10 Natural Remedies To Fight Menstrual Pain

10 Natural Remedies to fight Menstrual Pain

The level of discomfort before a Menstrual Cycle can vary from one woman to another. While some go through slight discomfort around their abdomen, thighs, and lower back, others might experience extreme pain around the same areas. This pain might last a day or two.

The forceful uterine contractions, which cause cramps, can turn your world upside down in no time. These contractions or cramps start at worst and go on easing down with time.  However, those who undergo extreme pain would love anything that could take the pain away.

So, here are 10 basic tips and remedies that you can try to feel relieved.

Remedy 1: Apply Heat

It is one of the most common remedies that women are aware of. If you weren’t aware of that before, all you need to do is to place a hot water bottle against your abdomen. The warmth from the bottle will relax your muscles, thus easing down the cramps.

Other than that, you can use a heating pad against the areas experiencing discomfort or soak yourself in a tub of warm water.

Remedy 2: Drink More Water

Some Women even experience vomiting or dehydration, which can lead to loss of fluids. That, in turn, makes the condition worse. So, you must drink enough amount of water regularly. Drinking 6-8 glasses of water daily will ease bloating as it makes your symptoms worse.

You can add mint or lemon to your water, which will make it pleasant to taste. Make sure you do not use salt as it encourages bloating. Moreover, avoid alcohol in the same period as it can lead to dehydration.

Remedy 3: Gentle Exercise

You must be thinking that this can be the worst remedy ever, but it’s not. We are talking about gentle and easy stretching or yoga. Studies have found that people who practiced yoga experienced less pain compared to the ones who didn’t.

The Android Stores are full of Yoga & Exercise Apps, which have special classes for women undergoing menstruation. One such app is the Daily Yoga app (No promotion) that can help you deal with menstrual pain. Make sure you do not overdo it.

Remedy 4: Chamomile Tea

The endometrium of the uterus releases Prostaglandins. These cells are responsible for muscle contractions, nausea, vomiting, and headache. The anti-inflammatory substances present in the Chamomile Tea slows down these cells.

Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like Ibuprofen and Naproxen reduces the production of the same Prostaglandin cells. These help in easing the menstrual flow during the menstrual cycle.

Remedy 5: Massage

Massage therapy can help you ease down the cramping pain during menstruation. You can also use massage oil for the same and press specific points around your neck, abdomen, and sides to ease the pain.

Remedy 6: Time for Ginger

A group of young women underwent a study to find out the usefulness of Ginger against ibuprofen and mefenamic acid. They used 250 mg capsules of Ginger four times a day. Results showed that it provided the same relief as ibuprofen and mefenamic acid capsules. So, do not forget to use Ginger in your periods this time for better pain relief.

Remedy 7: An Orgasm

Some studies suggest that an orgasm can help you relieve pain from menstrual cramps. An orgasm is similar to gently exercising your body and releases endorphins, which helps in pain relief.

Remedy 8: Avoiding Certain Foods

As we discussed above, it’s better to avoid foods that encourage dehydration and bloating. Some of those foods are:

. Alcohol
. Salty Foods
. Caffeine
. Fatty Acids
. Carbonated Drinks

Ignoring the foods and drinks mentioned above helps you in decreasing the tension of cramps, thus help you in pain relief. You can alternatively drink herbal drinks like Chamomile Tea, Warm water with lemon, strawberries, etc.

Remedy 9: Use Essential Oils

There are several benefits of using essential ones. One being its relieving effect in periods. During a study on two groups of females, the group of women who used essential oils like cinnamon, lavender, rose, etc. in another carrier oil felt more relief compared to the one who used only one oil.

So, it’s better to blend in a few drops of essential oil along with a carrier oil to improve your pain relief during this cycle.

Remedy 10: Take a Diet rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Just like we have to cut out on some foods, we should try to eat some specific ones too. Eating a balanced diet rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids, vegetables, nuts, fruits, lean proteins, whole grains can help you stay healthy during this period.

Omega-3 is an essential fatty acid, well known for its anti-inflammatory properties. Its sources are seafood, nuts, seeds, and plant oils like soybean oil, flaxseed oil, and canola oil.

The tips and remedies stated in the article are easy to try, natural, and requires no professional expertise at all. There are many more but find the one that works best for you. The goal is to reduce the discomfort and pain, thus going through the periods comfortably. You can also try other remedies like getting Vitamin-D from Sunshine, Anti-Cramp Mineral Calcium, Curcumin, Cinnamon, Fennel seeds, etc. All these natural remedies will help you deal with menstrual pain in the best possible way. So, make sure you try them out.

