GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING - Parenting beyond Stereotypes - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

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While there are no rules or guidelines for perfect parenting, everyone’s approach towards their kids is unique.

If you choose to go ahead with gender-neutral parenting, you need to understand what it is and what are the pros and cons before adopting such a parenting style.

What is Gender Neutral Parenting?

Gender-neutral parenting is the way of letting your child explore their gender without restriction from society or with the gender they were born.

In simple words, Gender-neutral Parenting is giving freedom to children to make their own choices. It’s about encouraging a child to discover their own identity by eliminating gender stereotypes.

As most of them mistake gender-neutral parenting with gender-neutral children, they are not the same. A gender-neutral approach is a parent’s valiant effort not to classify a child solely based on his/her biological sex at birth.

Why is Gender-Neutral Parenting Important?

Being born with male or female body parts does not predict one’s qualities, abilities, or preferences.

Even if you are the one who is against gender discrimination and who wants to raise your kids without gender bias, you might be unknowingly differentiating them based on their gender.

For instance, how do you feel if someone gifts a Disney princess on your son’s birthday?

What type and color of dress would you prefer to buy for your daughter on her birthday? Most probably, your choice would be a pink-colored skirt or a gown with flowers or butterflies. And if it’s a boy, you would buy a shirt and jeans or a kurta.

“We Are What We Teach – We Teach What We Are”

We live in a society where we believe that gender norms are biologically based and taught about the role of gender and their responsibilities. We live in a system where everything is gender-stereotyped. For example, while toys like dolls, princess costumes, and kitchen sets emphasize domestic care and beauty, whereas cars, action figures, and building sets emphasize spatial reasoning and aggression.

We teach our children what we are taught from our parents and elders and think that they are essential for our child’s wellbeing and happiness. So, we make our kids learn how a boy is supposed to look like and how a girl should behave.

Though the concept of gender-neutral parenting is in the nascent stage, given the prevalence of gender bias in our society, raising a child in a gender-neutral manner is much needed today.

Here are some Pros and Cons of Gender-Neutral Parenting.

Pros of Gender-Neutral Parenting

The liberty of expression and freedom of choice make your kids more creative and enhances your kid’s self-esteem and courage.
It enhances the ability of your kids to develop their interests and goals.
Erasing gender labels can help your kids discover who they are and who they want to be.
Your kid will feel free to express themselves.
It allows your child to respect people equally without any gender discrimination.
Your kids grow up with the ability to never have any gender bias or stereotype.
Gender-neutral kids are likely to make efforts to challenge and achieve gender equality both in school and in society.
Most importantly, your kid would love to be loved unconditionally and trusts you more.

Cons of Gender-Neutral Parenting

Gender stereotyping, being one of the most prevalent issues today, makes it challenging for parents to confront any gender norms and stereotypes.
Not everyone is in favor of Gender-neutral parenting. Your child may feel pressured as the community will try to push them back into their gender stereotype.
Even minute differences in caregiving can have a significant impact on them.
Children who don’t know about gender until they meet with other kids or attend school may feel confused about their gender identity that affects personal growth and development.

Welcome to the World of Gender-neutral Parenting!

Create the right environment for your kids from an early age as they learn more from our actions than words. Block the gender bias and allow your kids to explore and determine where they fall in their own time.

Let your kids live in a world where they are free to live without any gender bias and grow up with their own emotions and interests.

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How progressive have we become? How gender-neutral society were we able to build? How much equal opportunities did we give to our women?

I often chance to think about these questions whenever I stumble upon social media sites. The wrath and agitation we have shown to our women are unforgivable! From their freedom to dress to the kind of work they wish to do to even the way they dream of raising their kids — we, as a nation, as a society, have failed — by always judging them.

And if you think that my assumption is limited to small towns and villages, this story will change your perception. I bring a tale from the city of dreams — Mumbai — a tale of what judgement looks like!

As we are coming closer to the end of World Breastfeeding Week, I decided to reach out to our ordinary, regular, and invisible moms who are defying the rules they have been bound to — the rules of raising a kid, the rules of being an ideal mother and the rules of breastfeeding.

If you are one of them who has been judged for feeding their babies publicly because it was your breast you used to feed, you need to read the story of this supermom who didn’t give a damn to the blabbers!

“As a first-time parent, there are many things that you don’t know about. But there was one thing that I definitely was sure of. Breastfeeding my kid for as long as possible,” Smrity Sharma is a mother of a 4.5YO boy who decided to ignore all the gyaans coming her way.

“My Husband Encouraged Me To Breastfeeding Our Child — In Public!” — Smrity with her kid, Ayaan

Smrity is a working mom who was back to the pavilion in just four months of delivering her baby. “I had started building a stash and would pump at work and at night to ensure that the baby always had enough milk stored for the whole day while I was gone. The biggest challenge came my way when I finally decided that the baby was old enough to be taken out to cafes and restaurants and shopping. The first time, we ventured out, I pumped and took milk in a bottle to feed him while outdoors. But he refused to take the bottle with me around. I knew what my only option was, and my husband was supportive, and that’s how we started feeding in public,” she continues.

There had been instances when she got “the look” from people (all of them women), and some even had the audacity to comment or give advice. “One such advice came my way when I was at the airport waiting area, feeding my baby. He was eight months old then. The woman sitting next to me pointed out, “there is a feeding lounge that you can use.” I nodded and continued feeding right there. A few minutes later, she again said, “I think you should go to the feeding lounge. People around might be uncomfortable.” I simply smiled again. A few minutes later, she shifted to another bay. So she was the one feeling uncomfortable after all. Sometimes, the best retort is not to say anything and continue doing your thing,” Smrity smiles.

Another incident which she shared was from one of her road trips, “My friend’s wife, also a mother to a kid as old as mine, enquired about my baby food bag. She thought perhaps I had forgotten to take it. I told her that I breastfed my baby, and she gave me some gyaan about how she stopped breastfeeding since it was so hectic, inconvenient. She suggested that I stop feeding too and reclaim my life. I just smiled to end the conversation. I am not sure what milk her kid was on, but on the way, it got curdled and couldn’t be fed to the baby. The baby was crying out of hunger, and she very sheepishly requested if I could breastfeed her baby. We bonded that day, and she told me how her milk wasn’t enough, and the regular taanas from her mother and sister in law for not breastfeeding the baby made her come up with this “cooler” narrative. This just reinstated my belief in never judging what a mother does or doesn’t.”

She breastfed her boy, Ayaan, for 3.5 years and did all her work, road trips, etc. without any hindrance. Smrity is the Head of Content and Community at WittyFeed — a Journalist, with a 15-year experience in content creation. Connect with her on Instagram to listen to more of her path-breaking stories.

And while I am annoying more carefree moms to share their tales, I am also encouraging them not to give up. Dear moms, do not give up on your dreams, do not hide in the closet due to the society — be you, be what you are and show your kid the world you believe in!

#Breastfeeding is bliss. Don’t let your child be deprived of it!