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Mansplaining

Written By: Infano
January 30, 2021

Highlights

  • A relatively new word, but has existed since ages
  • What causes men to “mansplain”?
  • Should Women react to Mansplaining?
  • Quick Read
  • Full Read

Rhea was driving back with her husband on the way back from a party at their friend’s house a few kilometers away. Raj was sitting beside her and offering driving tips – “The traffic light is turning red. STOP!”,” Slow down; you are approaching the junction”. To top it all, when they neared home he said, “Straight and on the right”. For God’s sake, that’s been their home for the past five years and Rhea drives to work and back home alone almost every day.

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Rhea was driving back with her husband on the way back from a party at their friend’s house a few kilometers away. Raj was sitting beside her and offering driving tips – “The traffic light is turning red. STOP!”,” Slow down; you are approaching the junction”. To top it all, when they neared home he said, “Straight and on the right”. For God’s sake, that’s been their home for the past five years and Rhea drives to work and back home alone almost every day.

Sapna was watching a cricket match with her boyfriend on a Saturday evening. In response to a target of 230 runs, our team was 205/8 in 48 overs. This was the opportunity that Anil took to explain to me how the game is poised right now and that we needed to make 25 runs in 12 balls to win. Sapna had been watching cricket since her childhood.In fact, Sapna and Anil had together watched many games in the past!

On a coffee break with the colleagues at work, the topic of conversation was about labour pains and child-birth. Saurav was telling Gunjan that child birth was not that difficult because women earlier used to work in their homes and fields right after child-birth. Gunjan had just joined back after her maternity leave and had gone through 18 hours of labour during child-birth, which left her exhausted for weeks.

The girl gang was discussing periods and menstrual cramps in the college canteen. Simran’s boyfriend announced that menstrual pain is all in the mind. If you do not think about it, it’s not going to hurt. Really? Simran twitches in pain every month.

These incidents or similar ones are very common among men and we have a term to describe it – Mansplaining.

A relatively new word, but has existed since ages

The term “Mansplaining” can be credited to Rebecca Solnit who in her 2008 essay called “Men Explain Things to Me: Facts Didn’t Get in Their Way”, recounted the time a man explained a book to her without acknowledging that she herself wrote it. Solnit did not use the word mansplaining in the essay, just explained the concept. Over the years the term was picked up and popularised by feminists across the world to explain the common frustrating occurrences in daily life that Solnit describes as “something every woman knows”.

Mansplaining is a combination of ‘man’ and ‘explaining’. The Oxford English Dictionary describes mansplaining as “(of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing”. Mansplaining, in simple words, can be described as “the practice of a man explaining something to a woman in a way that shows he thinks he knows and understands more than she does.”

What causes men to “mansplain”?

Mansplaining may not appear to be a very big problem. It can easily be brushed off as funny, sometimes annoying and sometimes boring. But it points out a much deep-rooted problem in the society – the presumption that a woman will be less knowledgeable, less competent and somehow in need of a man to explain things to her. “Helping out” a woman comes naturally to men because our patriarchal society has embedded in them the feeling that they are superior to women and they need to care of them. 

Does this affect a woman? Of course, it does. The constant interruptions and unsolicited suggestions, as Ms. Solnit notes, “crushes young women into silence” by telling them “that this is not their world.” She adds, “It trains us in self-doubt and self-limitation just as it exercises men’s unsupported overconfidence.”

Should Women react to Mansplaining?                  

Girls are taught since childhood to act pleasant, be polite and to not embarrass men. They are expected to be a pleasant audience when a man is talking and not to interrupt it. The reverse however, does not hold true. Women in several areas of life tend to play down their achievements or knowledge so that they do not hurt a man’s ego. When a woman objects to mansplaining, it is usually perceived as being rude and lacking appreciation. It is unacceptable because it is seen as an attempt to change the society hierarchy which confers the man as the default authority in a conversation. This society hierarchy has to change. Women should proudly accept and celebrate their success and achievements, just like men. Women should be able to voice their thoughts and opinions, likes and dislikes, just like men. Women should be treated and accepted as equals. So, women definitely need to speak up against unwarranted mansplaining, because as they say,

“You can forgive them for their ignorance, you can’t for their arrogance.”

They do not even know they are mansplaining

Many times, men do not even realize that they are “mansplaining” and do not do it on purpose. Their intention, in many cases, may not be to demean a woman.  A tweet by Kim Goodwin went viral a couple of years back, where she created a simple flow chart for her male colleagues who wished to understand if their behaviour could be classified as mansplaining. This can also be a handy reference to women who are told by men that their intention was only to “help” and “improve” them in an attempt to defend mansplaining and to men who just do not realize it.