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Are We Having a Jihad with Love, Sex, PDA, or Religion?

Love Jihad

One other thing which ruffles the feathers of some Indians after Love Jihad is the Public Display of Affection (PDA). The recent controversy surrounding the kissing scene from the web series, A Suitable Boy was enough to send some radicals reeling. It had all the ingredients present to hurt their sentiments- an unmarried interfaith couple, a kissing scene, and that too in a holy place of worship.

But the point they completely missed was that this was fiction from a piece of art, not even a real incident. However, this point was totally lost on the moral police who actually registered an FIR against the OTT producers.

While some are still figuring out whether to laugh or cry at this, one can’t help but wonder how these people are so selective in their choice of outrage? When Asifa and Alfia were raped in temples by pujaris, this act was lost on the same people who are today raising a voice-over something which did not even happen in real life? How bizarre and misguided their ideals are, I wonder.

To prevent young people from falling in love out of their caste/religion, stopping them from indulging in consensual PDA, passing bills to stop interfaith marriages, seem to be more important. Throughout women’s history, men have only been setting rules and deciding what they should do right from what to wear, how to sit, what to say, who to love, who to marry, etc.

The fact that marriages can fail even between couples from the same caste/religion, domestic abuse, rapes, and sexual abuse happen inside and outside marriages, and children being raped and killed in places of worship is the reality seems lost on them and is completely ignored. Whereas, these are the issues that should make their blood boil, as actor Swara Bhaskar rightly pointed out.

Srirangam temple sculpture Orgy
Photo Courtesy: Prathap Gandhi

India is the land of Kama sutra, a land with explicit sexual carvings on temple walls of Khajuraho, proclaiming and normalizing sex and sexuality. But the people of this country pretend that we don’t have sex. This is the biggest joke ever coming from one of the world’s most populated countries.

SEX is a Natural Act

House flies having sex
Photo Courtesy: Prathap Gandhi

Say SEX loudly and you have probably embarrassed someone around you and made them go “Hawww”. Kissing as an act of love is deemed dirty but violence in the name of religion is allowed?! 

Our misplaced ideals and priorities need to be questioned. Acts like filing an FIR for a fictional scene should be called out as should the people who have raised such an objection. 

To pretend that the people of country are living their lives by their religious ideals, not indulging in sexual acts and are treating each other with great respect is the biggest hypocrisy ever. And the moral police remain as confused as ever on which battles to fight. *sighs*

Your Biological Clock Is Ticking: What Does This Mean?

Woman holding hour glass

The biological clock is a term that refers to the mechanism which controls the physiological activities of an organism. This can change on daily, seasonal, yearly, or other regular cycles. When the term biological clock is ticking is used, it often refers to the decrease of female fertility with advancing maternal age. For this reason, women are rushed into the institution of marriage and coerced to have children as soon as they can, because beyond a certain age, the fertility rate decreases in women and men. As women age, their ovulation starts becoming irregular and the uterus sometimes develops fibroids too. As they enter perimenopause conception chances decrease and eventually become nil after menopause.

The ideal age to plan the first pregnancy is medically slated as 18-25 years. This is the time when a woman is most fertile. But now with the lifestyle changes, many women push family planning to a later age which should be normalized because procreation should not be the only aim of any woman. Many women are changing this by choosing to become mothers only when they are mentally prepared to have a baby, and not on the basis of their biological clock. They prefer choosing to live their life with their partners, have a career, or travel before they can get into the family game.

Mona Singh

Recently, actor Mona Singh said in an interview that she is in no hurry to have a baby. She got married to Shyam Gopalan last year, and says she got her eggs frozen five years ago, when she was 34.

Other medical conditions that can hinder conception apart from biological clock

Premature ovarian failure:

the woman’s ovaries stop working before she is 40. This can be hereditary and needs to be watched out for in women of the same family.

Blocked fallopian tubes:

When Fallopian Tubes are blocked, eggs cannot reach the uterus which impedes fertilization and eventually pregnancy. Single tubal blockage as well as both tube blockage is equally fatal. Blocking of fallopian tubes is one of the major causes of infertility among women and accounts for 40% of cases of infertility.

