Domestic Violence In Lesbian Relationships

Highlights

Identified as a growing social problem, violence in intimate lesbian partners includes sexual, physical, or psychological abuse.

Sadly, domestic violence in lesbian relationships is less likely to be reported to the police as many states and countries still do not recognize same-sex relationships and marriages.

Creating awareness ensures that those at the receiving end of the violence will have better access to services and, ultimately, get the help they need.

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Does the term “domestic violence” conjure up an image of a husband (physically or otherwise) abusing his wife? If you answered yes, like most of us, then we all have some re-thinking to do. The thing is, domestic violence in our country, and largely in the world as well, is always assumed to be violence taking place in a heterosexual relationship. However, recent studies show that rates of domestic violence among same-sex partners can be equal if not at a higher level than heterosexual ones.

Often, calls for help from abused partners in same-sex relationships tend to be ignored by authorities. The matter isn’t considered “serious”. But why is this so? And what can be done to change this? In this article, I’ll be digging deep into domestic violence, particularly in lesbian relationships, hoping to throw some light and create awareness about this issue.

What is Lesbian Partner Violence & What Are Its Causes?

Identified as a growing social problem, violence in intimate lesbian partners includes sexual, physical, or psychological abuse. Although, according to researchers, physical violence is more prevalent.

Firstly, it’s essential to know where the violence stems from and what are the possible causes. Some experts believe that same-sex relationships are the subject of added stressors. These stressors can be internal and external. External stressors are a result of society’s ill-treatment and discrimination towards the LGBT community.

On the other hand, internal stressors are the ones more harmful and damaging. It is when the abuser projects negative feelings and attitudes about themselves onto their partner. And in most cases, the person subjected to abuse begins to believe that they deserve the violence due to all the internalized negative beliefs they have about themselves!

Is Lesbian Domestic Violence Reported To The Police?

Sadly, domestic violence in lesbian relationships is less likely to be reported to the police. A common reason for this is that many states and countries still do not recognize same-sex relationships and marriages. The law fails to protect lesbian partners. Thus, the person abused is reluctant to report the violence in fear of coming out as homosexual and receiving prejudicial treatment.

And even if someone does report it, the complaint may not be taken seriously by authorities and legal bodies. And, the reason for that? The common misconceptions we have in society about violence in general. We often think of violence as that propagated by a man or someone with more physical strength onto the woman. Unfortunately, this prejudice does more harm than that.

When violence in a lesbian relationship gets reported, it’s somehow always assumed that the partner who has more physical strength or who is more butch is the one who’s at fault. But this is absolutely untrue. Abuse has more to do with power and control and less to do with muscularity and physical might. It’s time we learn/unlearn to equate violence perpetration with men and masculinity.

What Can We Do To Help?

Activists say that raising awareness of the problem of abuse in same-sex relationships can be particularly helpful. Creating awareness ensures that those at the receiving end of the violence will have better access to services and, ultimately, get the help they need. Some liberal and progressive states in the US such as Massachusetts have introduced various fundings and provisions to ensure gay victims of domestic violence receive the same access and help that a heterosexual person would receive.

To imagine the same happening in India is, of course, not an overnight dream. Especially in a country where merely acknowledging and accepting same-sex relationships is frowned upon, providing help to victims in such relationships can be far-fetched.

But I firmly believe that when people come together, change happens. If you’re looking to help, start by looking out for the people around you. Someone you know is going through something similar, and they confide in you? Let them know that they can call and rely on you for help in any way.

The silence that has existed around lesbian relationships, and now around their domestic violence issues, is the biggest threat here. The various myths, fears, taboos, and discrimination have prevented this from becoming the subject of a public discussion. It’s high time you and I speak up and break this silence, shall we?

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Winter has set in. The cold air brings in relief from the heat, but it also brings along with it the possibility of various skin problems that affect women’s health.

Our skin loses a lot of moisture because of cold air, low humidity, and high winds outdoors. Bacteria and viruses are prevalent in the cold season. Our immune system needs to work harder in order to fight these germs. This makes the immune system weaker, which can cause more problems with your skin than usual. Paying a little more attention to skin care in winter can help in reducing these problems and preventing skin infections which add to women’s health woes.

