GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING - Parenting beyond Stereotypes - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

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While there are no rules or guidelines for perfect parenting, everyone’s approach towards their kids is unique.

If you choose to go ahead with gender-neutral parenting, you need to understand what it is and what are the pros and cons before adopting such a parenting style.

What is Gender Neutral Parenting?

Gender-neutral parenting is the way of letting your child explore their gender without restriction from society or with the gender they were born.

In simple words, Gender-neutral Parenting is giving freedom to children to make their own choices. It’s about encouraging a child to discover their own identity by eliminating gender stereotypes.

As most of them mistake gender-neutral parenting with gender-neutral children, they are not the same. A gender-neutral approach is a parent’s valiant effort not to classify a child solely based on his/her biological sex at birth.

Why is Gender-Neutral Parenting Important?

Being born with male or female body parts does not predict one’s qualities, abilities, or preferences.

Even if you are the one who is against gender discrimination and who wants to raise your kids without gender bias, you might be unknowingly differentiating them based on their gender.

For instance, how do you feel if someone gifts a Disney princess on your son’s birthday?

What type and color of dress would you prefer to buy for your daughter on her birthday? Most probably, your choice would be a pink-colored skirt or a gown with flowers or butterflies. And if it’s a boy, you would buy a shirt and jeans or a kurta.

“We Are What We Teach – We Teach What We Are”

We live in a society where we believe that gender norms are biologically based and taught about the role of gender and their responsibilities. We live in a system where everything is gender-stereotyped. For example, while toys like dolls, princess costumes, and kitchen sets emphasize domestic care and beauty, whereas cars, action figures, and building sets emphasize spatial reasoning and aggression.

We teach our children what we are taught from our parents and elders and think that they are essential for our child’s wellbeing and happiness. So, we make our kids learn how a boy is supposed to look like and how a girl should behave.

Though the concept of gender-neutral parenting is in the nascent stage, given the prevalence of gender bias in our society, raising a child in a gender-neutral manner is much needed today.

Here are some Pros and Cons of Gender-Neutral Parenting.

Pros of Gender-Neutral Parenting

The liberty of expression and freedom of choice make your kids more creative and enhances your kid’s self-esteem and courage.
It enhances the ability of your kids to develop their interests and goals.
Erasing gender labels can help your kids discover who they are and who they want to be.
Your kid will feel free to express themselves.
It allows your child to respect people equally without any gender discrimination.
Your kids grow up with the ability to never have any gender bias or stereotype.
Gender-neutral kids are likely to make efforts to challenge and achieve gender equality both in school and in society.
Most importantly, your kid would love to be loved unconditionally and trusts you more.

Cons of Gender-Neutral Parenting

Gender stereotyping, being one of the most prevalent issues today, makes it challenging for parents to confront any gender norms and stereotypes.
Not everyone is in favor of Gender-neutral parenting. Your child may feel pressured as the community will try to push them back into their gender stereotype.
Even minute differences in caregiving can have a significant impact on them.
Children who don’t know about gender until they meet with other kids or attend school may feel confused about their gender identity that affects personal growth and development.

Welcome to the World of Gender-neutral Parenting!

Create the right environment for your kids from an early age as they learn more from our actions than words. Block the gender bias and allow your kids to explore and determine where they fall in their own time.

Let your kids live in a world where they are free to live without any gender bias and grow up with their own emotions and interests.

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The pros of working with digital platforms and writing online are that you end up remembering all the important dates, days and festivals. In case you forget a single one, twitter ensures that you find it in your trending list!

Today is daughters’ day — and I woke up with a WhatsApp text from my mum! No, I was in the house with her, but in the age of digital communication, she wanted this text to remain on my phone always. Parents, I sometimes wonder, are so naive and pure!

So this daughter’s day, I decided to publish this feature when the day ends — to make you realize that emotions and relationships don’t belong to one particular day and the stories are meant to live forever.

These daughters share one of the most beautiful parts of their lives with us — when they got into their parents’ shoes and excelled in the time of crisis — which made their parents realize that their daughter is all grown up now!

Srishti Mantri

She’s always been a mess — a beautiful and notorious one! “From being a bratty child all through junior college to barely finishing my degree, my parents always worried about how I’d sail through. But cut to now, each day as they see me handle my clients and grow every day, they smile at me and tell me every day that having a daughter was the biggest blessing in their life,” Srishti’s excitement was so evident while she shared this with me.

She asked her mother about an emotional moment which she could share with us, and the answer was — “when Srishti purchased an AC from her first salary!” And she was super emotional.

Sramana Das

Remember the times when we packed our bags and left home to explore our own ways? The excitement & feeling of living independently and the pain & emotions of leaving parents back is something we all have been through.

