Richa* first downloaded Tinder, almost three and a half years back, to experiment and get a feel of what dating apps were like. This was followed by a couple of installing and uninstalling the app and hopping on to other dating apps only to realize that AI can get you a hookup but not a potential partner. This is what the majority of janta believes in!
Moreover, though these apps get women more agency in virtual spaces than the physical ones, it takes away the zeal of finding love online.
Apparently, women are taking the benefits of these apps in the form of ‘casual sex’ and finding an escape from their reality in these over liberated digital spaces.
But are they really finding what they are looking for?
‘Women are more active and engaged on Tinder than men’, reveals Taru Kapoor, India head of Tinder.
While most of these women are here for networking or casual sex, very few would say that they are looking for love online. But as our society demands women to be, the majority of these women are reluctant to accept that they are sexually liberated and engage with the very hookup culture.
“Indian women, in general, are conditioned to be indirect about their personal needs. Speaking for others, speaking as a family, putting the role of a wife, a daughter or a sister first are more comfortable social behaviour norms,” reveals Neha Bhat who is a trauma-informed art therapist, artist and counsellor.
“Girls also crave for sex, and we swipe to get sex too. But because of the gender ratio, it is really easy for us to get it, so we tend to be very selective. I never meet anyone with the plan of hookup, but yes there have been situations where I just went with the flow,” admits a user on Quora.
Richa, on the other hand, was quite serious and adamant about finding the perfect man of her life but, eventually, she ended up with only hookups and a few dates.
“I had multiple matches on Tinder, but most of those weren’t of any substance. Even then, I spent the first few months of my Tinder journey, mostly having casual sex. Please understand that I’d been single for a while, and it was extremely tough to resist the easily available action.
Tinder may have made it easy to meet new people, and go on dates with them, but it’s also made it extremely difficult to sustain a happy relationship. I may not be able to trust the men on it, but the app never disappoints,” admits another woman from the city of dreams, Mumbai.
“Everyone knows you’re there to fuck. So, no one wastes time with bullshit. The times I have hooked up with someone through an app was purely for physical pleasure. The guys were good-looking and well-spoken. And, thankfully, they weren’t creeps. I haven’t met anyone interesting enough to go back for a second helping,” another 25 YO shares.
Long thing short — while women are hopping on these apps to find some actions, they are not refraining away from experimenting in relationships as well.
But the whole swiping and matching angle gets distorted when the rejected men start stalking these women on social media — when they do not understand that just because a woman is open to hookups or casual sex does not mean that she is available to every man out there.
There is no official data of how many women have been harassed by the overhyped dating apps’ male users, but there have been enough personal experiences to conclude that though it sounds great to find someone online to match your high levels of estrogen, one has to be alert and sound.
Stay updated with Infano’s updated series to know more about women’s personal experiences and opinions.
Names changed for privacy reasons.