Common Skin Problems that affect women’s health in the winter

1. Dry skin

Dry skin in winter becomes a common skin problem with increasing age. As the skin becomes thinner with increasing age, it can no longer absorb as much moisture from the air.

Due to the dry air and lack of moisture, the skin becomes irritated and dehydrated, causing itching and scaling. In some cases, it tends to become red and swollen too and can be painful. Chronic skin problems such as eczema and psoriasis are also aggravated by cold, dry air.

It may be a good idea to invest in a humidifier if you are one of those who get severe itchiness. In many cases, it is the dead skin cells on the body that cause itchiness. Taking a shower with hot water opens up the pores. Exfoliating the skin when showering can remove the dead skin cells and give relief from itchiness.

2. Acne

Acne is one of the most common skin problems that affect people of all ages in winter. Acne can happen on any part of the body, but it is most common on the face, neck, chest, back, shoulders, and upper arms. It can sometimes be painful and unsightly. The major reason for acne is the overproduction of oil that can lead to clogged pores, dead skin cells, and bacteria on the skin.

It is a natural tendency to reach out and touch the affected area, especially on the face. But it can be noticed that reducing the times we touch our face reduces acne as well. Gentle cleansers and moisturizers can also help pesky acne that is caused by the cold. A dermatologist can also provide antibiotic treatments to help rid your skin of acne issues.

3. Chapped lips

Splitting and cracking can also occur in severe cases, which is painful and can sometimes even cause bleeding. One of the most common mistakes people make is licking their lips while out in the cold. This causes severe lip irritation and can make the chapping worse. The best way to prevent this is by using a good lip balm that will moisturize the lips and provide them with extra hydration.

4. Dandruff

During winters, there is a lack of moisture content in the air, which makes it dry. And this eventually leads to dryness of the skin and also the scalp. Drying of the scalp leads to dandruff.

We also tend to consume less water during winters. This causes dehydration. Dehydration is also a reason for dandruff.

Wearing a cap or a hat, especially one that’s made of wool and infrequent hair wash are also other causes of dandruff.

Keeping the hair and scalp clean, and regular oiling can give some relief for dandruff. However, when severe and in need of personalized treatment, it is recommendable to see a dermatologist.

5. Dull Skin/Oily Skin

Dull skin is a common complaint in winters. This is because the dry weather lessens the natural oils from our skin that usually keep the skin smooth and healthy.

We should try to avoid using excessively hot water in winters, as it opens up pores and further reduces the natural oils. Instead, it is advisable to use warm or lukewarm water to wash your face so we don’t strip away essential oils. Use a gentle facial cleanser every day with no strong fragrances or perfumes added is recommended.

Many people also tend to experience oilier skin during winters. This is because the oil glands tend to secrete more oil to combat the dry skin, and sometimes they tend to go overboard. This causes the pores to enlarge and the skin to look greasy. Use a cleanser with oil control in such cases.

6. Dry and irritated nose

Cold air not only dries out your skin and chaps your lips, but it can also dry out the nose and causes irritation. Winter is also a bad time for people with pollen allergies which cause a runny nose. Cold and flu are also rampant in winters resulting in a dry and irritating nose.

The use of a humidifier inside the house goes a long way in reducing dryness. In addition to treating the source, tips like using saline solution to keep the nasal cavities moistened can provide some relief to the symptoms.

7. Cracked heels

Painful, cracked heels are a common skin condition, especially in winter. They are often caused by dry skin. In some cases, dry cracked feet can lead to infection or make walking painful.

Moisturizing the feet by frequent application of petroleum jelly can help. Putting on a pair of socks overnight is also a tried and tested remedy. Medicinal applications are also available to treat cracked heels.

Some Tips to Prevent Skin Problems in Winter

Each problem requires a unique treatment depending on the severity. But here are some preventive measures that we can take to avoid skin problems in winter –