Loving & Normalising Stretch Marks: One Mark At A Time!

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Stretch marks! There isn’t a single person on this planet who doesn’t have them somewhere on their body. But unfortunately, most of us are still not aware of what stretch marks are. What we only know is that we need to hide these marks and feel ashamed for having them ― as if they are shameful on our bodies. But, unfortunately, this is all our so-called today’s society teaches us.

Stretch marks occur when our skin does expand or undergo changes rapidly. They appear on our skin as our bodies change and grow ― be it pregnancy, puberty, or growth spurts. Instead of seeing them as shameful marks, they should be celebrated. Those marks prove that we are growing and living the way we should be!

These marks are more common on female bodies as they tend to go through more bodily changes compared to males. Changes like pregnancies, breast growth during puberty, and multiple of them, are seen in women all because their bodies grow with age, and their skin adapts to this natural growth. We need to accept the fact that stretch marks are completely normal and out of our control.

We witness so many products and YouTube tutorials claiming to reduce/ remove stretch marks; it is no wonder why women look at them with embarrassment and shame. We consider it as if we have committed some nasty crime, and the proof of the same has been planted on us in the form of stretch marks.

Not anymore! It’s high time that we start normalising them because, well, they are normal!!

How can we cut the shame and start to show more love to our stretch marks?

Women who make a point publicly and share their views & experiences with stretch marks are an important reminder of this. These body positivity people commonly celebrate their marks. From finding people stereotyping it to ‘you’ accepting it and your body, here are some of my favourite women who are normalising stretch marks. #LinesAreWorthy

Sohini Ghaie

_{“We appreciate seeing tattoos on other people’s bodies, and they are imprinted in a person’s skin deliberately. But stretch marks are beautiful innate tattoos that are signs of a struggle of the phase of our life that has made us who we are today! We are in the year 2022, and we need to get over the reel beauty and focus on the aspect of real beauty. I lost a huge amount of weight during the lockdown. I can still see the stretch marks on my waist. But that’s okay. I take it positively and just remind myself how beautifully I have transformed and how this is an evident scar that shows me what I am today. These are beautiful imperfections that aren’t shown in movies because they are supposedly ugly.}

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A post shared by Sohini Ghaie (@pandathinksof)

But on the contrary, it shows how raw you are. How real you are! It’s there… we need to accept it instead of visiting dermatologists and burning our wallets. Stretch marks used to bother me when I was in my early 20s. But today, I am 29, and I have come a long way. And I defined beauty for myself. I work on myself mentally and physically. When we give our definition of beauty, then it doesn’t matter what society tells us. We need to tell ourselves that we are beautiful no matter what and don’t think what the society says because Kuch Toh Log Kahenge, Logo Ka Kaam Hai Kehna,” says the Mumbai based digital creator.

Brynta

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A post shared by brynta (@bryntstagram)

Self-love and plus-size fashion influencer Brynta shares things like stretch marks and discolouration from her specific perspective as a South Asian woman. As she writes in one post, “As a woman (from the South Asian community), I was shamed for every little imperfection, which included textured/discoloured skin, of which I’ve had for most of my life…Fair and lovely, turmeric masks that burned our faces, cellulite gel, and so many other things were given to us as ‘remedies’ for what the world deemed as a problem.”

Dhruti Shah

“Most women often consider stretch marks a result of carelessness and find them ugly. They aren’t aware that these marks are as natural as any other body part. With each passing day, we should open up and discuss body scars and size more often. We should accept and love our bodies the way they are. Stretch marks shouldn’t be undermined or seen as a flaw in one’s beauty. Scars might not look nice on one’s body, but that doesn’t invalidate a person’s beauty. Women should take pride in one’s bodies, especially in such intimate areas. Also, having stretch marks doesn’t make you any less beautiful, so don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise,” shares the Gujarat based girl.

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A post shared by Jen Dela (@alltheway_fit)

Olivia Muenter

“The first time I noticed my own stretch marks was when a friend noticed them. As I got older, my stretch marks became my most dreaded physical benchmarks when it came to what would be a decade-long obsession with losing and gaining weight. As I started college and no longer had weekly hours-long sports practices, stretch marks started to appear on my breasts and higher up on my hips. It wasn’t until a couple of years after I graduated college that I discovered things like body neutrality and health at any size, both concepts that I was mainly introduced to by, surprisingly, influencers.
These were people who proudly posted on Instagram about their bodies and their insecurities. They taught me that I could be happy at any size—that I deserved to be. They also reminded me that I wasn’t the only person in the world who was a size 14 or had stretch marks.”
Olivia

The best way you can normalise stretch marks is to walk with confidence and show them more. People are more likely to start doing something when they see other people doing it, especially when they’ve been afraid to do so.

The first step is the most important but is the hardest one. Put on your favourite bikini regardless of your marks. Wear whatever you want to wear this summer, and get ready to flaunt them. Post a picture without getting it edited and let the stretch marks shine. Share body positive posts and pictures on Instagram that show off stretch marks in all their glory. Together we can do this!

If you have been stretch mark-shamed, do write to us. Share your thoughts and inspire the world! #LinesAreWorthy

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I belong to Nainital, a small town in the state of Uttarakhand. To start with, just after 15 days of being born, I was abandoned by my mother in the hospital just because I was a girl child. My parents had separated because of differences in marriage.

My father was suggested by family members to give me up for adoption as it was not convenient for a man to raise a girl child. My father bluntly refused the suggestion, slashing existing stereotypes back in those days. My relatives took care of me in the first few years.

But because of ever-growing family disputes, I was shifted to Nainital where my father was a teacher in Birla Vidya Mandir School.

