Men Need to Step-up Their Game When it Comes to Birth Control!

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Did you know, women account for 93% of all sterilizations? And the use of condoms declined to 52% over 8 years, while vasectomies fell by 73%? It is funny to know that when it takes both men and women to have a baby then why men are not more involved when it comes down to contraception or birth control methods.

There are several reasons why a man should be more involved in reproductive health decision making. The first one is that when his partner gets pregnant, he is equally responsible for it, and it comes with many paternal obligations and responsibilities.

Another reason is the culture. It is still considered to be a women’s job to look after the kids and also the family planning. Educating men is very crucial to prevent unintended pregnancies and improve reproductive health.

India’s family planning campaigns, sexual health clinics have traditionally been focused on women.

Three in eight men believe that ‘contraception is women’s business and that men should not have to worry about it.’

contraceptives — Various contraception methods

There are limited campaigns and contraceptive options for men and this hampers the system even more. Most methods of modern contraception are for women while there are only two methods for men- Vasectomy and Condoms which are underpromoted.

But the science of male birth control is tricky too. Researchers are after a lot of ideal male pill but some pills have the potential for several major side effects but work continues. So far, most tries at this time have been injectables.

A large study of an injectable hormone combination showed promise in 2016. Even with some side effects, 75% of those interviewed after the study said that they would use it again.

But a safe, effective male birth control pill is still in making. Most men and women say that man should play more of a role in choosing and using contraceptives.

It is both partners’ responsibility to ensure that you have safer sex and use contraception to prevent both unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Young men need to be convinced that male contraception is safer and simpler than female sterilization. While scientists are busy working on the male pill, men can still be proactive about reproductive health.

Young boys should be taught about these methods in sex education at school and targetted mass media campaigns featuring public figures and celebrities should be deployed.

Websites devoted to birth control and contraception, as well as other reference books available in bookstores can also play a role in educating men about their birth control.

And of course, there is always communication to discuss and talk about reproductive health to your partners about it.

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I am a happy wife, mother and a working woman. But I wish to have an affair.

Judging me already, are you?

For years I have been slogging day and night for the happiness of my family. Waking up in the mornings, dressing up my kids for school, tending to my old in-laws, cooking, packing lunch.

When I return home, I rush to make dinner. Then it’s time for me to turn teacher and tend to the daily school work of my children. By the end of the day when it’s time to retire, I am a mess. Perspiring. Tired. A sight that is totally unromantic for my hubby.

“You’ve lost your charm, he says”, looking at my shapeless body, at my saggy breasts which were once firm, at my tummy covered now with layers of fat, left from childbirth. “Why don’t you work out? Look at all the Bollywood bahus even after their deliveries. You must learn to take care of yourself”.

That night I mull at his words, thinking about the lives of the celebs, how they have it together. They work and workout. But wait, they also have a support system and the financial means to afford the extra help for their house and kids, don’t they? Access to the latest beauty treatments and self-care? I try to think if there is some extra time or energy that I may have left from my day to cram some physical activity into it before I hit the bed.

I miss my life; life when I looked perfect; when I was desired. I look around me and see the lack of excitement and romance now. And then, I wish to have an affair. Yes, yes I know how slutty it sounds. But I want to have an affair, I want to be touched, desired. I want to feel that rush of adrenaline and butterflies that is felt in a new love. A loving caress, an endearing hug, an acceptance of who I am, the way I am. Acceptance of my beauty, or the lack of it. Of the scars and the stretch marks and the stories they hold. Of the extra lines on my forehead, and around my eyes. I fantasize wild lovemaking as my fingers touch myself, imagining a lover in my head kissing all my imperfections. Pleasured and spent, I fall asleep.

I am doing it all, isn’t it? Then why do I have to have the extra pressure of looking young and beautiful too? Does life ever go backward? Why can’t we romance life for what it is, as it is? Why do we desire for everything to be perfect? Why are the false ideology of beauty and everlasting youth perpetuated so much to women?

I wish to have an affair- and what is an affair even? A relationship, a romance, an attachment, right? So yes, I want to have an affair- an affair with myself first and maybe with life? Where I am happy and content, and in love with myself. And the people around me are happy and content and love me back for who I am. Where my physical shortcomings and imperfections do not determine my worth as a person. Where self-care and self-love are not termed ‘selfish’.