Here is why you feel horny

Written By: Humzaad

June 19, 2021

Highlights

The desire for sex is evolutionary and all living things are designed to reproduce in a way that is beyond our control.
Everyone feels the need to have sex regardless of their sexual orientation or idea of procreation.
Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. Some people feel more horny than others.
Some may have higher levels of sexual desire when their testosterone or estrogen production is high.
Sexual interests and turn-ons are different for everyone. Everyone has sexual urges — some more than others.

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The desire for sex is evolutionary and all living things are designed to reproduce in a way that is beyond our control. Everyone feels the need to have sex regardless of their sexual orientation or idea of procreation. When you see an object of desire, the hypothalamus in the brain fuels your lust, stimulating the sex hormones testosterone or estrogen from your testis or ovaries. That’s why some may have higher levels of sexual desire or feel ‘horny’ when they are ovulating or their estrogen production is high.

Libido or that horny feeling

Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. In psychoanalytic theory, libido is a psychic drive or energy, particularly associated with sexual instinct, but also present in other instinctive desires and drives. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. Libido is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors and is also an indicator of a person’s overall well-being. Some people feel more horny than the others

What happens during sex?

As sexual activity begins certain parts of the brain like the pre-frontal cortex stops functioning and cuts you off from rational behavior and self-awareness which makes you feel like you are losing control of yourself. At the same time, the cerebellum flares up its activity making you feel emotionally connected to your sexual partner. It also increases muscle tension in the body which results eventually in orgasm. During an orgasm 30 different regions of your brain go wild along with the hypothalamus and nucleus accumbens, speeding up functions of many systems in the bodies and heightening their function, especially those of the respiratory and circulatory system along with the genitals. and tightens parts of your body.

The brain’s reward/ pleasure center receives 1000s of signals from the nervous system and this may last from 10 to 20 seconds and calms quickly. Some other regions of your body get cut off which gives you an out the body feeling.

The pituitary gland gives you the afterglow and also creates a lazy feeling. Oxytocin and other mood boosters are also secreted making you feel a bond and also make you feel relaxed and happy for long after the moment.

What physical factors give you the urge to have sex?

Sexual interests and turn-ons are different for everyone. Everyone has sexual urges — some more than others. A thought of intimacy, a feeling of emotional bonding, the smell of your partner’s perfume, their touch can all be a response to make you feel a sudden sexual urge.

Hormones

These are the most important reason for sexual arousals. A spike in the hormones testosterone in men and estrogen in women is significantly responsible for a sexual urge. So the more hormonal you are, the hornier you may feel and also have more sexual desire compared to the urges. For women, this may also be dependent on the ovulation period of their menstrual cycles when estrogen peaks.

Foods

Certain foods can stimulate a sexual urge and are also known as aphrodisiacs. Fenugreek, herbs like ginseng and gingko biloba, pistachio, saffron, chocolates, oysters, honey are all well-known aphrodisiacs.

Alcohol

Alcohol sometimes helps men and women to relax and get in the mood by losing their inhibitions. But high alcohol intake can also reduce arousal and sexual function. The same applies to drugs.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy also stimulates certain hormones along with creating pressure on the clitoris, vagina, and urethra, making you feel aroused. This also happens when the bladder is full and pressure on those sensitive areas can be arousing.

Reasons people have sex

Sex may be the reason for procreation but we don’t have sex always with an intention to reproduce. Dr. Vinod Chebbi, sex therapist and marital counselor, director of Medisex Foundation Bangalore, is the first in India to combine psychotherapy and couples therapy into a comprehensive therapy model. According to him, these are also the reasons why people of all sexual orientations engage in sexual activity with their loved ones and this is the biggest proof that sex is not a practice for only having children.

Sleep Relief

It aids you to sleep because of the release of hormones like endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. This chemical cocktail gives you a feeling of relaxation. It helps you to calm down and gives a feel-good happy feeling thus helping you combat stress and helps you to sleep better.

Sex creates an understanding between two partners

Sex helps partners come physically and emotionally closer and helps to strengthen bonding between them. Having a baby is different from becoming a mother. This is a gender role and so is becoming a father. It is a great way of communication and intimacy. The four ways of communication for partners are verbal, non-verbal, doing activities together and having sex. Skin being the largest organ in the body, it has the most physical connection during sex through touch giving somatic experience. So sex serves as an intimate connection and nothing comes closer to that.

