In all romantic and sexual relationships, whether they are new or old, there comes a time when things aren’t as easy as they once were and couples look for ways to improve sexual intimacy. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you might feel like there’s nothing new to learn about your partner.
It can be difficult to keep things fresh in a long-term relationship. You might find that you’ve heard all of your partner’s stories, know all their quirks, and don’t know how to get to know them better. All relationships go through periods where they’re not as easy as before.
In new relationships, learning about what makes them go, what turns them on, and what turns them off takes time because not many couples discuss these things outright and upfront. In fact, some couples may not know these things about their partners even after staying together for years.
The good thing about relationships is that it’s never too late to get back on track. It’s always going to be a work in progress, and keeping a relationship going takes a lot of patience and understanding.
One of the best ways to improve sexual intimacy is to learn to communicate better and ask your partner questions. Not just any questions, either, but questions that will help you get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level to bring you closer not just in your relationship but even under the sheets. *wink wink*
What is intimacy?
Intimacy is the emotional close relationship between people in personal relationships. You can feel intimate with many different people depending on your relationship with them and the level of intimacy you feel in relationships may also change over time.
Just like how we are at times closer to certain friends than others, the same applies to physical intimacy as well. You may not have shared the same level of closeness and openness with all of your partners and that would have eventually decided the fate of your relationship in the long run. If we don’t put in the work to maintain that closeness, then our relationship can start to grow apart.
Questions to ask your partner to Improve Sexual Intimacy
If the ice has not been broken and if you haven’t had this talk earlier then here are some questions that can help you break the awkwardness to start with before you can get to the really intimate part. It is not a bad thing at all to talk about these things, and is a great communication exercise to make sure that each one is comfortable with the other, knows what is consensual or not, and what things can be a no-no when it comes to romance and sex.
What do you love the most about our relationship?
How would you prefer to be shown love?
How do you like to express love?
What do you fear the most about our relationship?
What is your favorite sexual memory you have of ours?
What has excited you lately in bed?
What is your favorite type of compliment to get while getting physical?
What is the closest you’ve ever felt to me during sex?
What is your pet peeve (something you don’t like to do) in bed?
What is your sexual fantasy/ kink/ fetish that you want to try?
While not all may have to ask their partner all of these questions, you can try to find some that resonate with you and start there. Spend some time together and have serious conversations if you’re looking for more support building intimacy with your partner.
Humzaad is a content writer who wishes to bring an alternate reality of the world to light with her writings. She talks about taboos and shunned topics often brushed under the carpet or discussed in hushed tones. Every writer has an alter ego and this profile is hers. Her writings often come with a trigger warning.
On other days you will find her gardening or making art. You can reach her at humzaadthewriter@gmail.com
If you find yourself wondering if you’re too dependent on others, or if you’re too independent-minded, let’s do a quick mental health check. It’s important to be able to count on yourself sometimes, but it can also be just as important to know when you need help. How do you figure out which side of the fence you’re on? Neither extreme is healthy, so it’s important to find a balance that works for your needs and personality.
The article from Infano will help you do a quick mental health check and break down the difference between being too clingy and too self-reliant and offer tips for how to adapt your behavior so that you are more balanced.
What does it mean to to be needy?
You may need others at some point in your life. It could be because you need help with something that is beyond the scope of what you can manage. It might be a time in your life when you are experiencing a difficult emotion and need someone to talk to. Or, it’s just your bad day, and you know that if you call someone up and ask for their help, they will gladly do so. The other person could be a friend. It could be a family member. It could even be a complete stranger. As long as you feel like you are not imposing on them, and that they can help, it’s just as good.
The need for others is a big part of our lives. For a while, you may work on being self-sufficient. You might even want to be self-sufficient. It gives you a sense of control over your life and makes you feel like you are taking care of yourself. But when push comes to shove, you will find that you are not as self-sufficient as you think. So, it’s important to realize that you need others in your life and that you can rely on others.
We all know that we shouldn’t be too selfish sometimes. Sometimes, we need to let other people help us when we need it the most. Sometimes, we even have to learn how to do things alone. We might not always enjoy it, but it’s necessary at times.
