Breastfeeding: A Site Of Objectification?

Highlights

Are public spaces accessible to breastfeeding mothers?

A lactating mother felt ‘uncomfortable’ breastfeeding her child in public.

Uncomfortable, embarrassed, vulnerable! But why is it a site of objectification?

It is rare to find nursing rooms in public spaces where a woman can breastfeed.

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“Next station is Rajiv Chowk. Change here for the blue line. Doors will open on the right. Please mind the gap.”

It was during one of my morning metro rides. As soon as the door of the metro closed, a woman came running from the general coach. She seemed in a hurry. But more than her swing of motion toward the moving train, what caught everyone’s attention was her little baby draped in her dupatta crying his throat out.

She came to the women’s coach and sat next to me. And started breastfeeding her child instantaneously. The crying voice ceased just seconds after. Well, she answered the unasked questions pointed to her with many women gazing at her. She said, “I felt uncomfortable there” and smiled.

Breastfeeding In Public Is Uncomfortable

She felt uncomfortable about doing nothing more than feeding her baby.

Uncomfortable, embarrassed, vulnerable! Breastfeeding in public is a barrier to breastfeeding in general. But why is it a site of objectification? How society perceives the act of breastfeeding is a question of concern.

The Infant and Young Child Feeding Guidelines 2016 (IYCFG, drafted by the Indian Academy of Pediatrics (Indian Pediatrics 2016) states:

“Nursing in Public (NIP): Mothers should feel comfortable to nurse in public. All efforts should be taken to remove hurdles impeding breastfeeding in public places. Special areas/rooms shall be identified/ constructed or established in places like bus stands, railway stations, airports, etc.”

Public places are immensely crowded, with people pushing each other, being stared at, and harassed. This ordeal doesn’t have much comfort to offer. In addition, it is rare to find nursing rooms in public spaces where a woman can breastfeed her child without the stares of objectification.

From a woman being mocked by a fellow employee in Kolkata for breastfeeding her child in the office to a magazine receiving flak for featuring a model posing like she was breastfeeding – it is unfortunate and illogically unsettling how so many people still consider breastfeeding a stigma and view the process as mere sexualization, exclusive for gaze.

There are no laws in India that prohibit breastfeeding in public. However, the environment is not conducive to a breastfeeding mother either in a metro or at the workplace?

This raises concerns about the social conditioning and unavailability of proper infrastructure in public spaces, including malls, metro stations, railway stations, bus terminals, airports for breastfeeding mothers.

The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. The WHO also states within its guidelines:

Men Stare, So Do Women

The scorn of society is not the sole reason for the barrier in breastfeeding in public spaces. Lack of hygiene, no facilities of nursing rooms are among the other reasons which make the environment far from encouraging to protect the right of a child to be breastfed irrespective of where they are.

Michelle Branch, an American singer, recently took to her social media after getting flak by another mother for breastfeeding in public. Branch wrote, “I am in shock that this kind of judgment was coming from a fellow mom!”

I just got shamed by another mother (who was holding her own young infant!) for nursing my 6 week old baby on a bench at a playground while my toddler was playing 🤯 She said I wasn’t “being modest” I am in shock that this kind of judgement was coming from a fellow mom!
— Michelle Branch (@michellebranch) March 15, 2022

Well, it is ironic that you’ll find a smoking room around different public spaces, but rarely you would find a nursing room to breastfeed a child.

The concerning thing is the fact, in 2022, women aren’t able to enjoy the freedom to breastfeed in peace. The possibility of being stared at, photographed, and harassed grips the basic fact of life.

According to the survey conducted by Mompresso.com, a user-generated platform for Moms, 93% of lactating mothers feel uncomfortable in public because of a lack of breastfeeding facilities.

No Space For Breastfeeding In Public

Shaili (name changed), a resident of Delhi, says, “I felt extremely uncomfortable breastfeeding in public during the first few months. I was directed to the washroom. We wouldn’t want to eat in a freaking public toilet, so why do many think it’s okay to tell a mother to breastfeed their child in a stinking toilet where they themselves wouldn’t eat?”

Pallavee, an IT professional with a leading firm in Gurugram, says, “I have breastfed my child in public parks, toilets, malls, restaurants, and trains. I was nervous when I had to nurse in public, surrounded by glares. I will never understand why breastfeeding in public is shamed upon. There are no places where I can breastfeed peacefully. I gotta feed my baby.”

“I do not attract anyone’s gaze while I breastfeed my child,” said one respondent.

As of now, there is no law in the country which mandates public spaces to have lactation rooms. If metro stations had a nursing room, we, as a society, normalize breastfeeding and not stare when a woman breast-feeds. It could have enabled that lady on the train and many more like her to take care of her infant without panicking and rushing to avoid the stares of objectification.

