Domestic Violence In Lesbian Relationships

Highlights

Identified as a growing social problem, violence in intimate lesbian partners includes sexual, physical, or psychological abuse.

Sadly, domestic violence in lesbian relationships is less likely to be reported to the police as many states and countries still do not recognize same-sex relationships and marriages.

Creating awareness ensures that those at the receiving end of the violence will have better access to services and, ultimately, get the help they need.

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Does the term “domestic violence” conjure up an image of a husband (physically or otherwise) abusing his wife? If you answered yes, like most of us, then we all have some re-thinking to do. The thing is, domestic violence in our country, and largely in the world as well, is always assumed to be violence taking place in a heterosexual relationship. However, recent studies show that rates of domestic violence among same-sex partners can be equal if not at a higher level than heterosexual ones.

Often, calls for help from abused partners in same-sex relationships tend to be ignored by authorities. The matter isn’t considered “serious”. But why is this so? And what can be done to change this? In this article, I’ll be digging deep into domestic violence, particularly in lesbian relationships, hoping to throw some light and create awareness about this issue.

What is Lesbian Partner Violence & What Are Its Causes?

Identified as a growing social problem, violence in intimate lesbian partners includes sexual, physical, or psychological abuse. Although, according to researchers, physical violence is more prevalent.

Firstly, it’s essential to know where the violence stems from and what are the possible causes. Some experts believe that same-sex relationships are the subject of added stressors. These stressors can be internal and external. External stressors are a result of society’s ill-treatment and discrimination towards the LGBT community.

On the other hand, internal stressors are the ones more harmful and damaging. It is when the abuser projects negative feelings and attitudes about themselves onto their partner. And in most cases, the person subjected to abuse begins to believe that they deserve the violence due to all the internalized negative beliefs they have about themselves!

Is Lesbian Domestic Violence Reported To The Police?

Sadly, domestic violence in lesbian relationships is less likely to be reported to the police. A common reason for this is that many states and countries still do not recognize same-sex relationships and marriages. The law fails to protect lesbian partners. Thus, the person abused is reluctant to report the violence in fear of coming out as homosexual and receiving prejudicial treatment.

And even if someone does report it, the complaint may not be taken seriously by authorities and legal bodies. And, the reason for that? The common misconceptions we have in society about violence in general. We often think of violence as that propagated by a man or someone with more physical strength onto the woman. Unfortunately, this prejudice does more harm than that.

When violence in a lesbian relationship gets reported, it’s somehow always assumed that the partner who has more physical strength or who is more butch is the one who’s at fault. But this is absolutely untrue. Abuse has more to do with power and control and less to do with muscularity and physical might. It’s time we learn/unlearn to equate violence perpetration with men and masculinity.

What Can We Do To Help?

Activists say that raising awareness of the problem of abuse in same-sex relationships can be particularly helpful. Creating awareness ensures that those at the receiving end of the violence will have better access to services and, ultimately, get the help they need. Some liberal and progressive states in the US such as Massachusetts have introduced various fundings and provisions to ensure gay victims of domestic violence receive the same access and help that a heterosexual person would receive.

To imagine the same happening in India is, of course, not an overnight dream. Especially in a country where merely acknowledging and accepting same-sex relationships is frowned upon, providing help to victims in such relationships can be far-fetched.

But I firmly believe that when people come together, change happens. If you’re looking to help, start by looking out for the people around you. Someone you know is going through something similar, and they confide in you? Let them know that they can call and rely on you for help in any way.

The silence that has existed around lesbian relationships, and now around their domestic violence issues, is the biggest threat here. The various myths, fears, taboos, and discrimination have prevented this from becoming the subject of a public discussion. It’s high time you and I speak up and break this silence, shall we?

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Infano brings to you 10 Days Of Mental Health in collaboration with The Logical Indian in lieu of World Mental Health Day on October 10. Nutritionist Zehra Aliakbar tells us the connection between food and mental health.

Mental health is an intrinsic part of health. It includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. Handling stress, relating to others, and making choices are determined by mental health. Hence it is aptly said that there is no health without mental health.