What is the difference?
It’s important to know the difference between coping alone and letting others in. Coping alone means that the person is trying to avoid their emotions by distancing themselves from their feelings. They often go for a long drive, have mindless sex, or drink alcohol with friends. These are all temporary solutions. The problem is that this person is dealing with their emotions by running away from them, which can also lead to an addiction. Letting someone else in means being vulnerable enough to share what you’re going through and feeling safe enough to let that person offer insight and comfort.
Sometimes in life, we need to ask for help from other people. We might feel a lot of shame, or we might worry that people will think that we are weak or needy. But honestly, who doesn’t sometimes need help? Learning to accept the support of others and not feel ashamed about it is an empowering step.
What does it mean to be self-reliant?
Being self-reliant is important when you become an adult because you’ll have to take care of yourself without the help of your parents. It’s more than just being able to cook, clean, or pay bills on time. Self-reliance means you can go through tough times by yourself and not rely on others for support. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pressure trying to juggle everything on your own and this can be tough. It is possible to let others in and still be happy, but the key is figuring out when and how to do so. After all, you should never feel bad for not being able to do it all alone.
Self-reliant people are able to deal with difficult situations by themselves. They use their coping mechanisms and don’t rely on others for help. One thing that makes these people so strong is their ability to overcome the feeling that they have failed. They take the time to relax, reflect on their accomplishments and make time for themselves. This can help them be less afraid of being alone so they can let others in.
Being self-reliant means being able to walk through life on your own. Being self-reliant does not mean that you don’t need help sometimes or that you will never depend on someone else for something. It simply means that you are capable of looking after yourself and coping alone when necessary. While there is nothing wrong with needing help, it is important to be able to get by and live a fulfilling life even when you’re feeling lonely
How can you become more self-reliant and let others in?
When you’re lonely, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of seeing your solitude as a weakness. It’s even worse when you know you are that way because of trauma or abuse. Oftentimes, there is an impulse to fix this problem by seeking out more companies. If left unchecked, this can lead to codependency and addiction.
The first step in learning how to cope alone and let others in is identifying the source of your pain or trauma. It might be something like PTSD from a car accident, chronic grief from losing someone close, or other mental health concerns such as depression. Once you pinpoint what’s causing your need for human contact and intimacy because of loneliness, then you can start working on how to heal it.
Ask yourself what your needs and wants are and come up with a list of tasks that you can do to meet those needs. It’s important to rely on yourself for some things, but remember to also take time for seeking out the help of others. Also, when you’re feeling stressed, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you can’t always be strong.
Here are 3 tips to help you improve!
1. Start by listing three things that you can do for yourself, two things that someone else could do for you, and one thing that would be difficult for anyone outside of the situation to do for you.
2. Try to go 24 hours without asking for any assistance from anyone else
3. Make an agreement with one other person (family member, friend, etc) that they will ask you how you are feeling before doing anything (e.g., “I’m going to feed myself as well as make sure everyone has
Why is it important to know the differences between these two notions?
It is important to know the difference between the two notions so we can develop a clearer understanding of what each one means. It is likely that people use these terms interchangeably, but they actually mean different things. Coping alone or being self-reliant means that you are responsible for your feelings and actions. Learn how to take care of yourself and your emotional needs without relying on other people. Letting others in refers to accepting help from others as well as giving it. This means recognizing that you do not have to do everything by yourself–accepting help when needed and sharing your emotional burdens with others who care about you.
Knowing the difference between these two notions is important for a mental health check in and is key to a healthy, happy life. Alone is about knowing when you need to take care of yourself and when you can trust others with your well-being. Letting in is about choosing who you allow into your life and why, as well as being able to accept help from others. Learning to balance both of these skill sets will have a positive impact on your life.
It is important to know the difference between being self-reliant and being clingy. Coping is a tool that we use in order to manage our reactions or feelings to difficulties or unpleasant situations. It happens when we hear someone’s bad news, for example. We may say “I’m sorry” or “that’s tough.” This lets us be there for that person while trying not to let it take over our emotions. Letting go, on the other hand, means walking away from problems so they don’t have any more power over us.
Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.