PCOS:

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is a condition in which a woman’s levels of the sex hormones estrogen and progesterone are out of balance. This is the main cause of infertility in today’s women. This leads to the growth of ovarian cysts (benign masses on the ovaries). PCOS can affect a woman’s menstrual cycle, fertility, cardiac function, and appearance.

Endometriosis:

This is a condition in which tissue that normally grows inside the uterus (endometrial) grows outside it. Most often this is on the ovaries, fallopian tubes, and tissue around the uterus and ovaries; however, in rare cases, it may also occur in other parts of the body. The main symptoms are pelvic pain and infertility.

Ectopic Pregnancy:

An ectopic pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg attaches itself to a place other than inside the uterus. Almost all ectopic pregnancies occur in the fallopian tube and are thus sometimes called tubal pregnancies. The fallopian tubes are not designed to hold a growing embryo; thus, the fertilized egg in a tubal pregnancy cannot develop properly and must be treated. An ectopic pregnancy happens in 1 out of 50 pregnancies.

Sperm motility:

This contributes as a 30% factor towards infertility. Male infertility is usually caused by problems that affect either sperm production or sperm transport. Through medical testing, the doctor may be able to find the cause of the problem. About two-thirds of infertile men have a problem with making sperm in the testes.

Fertility experts usually receive couples who have failed with numerous attempts and treatments. Treatment starts with counseling as most of them are disheartened and disappointed already.  They are prepared for the treatment procedures as it needs great motivation and needs many visits and attempts.

Thanks to the development in medical technology and scientific advancement, many infertile and childless couples have successfully conceived today. Treatments and options like IVF, IUI, egg freezing, surrogacy, sperm donation have changed fertility and conception and helps couples who are unfertile or have crossed their reproductive age or do not want to undergo pregnancy and childbirth for health/personal reasons to still plan a family biologically. Child adoption, of course, remains a great option too.

Also Read Why some miscarriages are still a mystery?

Oh! I Wish I Was Not Married

low sex drive

End of the day after my routine chores – finished office work, made dinner, cleaned up, checked up on my in-laws, done discussing the day with my husband – I sat down on the couch to quickly catch a glimpse of my favourite TV series. The phone rang and it was my mother on the line. The day had been so hectic, that I didn’t even have the energy to talk to her, even though it had been a few days. Nevertheless, after we exchanged pleasantries, she just asked me why I seemed so stressed and I blurted out – “I just wish I wasn’t married”. The moment the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it, not because I felt guilty about what I said, but for the fear of being judged. I thought of all the things that I could now say to cover up what I had said. But all the excuses went futile, when I heard the voice from the other side saying – “I have thought about that myself on several occasions too”.

By now you may have created a picture of me in your mind of this very unhappy woman struggling with family and work stuck in a loveless marriage. But that’s not true. I have a wonderful, loving husband and a very supportive (most of the time) extended family. But yet, sometimes I still wish I was not married.

Those days when I was dating my future husband-to-be were so carefree. We were both working professionals earning quite decently. There was no pressure of saving up. We used to just live it up for a few days after we received our paychecks – be it on expensive dinners, gifts or shopping. Even though we always ended up short of money by the end of the month, we did not have to explain to anyone why instant noodles were a good dinner option. But that’s no longer possible. Nutritious dinner for the family is of course my responsibility and so is planning and saving for the future.

Our plans and trips used to be so impromptu then. I remember we even went for a hiking trip on a day’s notice. And today, even going for a dinner or a movie has to be planned well in advance. I wonder what has changed. It’s the same him and it’s the same me. But has marriage just added this sense of responsibility of having to plan anything and everything.

Even back then, we used to plan and mark our calendars at the start of the year to highlight the festivals. The reason then used to be to club those holidays with weekends and take off to somewhere – sometime to explore new places or sometimes to just have a relaxing holiday away from the routine. We still look at the dates of the festivals, but now the reason is to plan for the rituals associated with it or to plan for family celebrations, and not to forget to buy another set of traditional attire that I will wear only once, but will take up space in my cupboard forever. All these festivals which really didn’t matter a little while back have become so important.

I was a very out-going person in the pre-marriage days. I used to hang out a lot with my friends, including male friends – to whom I swore to never let go of, to remain connected all the time, for whom I will never change.  When I started to date things did change a little, but still not to the extent of disappointing my friends. My partner was even cool with our annual getaways and in fact encouraged it. And then marriage happened. I don’t know why, but there is now this inherent pressure to now go everywhere with your husband. The society now expected us to make friends with more settled couples, whether we were having fun was secondary. And hate to admit it, but I really do have few very male friends now and I miss them – they were my buddies with whom I could chill for long hours.