Sramana being the chhota bacha of the family has always been pampered the most. When she left for Pune, her parents were worried, especially her baba, but she managed everything pretty well. “I travelled alone and waited for seven hours at the airport. I learnt cooking, did every household chore, and took care of my elder sister too. Everyone used to say that ‘beti badi ho gayi’ but yes, all of these made me realize that managing a home is not easy. Hats off to you maa,” Sramana scolds her maa and baba whenever they neglect themselves. Parents often ignore their own health and well being when it comes to their kids, and that’s when Sramana becomes their mother — to remind them that nothing is more important than their well being!

Jagriti

“Jagriti was in 3rd year when she lost her mom. She has always been a bold and super confident girl, but her mother’s demise took away all her charm and happiness. She didn’t talk to anyone and barely stepped out of her room. And after a month of struggle with herself, she came into the dining area one day — called the maid, got the entire house cleaned, and prepared the breakfast and meals for her younger sister and me.

That night, while giving me my medicines, she said, ‘dad we cannot afford this anymore. Mom would hate us for making this house and our lives such a mess. She hasn’t left us yet, but I bet if the maid doesn’t come tomorrow, she will pakka run away!’ And the next moment, I was laughing my heart out with eyes full of tears.

It’s been three years since my wife left us, but my daughter managed the house and our lives so well. How could we be blessed with such a beautiful angel? She is my daughter, my friend, my guide and my mother sometimes. And I wish her in my every birth,” Jagriti’s father writes to me while her daughter books another online workshop for him.

Balaji R

When Balaji brought Pihu home for the first time, he knew that she was the one! “A sweet little naughty girl — Pihu never fails at making us ROFL through her mischievous side. She never sits silent and loves playing with me. Oh, and she loves papaya like anything! I bet even if you give her one whole papaya, she can eat it entirely at one go,” Balaji doesn’t see Pihu as a dog.

Yes, animals are family — a beautiful part of our lives. Balaji didn’t give birth to Pihu, but he would love to be her mommy forever. She is a seven months old bundle of joy and happiness without whom he cannot imagine his days now.

Sakshi

“Back in 2014, my mother suffered from cardiac arrest. I was in my first year of graduation, and she was hospitalized for around two months. Since then I have stepped up in her shoes and managed the whole household on my own,” Sakshi shares that moment when her life got upside down.

It was hard for the young Sakshi, but she did manage everything so beautifully and is still continuing that. And considering the amount of responsibilities she has been fulfilling for her family, her mother says that she has become of all her home.

Rashmi Karadalli

Rashmi’s life changed when she saw her mother in bed for more than a week. For someone like her mother, who was always active and full of energy, Rashmi couldn’t bear seeing her like this. “Vertigo made her weak — a disease which a lot of people are not aware of was making our lives difficult. My mom was very weak and always felt dizzy,” Rashmi was home for vacation at that time.

Though the maid was there to help her with all the washing and cleaning chores, she still had a lot to manage. “I used to cook with whatever knowledge I had and that was the first time when I took full responsibility for the kitchen. I used to give my mom food, tablets, and hot water whenever she needed and she recovered within a month, “ Rashmi smiles while recalling that.

But what she heard later from her mother made her proud and emotional, “my mom was telling my nani that I took care of her exactly how she used to take care of me when I was sick!”

Rakshita Khanna

Remember the times when we fight with our parents only to make them realize that everything on WhatsApp is not true and that superstitions are not meant to believe?

“I remember this was around my wedding preparations. We used to get time for shopping only on weekends, and my mom never allowed me to buy utensils or stuff on Saturdays. Every time she used to come up with such gyans, I had to give her the logic for that. I still do! My father almost signed on a property paper in a long-lost family dispute and that just didn’t make sense, but I stepped in between and made him realize that he was being cheated. Parents are definitely more experienced than us, but a part of theirs is so innocent and unaware of the frauds that we children have to act as their guardians at times,” Rakshita smiles while recalling her old memories.

Supriya Mishra

They say elder sisters are no less than a mother and I completely second that! When Supriya was in standard 12th, her parents got admitted to a hospital for almost a week because of dengue. “My brother was in standard 11th — so yes, not much younger than me. But I used to wake up early every day to make him breakfast. Then I used to wake him up, and we used to go to school. I was making lunch and dinner after coming back from school,” Supriya recalls.

Her parents were admitted in Ahmedabad, and they were in Gandhinagar, so it was difficult for them to visit their parents every day. “I used to prepare fruit juices and send other necessary stuff with my neighbours who used to visit them,” this was the time when she took the entire responsibility on her so efficiently!

A lot of people still believe that daughters are a burden, but these daughters are proving that it’s a blessing to give birth to a daughter and day is just not enough for all the love and happiness they bring with them! #ChotiChotiKhushiyaan #HappyDaughtersDay