The desire for sex is evolutionary and all living things are designed to reproduce in a way that is beyond our control. Everyone feels the need to have sex regardless of their sexual orientation or idea of procreation. When you see an object of desire, the hypothalamus in the brain fuels your lust, stimulating the sex hormones testosterone or estrogen from your testis or ovaries. That’s why some may have higher levels of sexual desire or feel ‘horny’ when they are ovulating or their estrogen production is high.

Libido or that horny feeling

Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. In psychoanalytic theory, libido is a psychic drive or energy, particularly associated with sexual instinct, but also present in other instinctive desires and drives. The World Health Organization (WHO) states that sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. Libido is influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors and is also an indicator of a person’s overall well-being. Some people feel more horny than the others

What happens during sex?

As sexual activity begins certain parts of the brain like the pre-frontal cortex stops functioning and cuts you off from rational behavior and self-awareness which makes you feel like you are losing control of yourself. At the same time, the cerebellum flares up its activity making you feel emotionally connected to your sexual partner. It also increases muscle tension in the body which results eventually in orgasm. During an orgasm 30 different regions of your brain go wild along with the hypothalamus and nucleus accumbens, speeding up functions of many systems in the bodies and heightening their function, especially those of the respiratory and circulatory system along with the genitals. and tightens parts of your body.

The brain’s reward/ pleasure center receives 1000s of signals from the nervous system and this may last from 10 to 20 seconds and calms quickly. Some other regions of your body get cut off which gives you an out the body feeling.

The pituitary gland gives you the afterglow and also creates a lazy feeling. Oxytocin and other mood boosters are also secreted making you feel a bond and also make you feel relaxed and happy for long after the moment.

What physical factors give you the urge to have sex?

Sexual interests and turn-ons are different for everyone. Everyone has sexual urges — some more than others. A thought of intimacy, a feeling of emotional bonding, the smell of your partner’s perfume, their touch can all be a response to make you feel a sudden sexual urge.

Hormones

These are the most important reason for sexual arousals. A spike in the hormones testosterone in men and estrogen in women is significantly responsible for a sexual urge. So the more hormonal you are, the hornier you may feel and also have more sexual desire compared to the urges. For women, this may also be dependent on the ovulation period of their menstrual cycles when estrogen peaks.

Foods

Certain foods can stimulate a sexual urge and are also known as aphrodisiacs. Fenugreek, herbs like ginseng and gingko biloba, pistachio, saffron, chocolates, oysters, honey are all well-known aphrodisiacs.

Alcohol

Alcohol sometimes helps men and women to relax and get in the mood by losing their inhibitions. But high alcohol intake can also reduce arousal and sexual function. The same applies to drugs.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy also stimulates certain hormones along with creating pressure on the clitoris, vagina, and urethra, making you feel aroused. This also happens when the bladder is full and pressure on those sensitive areas can be arousing.

Reasons people have sex

Sex may be the reason for procreation but we don’t have sex always with an intention to reproduce. Dr. Vinod Chebbi, sex therapist and marital counselor, director of Medisex Foundation Bangalore, is the first in India to combine psychotherapy and couples therapy into a comprehensive therapy model. According to him, these are also the reasons why people of all sexual orientations engage in sexual activity with their loved ones and this is the biggest proof that sex is not a practice for only having children.

Sleep Relief

It aids you to sleep because of the release of hormones like endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. This chemical cocktail gives you a feeling of relaxation. It helps you to calm down and gives a feel-good happy feeling thus helping you combat stress and helps you to sleep better.

Sex creates an understanding between two partners

Sex helps partners come physically and emotionally closer and helps to strengthen bonding between them. Having a baby is different from becoming a mother. This is a gender role and so is becoming a father. It is a great way of communication and intimacy. The four ways of communication for partners are verbal, non-verbal, doing activities together and having sex. Skin being the largest organ in the body, it has the most physical connection during sex through touch giving somatic experience. So sex serves as an intimate connection and nothing comes closer to that.

Sex gives fulfillment

It makes you seek to complete any incomplete relationships that one may have in their life especially their childhood issues. It may have different experiences and connotations and meanings for the same people with different partners.

It creates connection or attachment with people

Secure, insecure, childhood traumas can develop from patriarchal issues. You are so mean to me but you mean so much to me. They need sex to be calm safe so they will indulge with people with whom they feel safe.

Give you validation  

Sex is a powerful feeling that makes you feel alive, gives you Validation and companionship. A part of your existence comes out during sex. People exist because another person validates them. So you validate yourself through a relationship with another person and sex is one form of that. It gives you an identity.

When is it not normal?

Sex drive or a good libido is actually an indicator of good health. But when this gets in the way of your normal life and starts affecting your routine, work, socializing, or health aspects, you should seek help from a doctor, sex therapist, or health professional. This could be signs of a hypersexual disorder. Having regular sex, masturbation, exercise, and finding other creative ways to indulge and keep busy may also help take the mind of the constant need for sex and arousal.