Understanding Consent in the BDSM Context

Highlights

BDSM involves sexual preferences involving these physical restraints (one or more).

While this may seem a scary sexual adventure, BDSM is a thriving community worldwide.

For a healthy BDSM relationship, consent is key and sacrosanct.

Making a list of things that help you feel safe and things that don’t can help constitute a code of agreement with your partner.

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BDSM – Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. For the uninitiated, BDSM involves sexual preferences involving these physical restraints (one or more). While this may seem a scary sexual adventure, the BDSM is a thriving community worldwide. Some however find the whole idea absurd, psychopathological in nature, and borderline abnormal too. But on the contrary, practitioners of BDSM are psychologically healthy individuals and more so because, for a healthy BDSM relationship, consent is key and sacrosanct.

Despite the stigma attached, BDSM is an enjoyable practice for many. It involves role-playing where one person assumes a dominant role (dom) and another person assumes a submissive role (sub). These activities often involve physical restraint, power plays, humiliation, and sometimes buhttps://indianexpress.com/audio/the-sandip-roy-show/the-bdsm-scene-in-india-with-the-kinky-collective/5638826/t not always, pain. While some enjoy a standard role, many others prefer to switch (switches).

The Kinky Collective is a BDSM community in India that has thousands of people. This group seeks to raise awareness about kink in society as well as to strengthen the BDSM community in India. They also conduct workshops on BDSM practices both online and in various cities. Many more communities like this exist and BDSM is a thriving practice in the country. And their reality is quite contrary to what people think or assume of them.

These people are wild, open to experimentation, adventure and are comfortable and more open towards their partners to discuss sexual preferences and intimacies. This shows that it is a more conscious act involving mutual informed consent of the individuals involved. Therefore, consent here becomes an integral part of the act without which there is no going forward.

The difference between abuse and BDSM borders on consent and the boundary of limitations which is protected by a “safe word”. Knowing and respecting that boundary and stopping when told the safe word is what forms the crux of the whole act and makes it pleasurable and enjoyable for those involved. Safe, sane, and consensual are the catchwords here.

Making a list of things that help you make safe and things that don’t can help constitute a code of agreement with your partner of what each feels comfortable with, their boundaries, likes, and dislikes. For example, someone may be okay with punching and hitting but not with slapping. Respecting individual choices here is everything.

Choose Your Adventure

Finding mutual ground and choosing an adventure (if not already having one) which compliments each other is important and this involves discussion and understanding each others’ preferences. For example, enjoying candle wax burn can be a kink for Some. To safely act on the kink, provide pleasure to your partner, and at the same time being sexually aroused by it, forms the crux of BDSM.

Safety Precautions

Hygiene is of utmost importance. If sexual tools are involved, sterilization of the same, using informed contraception, cleaning up later, are some precautions that need to be taken. In the case of bodily fetishes and kinks, any wounds or injuries inflicted must be immediately tended to with antibiotics, necessary bandages, ice fermentation, or whatever is required until they are healed completely.

The Safe Word

A safe word is used to stop sex, mostly in BDSM relationships. This word is prearranged by the individuals involved, calling out which means that all activity should be ceased with immediate effect. Words decided are ambiguous and unrelated to make sure they are not confused with the activity. Once the safe word is called out, everything stops immediately. Nonverbal gestures or actions can also be decided in advance for those with whom safe words don’t work.

Lawful BDSM Practice

Certain types of physical harm are simply illegal and do not come in the norms of safe practice for BDSM in some countries and should be abstained from. Torture and serious body injuries can be lethal. Criteria for distinguishing abuse from BDSM and identifying abuse within BDSM relationships should be outlined because this consent process is what helps to destigmatize consensual BDSM practices.

Consent Violations

Knowing each other’s preferences and boundaries and sometimes also rating it on a scale of 1 to 5 can help in understanding the partner(s) so that nothing new is introduced in the act which may take the other by surprise and may not be in their comfort levels.

Etiquette Surrounding Consent

Being intoxicated on drugs and alcohol may blur decision making and should not be involved in during BDSM. Being conscious and aware at all times helps to enjoy the act better and being in control of the situation.

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Highlights

High blood pressure during pregnancy or gestational hypertension can be a problem and needs to be monitored.

Preeclampsia is a condition during pregnancy characterized by a sudden rise in blood pressure and swelling in the face, hands, and feet.