Sex gives fulfillment

It makes you seek to complete any incomplete relationships that one may have in their life especially their childhood issues. It may have different experiences and connotations and meanings for the same people with different partners.

It creates connection or attachment with people

Secure, insecure, childhood traumas can develop from patriarchal issues. You are so mean to me but you mean so much to me. They need sex to be calm safe so they will indulge with people with whom they feel safe.

Give you validation

Sex is a powerful feeling that makes you feel alive, gives you Validation and companionship. A part of your existence comes out during sex. People exist because another person validates them. So you validate yourself through a relationship with another person and sex is one form of that. It gives you an identity.

When is it not normal?

Sex drive or a good libido is actually an indicator of good health. But when this gets in the way of your normal life and starts affecting your routine, work, socializing, or health aspects, you should seek help from a doctor, sex therapist, or health professional. This could be signs of a hypersexual disorder. Having regular sex, masturbation, exercise, and finding other creative ways to indulge and keep busy may also help take the mind of the constant need for sex and arousal.

horny intimacy Libido sex

Humzaad

Humzaad is a content writer who wishes to bring an alternate reality of the world to light with her writings. She talks about taboos and shunned topics often brushed under the carpet or discussed in hushed tones. Every writer has an alter ego and this profile is hers. Her writings often come with a trigger warning.
On other days you will find her gardening or making art. You can reach her at humzaadthewriter@gmail.com

Why This Ecopreneur Is On A Quest To Go Plastic-Free?

Written By: Sonali

July 4, 2021 | 07:46 PM |

159

Highlights

How this Delhi entrepreneur pursued her dream of scuba diving?
Why did she quit it to start her venture?
What were the learnings & realizations on the way?
The story of her ‘passion to profession’ journey!
The story of building a plastic-free India!

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When Richa Malik decided to quit her cushy corporate life to pursue her dream of becoming a scuba diver instructor, little did she know that she will end up venturing into something that would change not only her life — but several other human and marine lives — entirely!

The former scuba diver was taught to carry her own bags and water bottles anywhere since childhood. A part of her knew what zero waste was and how minimalism can be followed.

While working as a diving instructor in Indonesia, Richa also started volunteering for beach clean-ups and dive clean-ups and saw the impact of plastic and what we consider as throwing ‘away’!

“The hard realisation that clean-ups alone are not enough drove me to focus towards consumption. On one particular dive, I had to chase a turtle away from a plastic bag. Plastic bags look like jellyfish underwater (turtles enjoy eating jellyfish). And this particular turtle was swimming towards what it thought was its lunch. I realised I could help that turtle on that day, but there’s no help for countless others. Over the next few months, I found a lot more plastic underwater, including packaging of the brands that I used to sell in my corporate life. Seeing the damage first-hand, I came back to India with the aim of reducing plastic consumption and The Happy Turtle was born,” the Delhi entrepreneur shares.

Read to know more about this gritty woman entrepreneur!

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I believe when people get out of their comfort zone, they end up writing their own story!

When Richa Malik decided to quit her cushy corporate life to pursue her dream of becoming a scuba diving instructor, little did she know that she will end up venturing into something that would change not only her life — but several other human and marine lives — entirely!

The former scuba diver was taught to carry her own bags and water bottles anywhere since childhood. A part of her knew what zero waste was and how minimalism can be followed.

While working as a diving instructor in Indonesia, Richa also started volunteering for beach clean-ups and dive clean-ups and saw the impact of plastic and what we consider as throwing ‘away’!

The Happy Turtle was started in October 2017 with the idea to reduce plastic consumption — however, the popular belief at that time was that an eco-friendly lifestyle meant spending more money and that it was only the responsibility of the governments and manufacturers to stop making plastic in order to get consumers to stop buying it.

Richa Malik Sonali Sharma Passion To Profession Infano The Happy Turtle CEO — Richa Malik, Founder & CEO, The Happy Turtle

This led Malik’s startup to create its own Plastic Footprint Calculator — a solution-focused tool that helps assess how much plastic an individual (or a business) uses each year and how they can reduce their plastic footprints. “We launched our online store in June 2018 on World Environment Day with a small assortment of reusable, sustainable alternatives to plastic which were made in India with the help of rural artisans. Over the past three years since our product launch, we have expanded to over 90 SKUs and work with rural artisans and women from SHGs across four states. As a result, we have helped avoid over 8 million plastic products from being used to date. In addition, our Plastic Footprint Calculator has been used by over 20,000 people to reduce their plastic footprints,” she continues.