Though mental health is mainly determined by a range of socioeconomic, biological, and environmental factors, surprisingly it can also be influenced by access to food and overall diet quality and our mental health can, in turn, affect eating habits.

Acknowledging the connection between food and mental health

While it’s widely known that nutrition plays a key role in a person’s physical health, it directly affects emotional well-being, too. Most of us have often experienced that we turn to less healthful foods, such as sweets or highly processed snack foods when we are angry, upset, or stressed. Moreover, mental health can make adhering to a healthful diet more difficult when one is on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications that tend to increase appetite and cravings.

On the other hand, what we eat directly affects the structure and function of our brain. Let’s know the science behind this.

There’s a relationship between our brain and our gastrointestinal tract which is home to billions of bacteria that influence the production of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin (carry messages from the gut to the brain).

Eating healthy food promotes the growth of “good” bacteria, which in turn positively affects neurotransmitter production. A steady diet of junk food, on the other hand, can cause inflammation that hampers production. When neurotransmitter production is in good shape, your brain receives these positive messages loud and clear, and your emotions reflect it. But when production goes awry so does your mood.

Put simply, your brain should not be deprived of good-quality nutrition.

Food habits that aggravate stress and depression

Sugar and processed foods are known to cause inflammation throughout the body and brain, which may contribute to mood disorders, including anxiety and depression. When we’re feeling stressed or depressed, it’s often processed foods we reach for in search of a quick mood booster. A cup of coffee stands in for a pick-me-up break and a complete breakfast of fresh fruits and vegetables is replaced with high-fat, high-calorie fast food. A pint of ice cream rescues us from slipping into low woes.

This hinders us from adopting a healthy diet leading to emotional eating and unwanted health hazards.

Foods for mental health

The cycle of food affecting mood and vice versa is a vicious one, but it can be overcome by practicing healthy and mindful eating.

Certain nutrients in food promote emotional wellbeing. These nutrients include;

Omega-3 fatty acids: Salmon, walnuts, flax seeds, chia seeds, canola oil .
Folic acid : broccoli, spinach, sprouts, citrus fruits, nuts
Vitamin D: besides sunshine which is the main source you can also rely on fatty fish, mushrooms, egg yolks.
Magnesium: greens, nuts, beans and whole grains.
B vitamins: green vegetables meat, milk ,cheese, eggs
Tryptophan: helps raise serotonin which is a mood stabilizer and is found in milk, nuts and seeds, chicken, cheese, oats.

Modification in eating habits

Include alternative sources of carbs like Quinoa, millet, beets and sweet potatoes which has more nutritional value and greater satiety than the simple carbohydrates found in sugar and candy.
Always make sure your food contains good sources of protein like chicken, meat, fish, eggs, soybeans, nuts and seeds.
Fuel your brain and nervous system with healthy fatty acids. You can find them in fish, meat, eggs, nuts and flaxseeds, olive oil, coconut oil and avocado. This will support your brain function.
Staying well hydrated with atleast 8 glasses of water daily.
Do not skip meals. Never.
Be mindful of your caffeine and alcohol intake. Both can directly impact your mood or anxiety level.
Abstain from processed snack foods, such as potato chips, which can impair your ability to concentrate. Pass up sugar-filled snacks, such as candy and soft drinks, which lead to ups and downs in energy levels
Instead have a healthy snack when hunger strikes, such as fruit, nuts, hard-boiled eggs, baked sweet potatoes. This will give you more energy than packaged products.
Develop a healthy shopping list and stick to it.
Don’t shop while hungry, since you’ll be more tempted to make unhealthy impulse purchases.
Be mindful of where and when you eat. Don’t eat in front of the television, which can be distracting and cause you to overeat. Instead, find a place to sit, relax, like in your balcony and really notice what you’re eating. Chew slowly. Savor the taste and texture.
Try eating with your family or friends. A good company always adds spice to food and mood. Mealtime is family time

Over time, healthy eating, along with regular exercise and medication, helps to overcome any treatable mental disorder. Incorporating good-for-your-mood foods into your diet may take some extra effort, but it’s all worth it because all minds matter.