If preeclampsia is untreated, it can develop into eclampsia, a potentially life-threatening condition.

The exact causes of preeclampsia are not known but are likely to involve blood vessels in the placenta

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For Zahra Aliakbar, pregnancy came with a lot of trouble. Little did she know that the joy of having a child would come with so many difficulties and health issues. The onset of third trimester brought with it new pregnancy symptoms, she knew little about.

Her blood pressure was high and she developed swelling in the legs and water retention also known as edema. Her family history of hypertension and diabetes may have caused gestational hypertension.

“I had high blood pressure in my 9th month. But luckily it was not that serious”, says Zahra. “I was even admitted for a few days and kept under observation”.

High blood pressure during pregnancy or gestational hypertension can be a problem and needs to be monitored. Around 10 to 25 percent of women with gestational hypertension can progress to having a condition called preeclampsia which damages organs. High blood pressure and protein in the urine are the main reasons which cause preeclampsia.

“In my last trimester, I had a lot of swelling and water retention on my face, hands, and feet. I was on medication to lower my blood pressure till I delivered my baby. This could have led to more complications, but thankfully it did not.”

– Zahra Aliakbar

Symptoms and Complications of Preeclampsia

It is characterized by swelling in the legs and water retention, but this can be hard to distinguish from a normal pregnancy. If preeclampsia is not treated it can develop to eclampsia, in which the mother can experience seizures, go into a coma, and can even die.

Left untreated, preeclampsia can lead to serious complications for mother and the baby. Delivery of the baby is the best way to treat this condition but in some cases, it may take time for the mother to get better even after childbirth and in rare cases leads to a condition known as postpartum preeclampsia.

Swelling in feet — Swelling in the feet of a pregnant woman due to water retention

Blurry vision, sometimes seeing flashing lights, headaches, breathlessness, weight gain due to edema, vomiting, decrease in urine output are some of the symptoms to look out for if you are already having gestational hypertension.

The doctor may order blood tests, fetal ultrasound or non stress tests to check if there is decrease in platelets in the blood or impaired liver function or any restriction in fetal growth due to decreased blood supply to the placenta. Urine samples are collected over 12 hours or more, and the amount of protein is assessed to determine proteinuria. This can indicate the severity of the condition.

Causes and Cures

Though the exact causes of this condition are not known, experts say that the main reason is due to the narrowing of the blood vessels which may be caused due to a variety of reasons like damage to the blood vessels, insufficient blood flow to the uterus, immune system problems, genetic factors.

Though in most cases, delivering the baby is the best treatment, if you’re diagnosed with preeclampsia too early in your pregnancy, treatment or management protocol may include administering antihypertensive drugs, anticonvulsants and corticosteroids.

The doctor may also restrict physical activities and recommend bed rest to keep the blood pressure in control. Towards the end of pregnancy delivery may be hastened and labor is induced or a cesarean delivery is performed. Magnesium sulfate may also be given to improve uterine blood flow and prevent seizures.

Who is more at risk?

Family history, personal history of preeclampsia, women over 40 and teenagers are more likely to develop preeclampsia. Also certain conditions and illnesses like diabetes, high blood pressure, migraines, kidney disease and obesity, increase the risks. If a woman is expecting two or more babies, the risk is more.

Diet modifications

“Because blood pressure affects circulation, it can affect the amount of nutrients that are reaching the baby”, says Zahra who is also a nutritionist. “Therefore it is important to eat a nutrient-rich diet.Also include plenty of healthy foods like wholegrains, fish, nuts, legumes, fruit, vegetables and dairy products and foods rich in omega 3 are particularly important if someone has preeclampsia. Also abstain from fatty foods which may result in weight gain and oily foods which may cause indigestion, bloating and acidity”.

“Apart from some underlying causes for pre-eclampsia, the inevitable urges for certain kinds of food during pregnancy like spicy, sweet, sour, very often leads us to indulge in eating less nutritious food which triggers many gestational induced disorders like weight gain, gestational diabetes, and hypertension. So it’s best to curb the cravings and make conscious efforts to eat a healthy diet high in calcium magnesium Vitamin B and Vitamin D. Take regular supplements of the same. Avoid high salt foods like pizzas, pickles, potato chips, and such other processed foods, But it’s not recommended to follow a super low salt diet which may lead to water deficiency to the growing fetus”.