The list of things that have changed are endless – ranging from details like monthly grocery, investment and savings plan, my dressing style,  making sure all your relatives are happy with you, remembering to call all family members on their birthdays and anniversaries, cleaning up so that house is presentable any time some relative comes in without notice, holiday planning to make sure the visits of both set of parents don’t clash and the list goes on… Our priorities have suddenly changed. It’s now just not about us, but so much more about others.

Marriage is a big and long commitment and it does change you, whether you admit that or not. You can imagine marriage as a dating or a live-in relationship with loads and loads of additional baggage. “Are you ready for this change?” – is something that you should give a good thought to before taking the plunge. Given a chance, will I undo my decision to get married? Probably not. I love the love, support and care I get from my husband and the sense of security I feel is unmatched. But do I miss those times when we spoke for hours together, did crazy things together without the fear of being judged, when love seemed to be the only food we needed when binge-watching shows (hunger did not even cross our minds). Yes, I do. And those are the days, when I wish that I wasn’t married.

Image Source: Tu Dosis Diaria

8 Queries That You Would Want To Be Answered During COVID-19 Pregnancy!

8 Queries That You Would Want To Be Answered During COVID-19 Pregnancy!

The COVID-19 Pandemic has changed the world completely. The typical routine has changed, and we are getting ourselves used to the new one. One such changed experience is pregnancy.

Pregnancies in the pandemic aren’t the same anymore. If you are pregnant, your mind must be going through tons of questions that you desperately want to ask your doctor. However, you must not be so sure which one to ask and which you should avoid?

So, we have compiled an article of eight questions that you can ask your doctor when you see him for your next routine check-up or telehealth appointment.

Q.1 If I get infected, does COVID-19 passes on to my baby too?

Being a parent isn’t easy. It’s stressful from the moment you know you are going to be a parent. You must be worrying and thinking to yourself, what If the virus passed down to your baby?

Stop Worrying. The reports suggest that the chances are pretty low that one can pass the virus to their baby. Instead, be focused on how to avoid getting sick in this period.

Q.2 Am I too stressed, or is that normal?

Pregnancy is just like a job promotion. When you get it, you become too happy about it. Later we realise it comes with new responsibilities and even bigger tensions. Since the pandemic is all over the world, it is natural for a parent to be worried.

If you feel your depression and stress levels are high, talk to your OB-GYN about it. Try activities that lower down your stress levels, stay away from any areas that can affect the health of your baby.

Q.3 What if I test positive? Will they separate me from my baby?

That is a hospital dependent situation. You should confirm with your doctor whether this is a possibility in their hospital or not. Don’t be too concerned since many hospitals keep the baby in an incubator but still encourages breastfeeding. (Where the mother is positive)

Q.4 Is it okay to work during my pregnancy?

No matter what the conditions are – everyone needs to work. Pregnancy gets a woman extremely worried. Distracting the mind from the same by working can be a good option. So, it’s okay for you to work for your kid and yourself. However, we recommend you take extreme care and precaution for yourself.

If possible, work in an environment with minimal risk while practising social distancing. Also, make sure you wear a mask at all possible times.

Q.5 Can COVID-19 affect my baby in any way?

That is a great question. Let us tell you that there is not enough evidence that the virus affects the baby in any way. People who were infected and yet delivered didn’t face any concerns. So, we expect this should have made you feel a little bit relieved now.

Q.6 Are there going to be telehealth appointments mostly?

Telehealth Appointments have allowed Doctors to address medical issues efficiently. Reaching out to your doctor has become extremely easy. It’s great for those who are at a high risk of getting COVID-19. Any health issue can be monitored and reported in seconds, with ease rather than travelling for hours to see the doctor.

Q.7 What do I do to protect myself from COVID-19?

You don’t have to do anything extra during this period. Limit public exposure, stay at home, wash hands, wear a mask, practise social distancing, and that’s all. You can continue to do whatever you used to. Lowering down stress a bit with your partner can come in healthy.

Q.8 Is it better to give birth at home or an alternate location rather than a hospital?

Home Births have boomed up in this period for sure. More and more women are considering giving birth at home to reduce the chance of covid. However, you should consult your OB-GYN for the same. If you are considering a home birth through a midwife, make sure you check her training certificates and how long she has been in practice.

