Men Need to Step-up Their Game When it Comes to Birth Control!

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Did you know, women account for 93% of all sterilizations? And the use of condoms declined to 52% over 8 years, while vasectomies fell by 73%? It is funny to know that when it takes both men and women to have a baby then why men are not more involved when it comes down to contraception or birth control methods.

There are several reasons why a man should be more involved in reproductive health decision making. The first one is that when his partner gets pregnant, he is equally responsible for it, and it comes with many paternal obligations and responsibilities.

Another reason is the culture. It is still considered to be a women’s job to look after the kids and also the family planning. Educating men is very crucial to prevent unintended pregnancies and improve reproductive health.

India’s family planning campaigns, sexual health clinics have traditionally been focused on women.

Three in eight men believe that ‘contraception is women’s business and that men should not have to worry about it.’

contraceptives — Various contraception methods

There are limited campaigns and contraceptive options for men and this hampers the system even more. Most methods of modern contraception are for women while there are only two methods for men- Vasectomy and Condoms which are underpromoted.

But the science of male birth control is tricky too. Researchers are after a lot of ideal male pill but some pills have the potential for several major side effects but work continues. So far, most tries at this time have been injectables.

A large study of an injectable hormone combination showed promise in 2016. Even with some side effects, 75% of those interviewed after the study said that they would use it again.

But a safe, effective male birth control pill is still in making. Most men and women say that man should play more of a role in choosing and using contraceptives.

It is both partners’ responsibility to ensure that you have safer sex and use contraception to prevent both unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Young men need to be convinced that male contraception is safer and simpler than female sterilization. While scientists are busy working on the male pill, men can still be proactive about reproductive health.

Young boys should be taught about these methods in sex education at school and targetted mass media campaigns featuring public figures and celebrities should be deployed.

Websites devoted to birth control and contraception, as well as other reference books available in bookstores can also play a role in educating men about their birth control.

And of course, there is always communication to discuss and talk about reproductive health to your partners about it.

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Narcissus was a mythological Greek hunter who as the legend goes, saw his reflection in the water and fell hopelessly in love, with himself. A person who is obsessed with himself and has a sense of superiority is called a Narcissist.

What is Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)?

“This is a condition in which a person has an exaggerated sense of his/her own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration and troubled relationships with family and at work”, says Dr. Anirudh Kala, a psychiatrist. “There is a striking lack of empathy for others because of which there is an inability to perceive needs and feelings of others.”

Traits of a Narcissist

Shows extreme confidence but has vulnerable self-esteem which to the slightest criticism and often leads to lashing out and vengeful behavior when wishes are not fulfilled. Has a very strong sense of entitlement which needs to be constantly fed with excessive admiration. Spends a lot of time in grooming and keeping the wardrobe updated.
Is preoccupied with fantasies about his/her success, power, brilliance, beauty, or handsomeness.
Believes in self-superiority and associates only with people who are similarly placed because they are the only ones who will understand them.
Feels a need to outshine others in order to exaggerate self-achievements and talents.
Is manipulative, exploitative, and insists on having the best of everything — the best car, the corner office, and the best house out of the company pool, the best corporate jet.
Feels an innate need to be in control of things and situations. They want to be informed of their partner’s whereabouts, will check and keep a tab on their social media and correspondence, will criticize and control the aspects of their physical appearances, and will be the decision-maker on their behalf as if the partner’s say or opinion has nothing to do.
Monopolises conversations to the dismay of your friends and colleagues. They will want to head the conversation often bordering on their accomplishments and superiority and will offer unsolicited opinions.
Blames you when adversity strikes. Projection of blame is more like a self-defense mechanism they employ when they feel psychologically threatened. This can be frustrating and unfair as the partner gets accused of doing things that they aren’t actually doing.
Lacks empathy or the ability to identify with or recognize the experiences and feelings of other people. They want everything to be about them and belong to them. They have zero respect for personal boundaries often mistreating, devaluing, and humiliating others with their speech and actions.

Marital disharmony is common between such partners because the other can feel overpowered by a sense to upkeep the NPD’s reputation and may feel their partner is their ‘energy stealer’. However relationships can work if one is a highly passive person content to be in the shadow. The image of bravado actually masks a strongly risk averse personality.

Persons with NPD are more prone than others to develop depression and paranoid disorders. Identifying such personality streaks, therefore, becomes necessary. If you or someone you know is in a manipulative relationship, it is best to seek help. Asking a Narcissist to undergo therapy is easier said than done. One can instead lookout for support groups. Sometimes it may take some convincing because usually, they begin to think that a manipulative interaction between them and their partner is normal and that’s how generally relationships are. A strong support group can help the victim to break out of this assumption and help them realize the extent of manipulation by their partner.