Time To Rethink About Sex Education?

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While growing up, the only chapter that I read related to sex was on reproduction in biology — 10th grade — it covered all the possible aspects of the human body and hardly dedicated two pages to sexual intercourse! Besides, the way it explained everything and was further elaborated by our teacher was everything but not what it was supposed to be — probably because of the controversial and scandalous image of the word ‘sex’!

I belong to that generation of women where every sexual thought was either of dominating, rape, assault or a marriage ritual — it wasn’t a happy or natural activity at all!!

While growing up, I realised that ‘sex’ was considered a sin to talk about but a duty to perform after marriage — virginity was a bonus point to your character certificate, and marital rape didn’t exist at all. And, somehow, it still holds true today.

Even today, while watching or reading news about rapes, our sanskarik adults curse the culprit but do not accept that there is a dire need of considering sex education in the curriculum. There is a dire need of talking about sex, vagina, penis, menstruation, etc. with the children and channelising their ‘good’ and ‘bad’ thoughts.

Not knowing and understanding these thoughts can lead youngsters to have weird or unwanted desires resulting in peculiar indifferences or unethical acts.

Sex is normal and important, and so should be sex education. Youngsters need to understand that they are not suggested to jump in bed with someone at this age but shouldn’t be ashamed when they decide to do it as responsible consenting adults.

Here’s why sex education important!

31% of the total population (2.3 million people over 15 years) are infected with AIDS/HIV.

Only 45% of young men and 28% of young women are aware of HIV/AIDS, its consequences and its prevention.

8% of unmarried women are not aware of even a single means of contraception and protection.

62% of young girls, even below 15 years, become mothers after getting married off to older men in many parts of rural and semi-urban India.

Approximately 50% of boys and girls face sexual abuse in their young lives as per a survey by the Ministry of Women and Child Development.

2 out of 3 girls are completely clueless when they begin menstruating.

Sex education helps in learning about the mental, physical, emotional and social aspects of sexuality by making children and teenagers aware about their physical well being, health, hygiene, dignity and also enhances their skills, knowledge, attitudes and social values which further helps them in developing respectful social and sexual relationships.

While we may argue about morals and ethics and refrain from talking about sex and sexuality — proper sex education do help in

Increasing young people’s awareness and enhancing their approach to sexual and reproductive health and behaviours.

Reducing risky sexual activities and STDs/HIV infection rates.

Making a more gender-neutral environment and accepting others’ sexual preferences.

The list can be long and endless, but the end goal is making our youngsters less vulnerable and more aware of something which is completely normal and not just a taboo!

Countries are rapidly acknowledging the importance of sex education, and it’s time for us to make a move — make responsible choices and impactful actions. Sex education and the right to know about sex is as important than any other human rights.

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Low sex drive? Feel like your sex and sexuality are in the dumps? Tried several things to turn yourselves on – date nights, weekend getaways, massages, and new positions, but none of it is working? You’re not alone. A recent study showed that nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex.

You may wonder – Is it possible to get my sex drive back? Will I ever crave sex again? It is possible to increase your libido, but in order to do this, you need to figure out why it’s gone in the first place.

What can be the reasons for low sex drive?

There may be several reasons for psychological reasons that may be the reason for your low sex drive.

1. You don’t really know what you like sexually

Strange as it may sound, a majority of women do not actually know what they like, and if they don’t know this, then why would they want to have it? Exploring your sexuality and what turns you on is very important. Your partner may not even realize how you are feeling and many times can be concentrating on his “moment”.

It is important for you to know about yourself about what turns you on and then to communicate your likes and dislikes about your sexual preferences to your partner, just like other choices in your daily life. In fact, just talking about the intimate details can be a turn on for many couples.

2. You’re stressed

You face many challenges in our daily life related to kids, relationships, finances, work and health. A sick kid, a damaged home appliance, a work deadline, a traffic jam, or any other unexpected event can cause additional stress. When you are feeling burned out at the end of the day and anxious about what is lined for the next day, it is obvious to not feel up to having great sex at the end of the day.

Mindfulness is quite effective at targeting the body’s stress response system and helping us calm down. Yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises are great ways to manage stress.

3. You feel unattractive

With the heavy influx of social media into our lives, you are comparing your appearance to people in Instagram images, Facebook pages, or whatever platform you are on, and you often judge yourselves to be worse off. The number of likes you get on a selfie unknowingly becomes a gauge for your attractiveness. Feeling unattractive and uncomfortable in our own skin, not only leads to us feeling low emotionally, but it’s also one of the causes of low libido in women.

You have to believe in yourself. Inner beauty, confidence are traits that you are slowly giving up on, but these are most important in the long run. Of course, you can exercise and try to keep fit, but don’t let appearance be the scale of your judgement.

4. You play the comparison game

It is easy to get the idea that everyone else is having great sex considering sex shows up everywhere – on the tv, in the books, on social media, in sex movies. Comparing ourselves with the explosive sex that we may think others are engaging in can be one of the causes of low sex drive.

Though sex may be great for a few, it isn’t always easy for most of the women you know, contrary to what they may try to portray to those around us. So, it’s time to stop the comparison especially with something that probably just exists virtually and may not even exist in reality.

5. You’re missing the emotional connect

Having a strong emotional connection with your partner ignites sexual desire. One of the causes of low libido in women is the lack of intimacy in the relationship. Lack of intimacy can lead to sex becoming a chore rather than something you look forward to. Sex should never become a means of avoiding conflict between partners.

A good approach would be to spend quality time with each other with no sex involved, talk about your problems, rekindle the romance in your relationship. Relationship counselling is also an option to consider.

In addition to these psychological reasons, there may be other factors that can cause low libido. Experiencing pain during sex can also result in low sex drive. It is best to consult a gynaecologist in such cases. Chronic illnesses like diabetes, high blood pressure, the thyroid can cause low sex drive. Medications for treating these conditions, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medicines, hormonal birth control pills can also affect your libido. If you notice your sex drive affected after taking medication, you should consult a doctor and discuss the possibility of changing the medication or the dosage.

When you’re experiencing low libido, it’s easy to feel sex is something that you’ll never want or enjoy again in this lifetime. But this is not true. Understanding the reason for your low libido and then working on it can get back your sex drive. Sure, you can live with a low sex drive, in fact, many women do – but why should you deprive yourself and your partner of the pleasure that sexual intimacy can offer?

For more articles on women’s health, sex and sexuality by Infano, click here.