Also, keep a backup ready as you might have to visit a hospital while the delivery takes place. Analyse everything and consider the one that suits you the best.

Pregnancy adds up a lot of responsibility to one’s life. With pandemic at our doorstep, we all need to take special care and precautions. In such a situation, our mind must be going through tons of questions, all at the same time. These were our handpicked, top eight questions that you need to ask your doctor on your next telehealth appointment. Apart from the guidance from your doctor, practice the basic covid guidelines, and limit yourself from any public exposure. Spend quality time with your partner and explore good aspects of life to get through this phase gently and healthily.

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The World Needs Love, Not A Love Jihad Bill

There is something nauseatingly tragic about ‘A Suitable Boy’, a recently released Netflix show by Mira Nair based on Vikram Seth’s novel. Is it the music, the representation of Muslim identity, or the systematic alienation of Kabir Durrani and Lata? Maybe all! The portrayal of 1950s India in a number of ways reflects the contemporary cultural construct. Lata, a young woman who studies English Literature at the Brahmpur University falls in raging love with a Muslim man Kabir Durrani. Lata’s mother does everything in her might to find ‘A Suitable Boy’ for Lata who would belong to her own faith. The couple could have been eventually falling apart albeit not on the basis of religion as it may appear but analogous to the many ways in which interfaith couples are systematically made to fall apart.

Women! Not Gullible Puppets

The reductive narrative of ‘love jihad’ still looms over the constitutionally diverse land like India where many religions and cultures have co-existed for centuries together. The attempt to polarise two communities by labeling interfaith love between a Hindu woman and a Muslim man as “love jihad” not just flames communal animosity but it completely robs women of their independence and assertion of choice in their own lives. What is especially interesting to observe is how the hollow establishment of ‘love jihad’ simply considers women as gullible puppets who are not fit to make informed decisions of their own. It reinforces the misogynist idea that if a woman falls in love with a man, it would have been under some kind of unsuspecting influence.

Constitution And Law

Article 25 of the constitution of India grants to its citizens the right to freely practice, professor propagate their religion, and Article 14 prohibits any discrimination on the grounds of religion, race, caste, sex, or place of birth. This, however more often than not, fails to manifest in the conduct of several reactionary politicians who repeatedly attempt to interfere in the business of free-willing interfaith couples basis this imaginary conspiracy stemming out of Hindutva propaganda. The society which is still not ready to grant autonomy to women in terms of choosing their own life partner attempts to institutionally colonize the identity and individuality of women.

The Recent Madhya Pradesh Love Jihad Bill!

The Madhya Pradesh State government took a step back from evolutionary progress and talked about presenting a bill to curb “love Jihad”. In addition, if the marriage is not forceful, the couple is supposed to duly notify the district collector a month in advance before formalizing the interfaith marriage. It is the first bill that will make the offense not just cognizable and non-bailable but also punishable with five years of imprisonment. Criminalizing interfaith marriage is corrosion of personal liberty and a gory assault on the soul of the fundamental rights of the citizens.

Digital Campaigns

The trends have seen organized assault even on ad campaigns that have tried to give out a message of communal love and harmony through the medium of their digital platform. The most recent one being the Tanishq ad which the brand had to, unfortunately, take down owing to the safety of their staff in various outlets. The digital campaign that had featured a Muslim family preparing for the goad bharaayi of a Hindu daughter-in-law was also recklessly labeled as “love jihad”. The question comes back on, “Why are interfaith marriages which are consummated between deciding adults well within their constitutional rights have to struggle at the receiving end of social prejudices?”

In The End,

What is a world without love? They say two souls who are meant to be, meet beyond all social limitations at a place where there is the religion of love and love only! A constructive society wheels forward and becomes a conducive force to become space for harmony. Inter-faith marriages equalize and integrate society and make it even stronger with the nourishment of secular values. Democratic freedom will ensure that no Lata has to forgo her Kabir to find a “suitable boy” because there is nothing called love jihad and there is everything called love! 

Paternity Leave Doesn’t Make You Less Of A Man, It Makes You A Better Dad

The Indian Team is all set for some cricketing action in Australia. The four-match Test series between the two teams, one of the most anticipated tournaments by cricket lovers, is expected to begin on December 17th. An announcement was made by BCCI (Board of Control for Cricket in India) that the captain of the Indian cricket team, Virat Kohli will be availing paternity leave after the series opener and returning back to India. Virat Kohli is expecting his first baby with his wife, Anushka Sharma in early 2021. This announcement has been received with mixed responses, some hailing the captain’s devotion to family and others questioning his integrity towards his country.