(Credit: Kim Goodwin)

I have had more than one male colleague sincerely ask whether a certain behavior is mansplaining. Since apparently this is hard to figure out, I made one of them a chart. pic.twitter.com/7DZ1RTrB3R

— Kim Goodwin (@kimgoodwin) July 19, 2018

Is this too trivial to address?

Compared to the many other issues prevalent in the society, Mansplaining might seem not too serious. But it’s the small changes in our outlook that will help create a gender-equal society in the future. That’s our hope and dream, isn’t it?

arrogancebehaviourdominatemansplainingoverconfidenceunpleasant

Infano

Infano is a platform that aims to impact every facet of a woman's life - health, career, motherhood, lifestyle, and much more. We are a team of like-minded individuals who wish to be a support to women from all walks of life and in everything they do. Our aim, through our posts and articles, is to bring to light the issues and problems that women face in their day-to-day life, to try and make their life a little easier and a little better, provide the latest news updates of women around the world, and to highlight their big and small achievements. We celebrate womanhood each and every day.

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Here is all you needed to know about the POCSO Act

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin
January 26, 2021 | 12:24 PM |
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POCSO: The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences (POCSO) Act, is a comprehensive law to provide for the protection of children (below 18 years) from the offences of sexual assault, sexual harassment and pornography by incorporating child-friendly mechanisms for reporting, recording of evidence, investigation and speedy trial of offences through designated Special Courts.

The Act has come into force with effect from 14th November, 2012 along with the Rules framed there under.

It defines different forms of sexual abuse, including penetrative and non-penetrative assault, as well as sexual harassment and pornography,

A sexual assault is considered to be “aggravated” under certain circumstances, such as when the abused child is mentally ill or when the abuse is committed by a person in a position of trust or authority vis-à-vis the child, like a family member, police officer, teacher, or doctor. People who traffic children for sexual purposes are also punishable under the provisions relating to abetment.

It prescribes stringent punishment graded as per the gravity of the offence, with a maximum term of rigorous imprisonment for life, and fine. It provides for mandatory reporting of sexual offences so it is a legal duty upon a person who has knowledge that a child has been sexually abused to report the offence; failure to do so may cause a six months‟ imprisonment and/ or a fine.

The police take role of child protectors during the investigative process. and are given the responsibility of making urgent arrangements for the care and protection of the child, such as obtaining emergency medical treatment for the child and placing the child in a shelter home, should the need arise. They are required to bring the matter to the attention of the Child Welfare Committee (CWC) within 24 hours of receiving the report, so the CWC may then proceed where required to make further arrangements for the safety and security of the child.

As per the Act

  • The medical examination of the child should be conducted with least distress and in the presence of the parent or other person whom the child trusts, and in the case of a female child, by a female doctor.
  • The Special Courts should conduct the trial in-camera and without revealing the identity of the child, in a child-friendly manner with a trusted guardian present.  
  • The child is not to be called repeatedly to testify in court and may testify through video-link rather than in a courtroom.
  • Act stipulates that a case of child sexual abuse must be disposed of within one year from the date the offence is reported.
  • The Special Court can  determine the amount of compensation to be paid to a child who has been sexually abused, so that this money can then be used for the child‟s medical treatment and rehabilitation.

Children who have been sexually abused are not only traumatised as a result of their experience, but are also more vulnerable to further and repeated abuse and at risk of secondary victimization at the hands of the justice delivery process.

A common example is the handling of cases of child victims by unspecialized police, prosecutors and judges who are not trained in justice for children, children’s rights or how to deal and communicate with victim children and their families.

The lack of clear guidelines and procedures on how to deal with child victims and their families in a child – sensitive manner during the court process affects the quality of trial and evidence and trial process; the child is subjected in such cases to repeated probing and questioning, made to relive the traumatic incident again and again, and thereby suffer in the retelling.

The victims also do not receiving proper medical support and counselling, causing physical and mental distress to the child and his/her family and hampering the healing process for the child. In addition to this, families and child victims are unable to benefit from legal aid as the appropriate agencies are not involved at the right stage in the procedure.

Child victims do not receive timely advice and assistance so as to be free from a fear of family breakdowns and social isolation if the offender is a relative and/or the breadwinner of the family. There is also no system of supervision for checking the welfare and well-being of child victims during and after the court process, particularly when the abuser is the parent or guardian of the child.

The prevention of child sexual abuse, protection of victims, justice delivery, and rehabilitation of victims are not isolated issues. The achievement of these objectives requires a co-ordinated response of all the key players, which include the police, prosecution, Courts, medical institutions, psychologists and counsellors, as well as institutions that provide social services to the children.

Source: https://wcd.nic.in/sites/default/files/POCSO-ModelGuidelines.pdf

child abusechild protection actPCOSsexual abusesexual harassmentsexual safetyshame

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.

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