We need society and laws to build a more empowering and accessible environment for lactating mothers and build necessary infrastructure which is clean and safe for a mother to breastfeed their child.

Let’s Support Nursing Mothers!

Larissa Waters, an Australian MP, made international headlines in 2017 when she breastfed her 14-week-old baby while addressing the nation’s parliament. Her gesture is a clear representation of how rarely there have been talks about breastfeeding in public.

Larissa Waters, Australian senator, breastfeeding her baby, while addressing the Parliament.
*_{Source: YouTube screengrab}*

Babies need to be fed. Let’s be more empathetic and make it better for them without making them feel unnerved. The feeling of humankind should incite compassion and not oppose or associate accusations of indecency with breastfeeding.

Instead of misogynistic attempts to shame the natural act of feeding babies, let’s ensure to normalize the gaze with which the society views the act of breastfeeding and work on providing well maintained accessible for all spaces, free from intrusion at workplaces, malls, metro stations, railway stations and other public spaces for women to nurse their children without the fear of public glare.

Let’s ensure no lactating mother gets directed towards the toilet to feed their babies. Let’s not objectify a mother’s choice – the next time!

Also Read: Placenta: The Life Supporting Organ

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How progressive have we become? How gender-neutral society were we able to build? How much equal opportunities did we give to our women?

I often chance to think about these questions whenever I stumble upon social media sites. The wrath and agitation we have shown to our women are unforgivable! From their freedom to dress to the kind of work they wish to do to even the way they dream of raising their kids — we, as a nation, as a society, have failed — by always judging them.

And if you think that my assumption is limited to small towns and villages, this story will change your perception. I bring a tale from the city of dreams — Mumbai — a tale of what judgement looks like!

As we are coming closer to the end of World Breastfeeding Week, I decided to reach out to our ordinary, regular, and invisible moms who are defying the rules they have been bound to — the rules of raising a kid, the rules of being an ideal mother and the rules of breastfeeding.

If you are one of them who has been judged for feeding their babies publicly because it was your breast you used to feed, you need to read the story of this supermom who didn’t give a damn to the blabbers!

“As a first-time parent, there are many things that you don’t know about. But there was one thing that I definitely was sure of. Breastfeeding my kid for as long as possible,” Smrity Sharma is a mother of a 4.5YO boy who decided to ignore all the gyaans coming her way.

“My Husband Encouraged Me To Breastfeeding Our Child — In Public!” — Smrity with her kid, Ayaan

Smrity is a working mom who was back to the pavilion in just four months of delivering her baby. “I had started building a stash and would pump at work and at night to ensure that the baby always had enough milk stored for the whole day while I was gone. The biggest challenge came my way when I finally decided that the baby was old enough to be taken out to cafes and restaurants and shopping. The first time, we ventured out, I pumped and took milk in a bottle to feed him while outdoors. But he refused to take the bottle with me around. I knew what my only option was, and my husband was supportive, and that’s how we started feeding in public,” she continues.

There had been instances when she got “the look” from people (all of them women), and some even had the audacity to comment or give advice. “One such advice came my way when I was at the airport waiting area, feeding my baby. He was eight months old then. The woman sitting next to me pointed out, “there is a feeding lounge that you can use.” I nodded and continued feeding right there. A few minutes later, she again said, “I think you should go to the feeding lounge. People around might be uncomfortable.” I simply smiled again. A few minutes later, she shifted to another bay. So she was the one feeling uncomfortable after all. Sometimes, the best retort is not to say anything and continue doing your thing,” Smrity smiles.

Another incident which she shared was from one of her road trips, “My friend’s wife, also a mother to a kid as old as mine, enquired about my baby food bag. She thought perhaps I had forgotten to take it. I told her that I breastfed my baby, and she gave me some gyaan about how she stopped breastfeeding since it was so hectic, inconvenient. She suggested that I stop feeding too and reclaim my life. I just smiled to end the conversation. I am not sure what milk her kid was on, but on the way, it got curdled and couldn’t be fed to the baby. The baby was crying out of hunger, and she very sheepishly requested if I could breastfeed her baby. We bonded that day, and she told me how her milk wasn’t enough, and the regular taanas from her mother and sister in law for not breastfeeding the baby made her come up with this “cooler” narrative. This just reinstated my belief in never judging what a mother does or doesn’t.”

She breastfed her boy, Ayaan, for 3.5 years and did all her work, road trips, etc. without any hindrance. Smrity is the Head of Content and Community at WittyFeed — a Journalist, with a 15-year experience in content creation. Connect with her on Instagram to listen to more of her path-breaking stories.

And while I am annoying more carefree moms to share their tales, I am also encouraging them not to give up. Dear moms, do not give up on your dreams, do not hide in the closet due to the society — be you, be what you are and show your kid the world you believe in!

#Breastfeeding is bliss. Don’t let your child be deprived of it!