What is Paternity Leave?

Parental leave is a concept which aims to make the work-place more family-friendly. When there is the birth of a baby in the family, these policies allow for the possibility of taking a leave of absence – by the mother, father, or in some cases both – to take care of the child. 

In India, this leave almost translates into maternal leave, where the mother takes time off from work around the time of her delivery. The Maternity Benefit (Amendment) Act, 2017 allows for pregnant women to take leave for a total of 26 weeks out of which up to 8 weeks can be claimed before delivery. This law applies to all women working in establishments with 10 or more workers.

Paternity leave is a leave of absence taken by men when expecting a baby in the family. Under Central Civil Services (Leave) Rule 551 (A), there are certain provisions for paternity leave – a central government employee can avail of a paid leave for 15 days. Many corporate companies also offer paternity leave, but this has not become a common practice yet.

Traditional Approach

We have a long-standing tradition where the mother-to-be goes to her maternal home for her delivery and then returns back well after the baby is a few months old. It is a practice that is still followed profoundly. This practice might have been relevant ages ago when women did not go to work and were burdened with household chores of big joint families and there was very less involvement of men in raising the family. Finding solace from all the hardship in their maternal homes might seem like a good option for new mothers back then, but a lot has changed now. The women of today go to work and have aspirations of a good life and career. She might not want to uproot her entire being, give up her dreams because she is a mother now. She can probably do just fine, with the support of her husband being around. Paternal leaves can aid this change, making it easier for the husband to support the new mother.

Societal Pressure

When we hear a male colleague takes off at work to care for his kid not feeling well, it’s common to hear others gossip behind his back or teasing him by calling him a “Joru ka Ghulam”. It is almost as if it is a given that caring for the kid is the responsibility of the mother. This is just the kind of judgment that prevents men from availing paternity benefits. When the mother is around, it is considered inconsequential for the man to be around – almost like it makes him less of a man if he is not able to “make” his wife take care of the baby alone. 

But the fact remains that even though it’s the woman that goes through the process of delivering a baby, it doesn’t make fathers any less important. Bonding with the newborn and taking care of the baby is a responsibility that needs to be shared equally by both parents.

Prejudice in Workplace

Since maternity leaves are a norm, there is quite often a bias against women of childbearing age, in hiring and promotion processes. They are often seen as a liability to the company and results in hiring more men than women for jobs and increased pay gaps as well. When men start opting for and using paternity leaves, it might help change the work culture to a more egalitarian one – where there is no bias among men and women employees when it comes to job security and growth prospects

Paternity Leave Is The Right Of Every Father

Studies suggest that couples in which both partners spend more time together with the baby after child-birth tend to build a stronger bond with each other. This time together makes a man more empathetic to what a new mother goes through. It helps the new mother, who has gone through a lot mentally and physically, to feel less stressed. Postpartum depression is a known occurrence and having someone close to share your problems always helps. This time allows building a strong bond with the baby, which lasts a lifetime.

Paternal leave is that opportunity for a father to start building the bond with the new baby, and for the husband to spend that much-needed time with the wife where he can show her that they are equals in everything, including sharing responsibilities.

A Doctor recounts her experience of working during the pandemic

We have heard firsthand accounts of people who suffered, recovered or died from COVID 19. But what does a doctor go through and feel while treating their patients? Dr. Payal Debbarman from Vadodara, Gujarat tells us her experience of the pandemic.

The virus felt personal to me from the beginning. The first time I stepped in the OPD with COVID positive patients, I got blank. I felt chills, my skin felt dried and the PPE kit anyway made me breathless. With time, I got used to the trauma. When my mom called me, she said- “I don’t know when I will meet you next. We will meet again, right? But never forget, you are doing great!’ She was scared and frightened of the uncertainty.

As doctors, our parents are going through rough days when they see us going in an unseen warzone. It’s a battle where you can’t see the enemy but the enemy can see you.

Being a heart patient since birth, everyone around me showed concern and asked me to take a break. I was in greater danger. But for me, work has always been foremost. What made me feel upbeat, out there, and profoundly happy? But with multiple masks, shields, and helmets, it got claustrophobic. 