Sometimes school teachers and sometimes neighbours who were close would take care of me there. Given the scenario, I had to learn to become independent at a very young age. as with growing age, I found it difficult to even take care of my nutrition because of which my immunity was affected too.

But the good part was I used to get a lot of time to play around as there was no one to call me out for my studies for most of the times. Soon after relocating, I started studying at Birla Vidya Mandir School in Nainital, where my father was a teacher and it was a boy’s school.

How This Nainital Entrepreneur Defied Societal Rules To Follow Her Dreams! — The Nainital Entrepreneur

This had a very positive effect on me as the experience gave me enough exposure to become an extrovert. But sadly, I could never bond with my brother as he used to live with my mother.

But as fate would have it, there was yet another surprise for me. As a motherless child and due to family and societal pressure and manipulation, I was married off early when I was barely 18 years old. This was done on the presumption that the rest of my life would become easier and smoother.

But God had different plans for me as I suffered grave disturbances in my marriage as well. The person I got married to happened to be involved in illegal business deals and connections. My father decided to take me back to Nainital, my hometown when we found out that everything that we were told was a big fraud and hence my family filed for divorce. I REMEMBER I WAS very sad and was battling DEPRESSION…..during days….because of the given circumstances. Then again my father and I faced societal pressure to not go for divorce as it would be difficult for me to handle things alone.

My father tried to give a chance to the guy and his family and so under pressure, I went back to stay with him for a week. What happened next tore me up mentally. I WAS NOT READY for any physical relationship with that man who was STILL my husband, for the namesake. Hence I faced MARITAL RAPE which in our so-called society doesn’t come in the CATEGORY OF RAPE. Trust me, even I wasn’t aware of what it was. I went back to Nainital.

My depression got worse. I attempted suicide thrice but in vain and then I came to know that I was 3 months pregnant. As my body was extremely weak at that time and my immune system wasn’t that strong, besides, my haemoglobin was around 5.8, so abortion wasn’t an option.

I had to undergo several medical procedures to stabilize my health and pregnancy. With time then, my daughter was born in Nainital and she was the only source of motivation for me to move forward and do something about my life but my mental health still wasn’t cured. My daughter was barely two and a half years old when I left her with my father and moved to a close town Rudrapur for work.

I worked in a bank for a year but I wasn’t satisfied there. I decided to move to Delhi where I tried my luck in different careers. Then my father decided to send me and my daughter to Canada where they were looking for a second option for my marriage.

I requested my family to give me some more time before all the formalities were completed. Nothing in my life comes easy. Not even my career. Then in 2014, I moved to the city of dreams as they call it (Mumbai) in search of the peace and tranquillity. I was searching for, and there it was all this while right in front of my eyes and I couldn’t see it, the only thing that gave me immense pleasure had always been health and fitness.

I decided to explore my career fitness industry as I was good in sports since childhood. I dedicated myself fully to accomplishing my goals. It felt as if the child inside me screamed with joy to have found it’s lost home yet again. I felt alive after many years.

Mumbai gave me one more thing. As a struggler in Mumbai with no knowledge in the fitness industry, I joined a few classes like yoga n martial arts and thereafter i joined a gym club where I met my partner, Shashank. He also belonged to Uttarakhand and we connected on commonalities and soon became great friends. He was senior to me in the industry as I was a fresher. He gave me the guidance I was lacking from so many years and showed me the path that I should follow. Our bonding became stronger with time. Thereafter, there is no stopping till date.

Soon I started competing in many private competitions and attended many fitness expos with Shashank and educated myself. Today I am an MBA graduate, an Internationally certified personal trainer, Internationally certified kettlebell, National Champion in powerlifting, Strongest Woman of India 2018, co-founder of Mountstrong Personal Fitness Studio with my partner in Dehradun, and a known woman in Nainital.

The hope that I had lost in marriage, life and relationships were alive again. My partner has been the biggest support system all this while and he has been my guiding light in true sense. Today, I am happily married to him and have settled down with him along with my daughter.

1) Please follow a very regular healthy lifestyle and fitness regime. You don’t need expensive workout gear, fancy shoes and supplements to get healthy. Basic 30 minutes of brisk walk and organic wholesome diet is enough to stay fit. Nut fruits and 5 litres plus water intake with regular workout frequency is the key to keep your organs active and boost your immunity.

2) Good health is not just the absence of diseases or illness. It’s a state of complete physical mental and social well being. This means eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercises, avoid alcohol, tobacco etc which will help prevent anxiety and depression also.

3) I believe in the strength of will power and consistency. And that’s what I say to other people as well. It has not only improved my physical strength but also my mental strength. I never imagined myself lifting weights or setting national and state records. With whatever little rollercoaster adventure my life has been since my birth I can say it with my conviction that life is never easy for anyone but we have got to take all the misfortunes with a pinch of salt and never give up on ourselves! They also say: “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.”

I will soon be representing Asia in the powerlifting category and I am looking forward to winning the world powerlifting championship in the coming year!

4) Please believe and practice the mantra of learning and growing every day of your life. I know you all are young and maybe some of you don’t have a deep appreciation and inclination towards spirituality YET. I am not too far in age from you all. YET my saviour in the darkest times was TRUST FAITH that we must never give up.

5) Last I will say is: HAVE An unshakable spirit and the power of resilience! When it comes to health and fitness, my plan is to reach out to as many young girls as I can to make them reach their potential without having to sacrifice on their happiness and make informed choices

I am sharing my story in the hope that even if one woman who’s gone through or is going through the same or even grave ordeal as I have feels inspired by my tale and can bring about a change in their lives I will be glad, all I want to say is I HAVE walked this path….and IF I CAN DO IT….SO CAN YOU. No matter what life throws at you STAY POSITIVE….GIVE your loved ones a chance to LOVE you unconditionally.

As told to the author.