Have you ever had your kid looking at you while kissing or snuggling with your partner? What was your immediate response to this situation? It can be of the two either your flinched and drew apart or you continued comfortably with a smile. This two reaction to the situation conveys a contrary meaning. The former suggests your discomfort with the public display of affection in front of your kids thus it’s avoidance. The latter is the evidence of leading through an example for your child.
What causes discomfort ?
Public Display of affection a.k.a PDA refers to kissing, hugging, snuggling, or showing any kind of physical affection publicly. This article entails explicitly the dynamics of PDA in front of the kids.
Why is PDA in front of kids a good thing ?
Such a weird world we live in where violence is pervasive and bloodshed wars are a norm
on the contrary showing affection through a kiss, hug, cuddle or a mere hand holding is deemed shameful and uncivilized.
This shame roots back to the idea of patriarchy, misogyny, and toxic masculinity. Where men are expected to stay emotionless thus abstaining from any show of affection while women are supposed to be bining and submissive in defiance to this socially accepted behavior that labels one as uncivilized.
Besides this, the other reason could be an experience of an abusive household and bitter relationship with parents, and exposure to extensive violence while growing up. Only violence and no love is a major factors in disrupting one’s idea about love. Such adults refrain from showing love in front of their kids. Most parents fear setting the wrong example by teaching their child a socially defined behavior through PDA.
Children learn through example. Right from the time they develop cognitive skills, they start picking behavior from their surroundings and internalize it gradually. Exposing your child to affection through PDA is the best way to provide them with a cheerful and lively environment.
PDA not only helps the parents in strengthening their bond over time but also instills confidence and a positive self-esteem in the child.
Incorporating simple acts of affection with your partner in the presence for a child proves fruitful in numerous ways. Below are listed few pros for the same..
1. Weeds out shame around love and affection
Firstly, Love needs to be perceived and preached for what it truly is. PDA is not only about physical affection but extends to warm compliments of support, appreciation, and acknowledgment for your partner. Practice acknowledging your partner for the simple acts of kindness and support. This will your child about the importance of mutual respect and appreciation in a relationship.
2. Teaches about good and bad touch
Now your body language during PDA speaks for itself. The way you hold, touch, and reckon with your partner should be gentle and kind. This will help the kid learn about the good touch. Thus, They would certainly know of a bad touch that ever sweeps across them. This also makes it the very first lesson on sex education for your kid that prepares them to understand sexuality, consent, pleasure, and other aspects of age-appropriate sex education.
3.Boosts confidence and self-esteem
A child that grows up looking up to a harmonious parental relationship decorated with acts of physical affection has more stable and positive confidence with brimming self-esteem. On the contrary, A child in an abusive household develops self-esteem issues making them socially vulnerable.
4.Feeling of security
Emanating the acts of physical affection propagates a sense of security to your child. They feel loved and emotionally stable. This also encourages them to confide in their parents instead of relying on any third party.
5.Healthy image about love
When a child grows up looking at PDA as a norm with an absolute knowledge about consent, sexuality, pleasure, and companionship. They have a healthy and positive approach to their own relationship. They would certainly know what to look for in a partner.
PDA is not only beneficial for the preaching purpose to your kid but also has myriad benefits for you and your partner. It develops compatibility, compassion, and understanding in the relationship. There is indeed a fun fact that states- PDA stimulates the release of oxytocin a hormone also called ‘cuddle hormone’ or ‘feel good hormone’ produced by the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland and that is how PDA makes your relationship age like a fine wine.
Now, you may not feel like staging a full-blown PDA act in front of your kids every day. That is absolutely okay the rule is simple do not put a forced show of affection just to teach your kid about love and similarly do not flinch while you are actually amidst the affectionate moment with your partner in your child’s presence to the stretch o your and child’s comfort.
To read more such article, Click