far-reaching implications in almost every walk of human life. But, at the same time, it’s also nerve-racking due to the infamous “performance anxiety” associated with sex; a phenomenon that hasn’t discriminated any age of known human history. The questions like “am I doing it right”, “is he/she liking it”, etc. are always running in your head which is without a doubt, a bummer. But, the thought that beats them all is, “I hope it’s not over before it should be”. Now, if all these thoughts are troubling you, look no further cause we got you covered. Cue – Edging!!

What is Edging?

Edging aka the start-stop method is a way of taking the sexual stimulation to the very brink of having an orgasm –“the edge”- and then backing off, right before the actual orgasm happens. Yeah! So why do it and how’s it all related?

According to Dr Stephen Snyder M.D, a sex therapist, “really pleasurable and memorable sex comes from sustained high-intensity arousal, and an even intense orgasm” and that is what edging exactly does to you. Delaying an orgasm for as long as possible can result in an orgasm that is much more intense because the intensity of an orgasm is usually dependent on the duration, and the intensity of the arousal preceding it. What’s more, edging also helps you to stretch out the duration of your actual sex because you’re delaying the entire “premise” which culminates sex.

Edging particularly is more useful for women, as their orgasm thresholds are much higher than that of men, and also, women are able to sustain the sexual arousals over a longer period of time without losing the intensity contrary to men.

The benefits of edging don’t end there. So, we are familiar with the fact that edging increases the intensity of an orgasm and it’s duration, therefore, all the benefits of a proper orgasm can be attributed to edging.

A 2005 study showed that a woman’s hippocampus and amygdala, the parts of the brain responsible for anxiety and fear, show little to no activity. This has far-reaching effects on calming a person and putting that person into a relaxed mental state.

Edging also helps to combat the problem of premature ejaculation, which is a problem many men silently sulk about. So getting a grip’ over it would really help to boost your confidence, and also lead to better relationship dynamics.

How to edge 1-0-1

Edging is as straightforward as it gets. Stimulate yourself or your partner till the limit beyond, which you are sure to climax, and then either stop the stimulation or drastically decrease the intensity.

Men can use the squeeze method, which involves stopping the stimulation and then gently pressing the tip of the previous for 30 seconds, and then resuming, in order to control orgasm. For women, it requires them to calm down their breaths and become more conscious, in order to control an impending orgasm.

How to control?

Kegel exercise is something which both men and women can try to control their orgasm. This involves interrupting urination mid-flow, for a few seconds and then resuming. This helps to strengthen your pelvic floor and enable yourself to give an internal squeeze to hold back on to orgasm.

Apart from all this, communication with your partner is the key to understanding the initial signs of an incoming orgasm because, beyond a certain point, it’s impossible to hold onto an orgasm.

So, there you have it, edging and it’s basics, all right here for you. Hopefully, it helps you keep your edge.