The 36YO herself reduced her plastic footprint to less than 3 kilos per year — an average urban Indian uses 24 kilos of plastic per year. “While carrying a cloth bag and water bottle were things I grew up doing, some of the habits that changed along the way were either necessity-based or a personal choice. While diving, I switched to a menstrual cup as that was an economical, reusable solution that I could easily dive with. Soon after that, I switched to cold-pressed coconut oil for most of my moisturising needs. Now, I have a plastic-free bathroom, make my own toothpowder, use apple cider vinegar as a conditioner along with my shampoo bars,” she shares further. “I also rarely order takeaway food and prefer ordering from a place that will pack plastic-free or dishes that don’t need plastic packaging. I have stopped using an AC at home; even during peak summer and pre-covid, I would take the metro as much as possible instead of driving. I don’t buy clothes or shoes often and only buy what is needed and make it last. Switching to a sustainable lifestyle is a journey that is probably not so easy to start with as it seems daunting; however, once you take a small step, the rest of the journey seems easy.”

Establishing a plastic-free supply chain in a country where even the artisans are used to using a lot of plastic packaging was one of the initial challenges that The Happy Turtle was able to overcome successfully — becoming one of the first companies to have a plastic-free supply chain in India.

But that wasn’t the only hurdle in the way!

“When I started out to find suppliers and establish my company’s supply chain, I faced a lot of stereotypes and challenges with people asking me to transfer the call to the boss (usually indicating a man) or assuming that I am opening up a boutique or fashion outlet so would not understand supply chains and “should take their word for it”. I had to repeat my CV countless times to get taken seriously by some people. However, I chose not to work with them as I was sure that if they cannot respect a woman founder, there would be no win-win partnership with them in the future. This helped me establish a supply chain with supply partners who were helpful and respectful towards women founders, and also helped me develop a thick skin towards stereotypes that would initially get me down,” Richa recalls.

Yes, being a woman, leading a startup, handling a team and making the world a better place — the society finds it hard to handle altogether, isn’t it!!

But nothing could stop Richa from becoming what she is today! Apart from teaching humans the ways to a plastic-free life, Richa’s venture also supports a women’s SHG in UP to help them contribute to their family incomes and earn a living along with running their households. “We have also partnered with Alharh (a menstrual hygiene awareness campaign in Bihar) and created the campaign Sammaan. Through Sammaan, our customers can donate our reusable sanitary napkin kits called Unmukt, and Alharh helps distribute the kits in Bihar to help women gain access to safe, reusable menstrual hygiene products. Unmukt Sanitary Napkins are also made by the SHG women and thereby help rural women in two ways: generating a source of livelihood for the women who make them and improving access for safe menstrual hygiene products for women who receive the donated kits,” she says.

One of the most valuable lessons which Richa believes she has learned as an entrepreneur is to accept that the journey would be two steps forward, one step back. “It took a lot of effort for me to internalise this, but it has helped me look at challenges differently and expect more problems as we move further instead of assuming the journey ahead will be smooth post a certain milestone,” she continues.

In the coming years, the ecopreneur plans to grow the company both on the products and the consulting vertical — aiming to provide reusable, sustainable alternatives to most plastic products found in the house/ office and helping businesses reduce their plastic footprints by at least 30% by 2025 respectively.

As a woman entrepreneur and the sole woman founder of the company, Malik has faced multiple stereotypes both in her personal and professional life. Being a solo traveller, a scuba diver and becoming a technical diver (one of the very few Indian women to do so), Richa has realised that one can either choose to get bogged down or offended by these stereotypes or take pride in breaking them.

“I chose the latter and, over time, have developed a thick skin and the ability to laugh at such stereotypes. I believe that while the world is changing for the better, and gender equality may be a reality someday. However, we need to stop waiting for that day to come and start now by not letting the stereotypes affect us and taking pride in being the one who breaks them. To every woman out there, keep doing what you are passionate about — irrespective of the stereotypes. Don’t let naysayers get you down. There will be plenty of both along the journey, and if your objective is clear to you and you are convinced about it, then their opinion should not matter. Challenges and setbacks are bound to happen in entrepreneurship, but if your motivation for your startup is truly intrinsic and is something you believe in, then the setbacks will not and should not get you down,” Richa ends on this note!

You can visit The Happy Turtle here or follow them on Instagram!

Stay tuned to this space and our series #PassionToProfession to read about more such women, their inspiring journeys and stories.

Write your story to us and let the world get inspired by your wonderful journey!

Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out!