It felt the pain to see so many young and old people catching the infection. But you know, it was not me who gave them hope but the patients. In spite of being terrified, there was a soldier-like optimistic spirit in the wards. I have seen people chanting prayers together in the unit and sometimes just counting the rudraksha prayer beads over and over again. It’s the faith we Indians have. No matter what we go through, that faith in God keeps the hope alive.

The other day, a couple who were tested positive did not give two cares about the disease. All they wanted was to be in the same ward, near to one another. I smiled when the husband “demanded” that he wants his bed to be near his wife. They spoke all day when their beds were moved next to one another. When they got discharged, they went through the corridors holding hands and saying thank you to the nurses. I remember when I went back home from duty, my help said- “Didi, mere chote chote bache hain!(I have small kids) and added that she won’t be coming the next day. I understood her concern. Within an hour, she called to apologize. She told how her husband scolded her for not being there for the doctors of our country. It was so moving that despite being uneducated, they were aware!

I mean, there IS a little rainbow in the clouds too. All I have learnt is to look at that slight rainbow and smile. A smile can get you through all kinds of blues, even in the darkest of pandemic!

As told to Infano by Dr. Payal Debbarman

#JusticeForGulnaz: 20YO Bihar Girl Burnt Alive In Vaishali District, No Arrests So Far!

Calling out the hypocrites and asking if this would also be called a love jihad since the accused in this case is a Hindu and not a Muslim!

Five years ago, when my Bengali friend married her Muslim boyfriend against her family’s wishes, half of the North Kolkata was on rage and kept calling their affair another example of love jihad.

It took her more than two years to find acceptance from her kin, but they have been happy since ever!

Yesterday, when I read about Gulnaz Khatoon, it instantly hit a part of me — and I asked myself if my fellow countrymen would again call it a love jihad?

I think no!

Because this time, it was a Muslim victim, and the accused was a Hindu. And probably, this is why, even after more than 15 days of the incident, no legal actions have been taken yet!

And with every word I write, my heart aches by thinking of that young, innocent 20YO Gulnaz who was about to get married in just four months but was succumbed to her brutal and extensive burn injuries after she was set on fire by men who had been allegedly stalking and threatening her for a long time.

“She was to be married off in just four months. But Satish Kumar Rai, son of Vinay Rai, and Chandan Kumar Rai, son of Vijay Rai, burnt my daughter to death in Vaishali. She herself said so in a video before she died. We have nobody to speak for us,” says the mother of the 20YO deceased Gulnaz.

“She had objected to the sexual harassment and stalking they had been subjecting her to for three months,” said her younger sister. “When my sister used to go and dump garbage, these men would harass her. On October 30 at 5 PM, Chandan Kumar and Satish Kumar poured kerosene on her and set her ablaze,” Gulnaz’s brother added.

Gulnaz belonged to a simple family — her mother was a tailor; her brother was working in Patna. She was soon to be married and life, hopefully, had been admirable for her until these men started troubling her.

The saddest part of this incident is that the men who harassed, attacked and murdered this young Bihar girl was clearly named by her and her family but have not been arrested yet. A viral video on social media can be seen where the victim had clearly pointed out the accused’ names, but there have been no legal actions so far.

To make it worse, the media have gotten no response from the local police or Bihar’s re-elected Chief Minister Nitish Kumar. For like every horrific incident, #JusticeForGulnaz is trending online, but no one can see the pain and agony behind Gulnaz’s mother who has been pleading to the government and authorities for justice for over two weeks now. 

“They had told her they would kill her, they doused her with kerosene and lit a match,” her mother shared — for someone whose young daughter had been literally burnt alive, one could not even imagine the way she would be holding herself.

The incident happened in the Vaishali district of Bihar, but it is another tight slap on the entire country’s face — and on those who have been whining on how love jihad is exploiting and destroying young people’s lives.

And if you think that this is only a case of religion and so-called love jihad then let me tell you that the accused men carry caste names of the dominant community.

The incident happened in the Chandpuram village of Vaishali district under Desari police station after which the victim was admitted to PMCH in Patna and 15 days later was succumbed to her injuries.

As per a report by ABP News Online, the accused, Satish Yadav, is a known goon of the village who used to harass the victim. He, along with his two companions, caught Gulnaz near her house and set her on fire after she complained about him.

“They had been saying they would kill me for days. I had told them not to stand here [stalk], they said we have bought the road, they poured kerosene on me and lit a match. He is Vinay Rai’s son,” says Gulnaz in her video statement.

The social media users, again, are divided, and some of them are calling out the hypocrites and asking if this would also be called a love jihad since the accused in this case is a Hindu and not a Muslim. At the same time, a lot of people are staying numb as the victim is a Muslim from a poor family and the accused are from a dominant caste.

Much like the Hathras incident, the local police here too did not take any action even after getting the information soon after the attack and reaching the hospital. As per the sources, they met the victim and registered her statement also but did not file an FIR until the victim’s video statement started getting viral on social media. 

So there was no action taken by the local police for the first four days, and even after the victim’s death, no arrests have been made so far.

A classic (yes that’s what I would it) case of religion, caste, dominance and minority, Gulnaz’s case is not new — except that she is a Muslim. Her case is not first and won’t be the last also —  and this will keep happening until the government and authorities get themselves out of this quagmire of caste and religion.

Sometimes Dalit, sometimes Muslim, and sometimes minor — no matter what the location or who the government is — it’s always a woman losing her life, her family crying their heart out for justice and a bunch of filthy accused people who roam freely around the city!

Now I ask you, would you call it a love jihad? #JusticeForGulnaz #Shame

Indian Women Need to Up Their Political Game

In the last few days, we have been celebrating the first woman Vice President of color -Kamala Harris – of the United States, the most powerful country in the world. This is a true victory for us, fighting for women’s equality and women empowerment. Indians have also been very vocal about their celebration of her victory, which is more special to us considering, that she has Indian roots. As we celebrate this victory of womanhood, when we look into the political scenario in India, we see a grim picture – women make up only 14% of the Parliament as of 2019, though they make up around 50% of India’s population. Furthermore, women represent only 9% in various state assemblies.

Lack of interest due to lack of inclusiveness

So, what is stopping the women to actively participate and reach higher heights in politics?

The most common answer to this is that women are not really interested in politics. But the thing to ponder here is whether girls/women get equal opportunity or an ambiance to develop this interest. We still live in a society where the education of girls is given secondary preference to her brothers, where the girl child is expected to do household chores in addition to her studies, where important issues are discussed and decisions taken by the men in the family, where the main work of a woman from a young age is still considered as cooking and tending for the family. So, does she really get the environment to develop an interest in politics – probably not?

Empowering the rural woman

The 73rd Amendment Act of 1992 brought about radical changes in rural governance especially with the guarantee of one-third reservation of seats for women in Panchayati elections. This was a great initiative to improve women’s participation in politics. But rural areas still face very basic problems of patriarchy, poverty, female illiteracy, male dominance. Till the time, these basic problems are eliminated, it is difficult that this one-third of reserved seats are true representatives of the people. These seats can be easily bought by offering more basic essentials in return for dummy representation. When we talk about women empowerment, the focus also needs to be on rural women whose voices have been shut down for ages.

Objectification – every day, every where

We have come across several cases in the past few years where we see women even in high positions of political parties being objectified – some for their looks, some for their dressing sense, some for their past profession. These references are mostly never even mentioned for their male counterparts. This makes one wonder how much worse things would be for women still starting up and trying to find a foothold in politics. This objectification is an indication of the regressive mindset that still exists in society. The insecurity of men when seeing their female colleague rise up the ladder exists in almost every section of our society, but more so in areas that have been pre-dominantly male-dominated, like politics.

Acceptance

Research suggests that women legislators in India raise economic performance in their constituencies by about 1.8 percentage points per year more than male legislators. Studies also confirm that women are less likely to be corrupt with regards to their male counterparts. Recently, we have seen the efficiency with which Covid situations have been handled by nations like New Zealand and Germany which are headed by women in comparison to other countries. In spite of this, there is still a reluctance in society to accept the capabilities of women. Acknowledging the role and vision of women in improving the socio-economic condition of a country is often underplayed and not accepted.

Our Future

India was one of the countries in the world, which was headed by a woman, when it was almost unthinkable for many other countries, even the most developed one. Even in the current day political scenario, we have several strong women personalities – Nirmala Sitharaman – Minister of Finance, Smriti Irani – Minister of Textiles, Minister of Women and Child Development Sonia Gandhi – President of the Opposition party, Mamata Banerjee – Chief Minister of Bengal to name a few. However, the fact remains that these women remain largely anomalies in the Indian political scene rather than the norm. Studies show that for women to have a meaningful impact in Parliament, they need to reach at least a 30% threshold. We are still far away from this number, but hopefully, we will reach there soon in order to fulfill the dream of a gender-equal India.