My story of molestation | Every Indian girl's story - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

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I was 23 when a random guy randomly passed lewd remarks on what I was wearing and in the fit of sheer rage, I ran across the platform giving him a tough run of his life.

Let us rewind a bit. Yes, this is the same old molestation story that you get to hear from almost every girl you know. It is sad and equally shameful.

I was in 3rd standard when a guy in my building decided to take advantage of me. Those 5 minutes of him touching me inappropriately haunt me to date. I was scared, I didn’t tell anyone but over the period my anger for the fact that I didn’t react grew.

Fast forward, now I was 18. A college-going student who can raise voice and has read enough about self-defence! I was walking towards the station minding my own business and a random guy, decided to pinch my butt.

It was quick and left me numb for minutes altogether. I turned around and a thin person walked by like nothing happened. I did not react once again. I was furious but I had no guts to react. I kept letting myself down always for keeping quiet and being too numb to react.

A few years later, when I was in an auto the passenger behind me, decided to touch me again. I was paralysed the moment I realised that what he was doing was not an accident of any sort!

But, this time – I was not just me.

I was the little girl who was mad at being scared, I was also the 18 years old college student who was too frozen to react. This time, I shouted. He ran away. This was not enough, but it was something.

My recent encounter with molestation was when I was 23, I am 25 now. This person on the platform passed a remark and he thought I will ignore it. To my surprise, I ran behind him until I could. The entire stretch of the platform witnessed me running but I didn’t just want to catch him – I wanted to catch the boy who molested me at the age of 9, the man who pinched me, the man wo touched me wrongly. Losing my temper, and hurling abuses – not caring what I was wearing I created a scene on the platform.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t catch hold of the guy but am sure he would not do it again. All these years, the anger that stayed with me of not reacting and letting men randomly decide what they wish to do kept inflicting my soul until the day when I finally reacted.

Here is what I want to tell everyone who is reading this irrespective of whether you are a male or a female –

Whenever you are in an auto/bus/metro check your fellow passenger – Check if the female around you is getting uncomfortable. Check if someone is harassing her.

Do not shut up – shout! As loudly as you can! Hit that person if at all needed. Let people know what that person did. People tend to assume that you are hurling abuses or running behind a person because he or she must have stolen something.

Catch the perpetrator – If you see a girl running behind a harasser, help her out to catch that person. It is simple but more often than not, the crowd doesn’t know what to react to.

Let the harasser know that you know – ALWAYS REACT! Shout, beat or make eye contact but always let the harasser know that you know. Remember, if you let him go this time, he will do it with some else.

On the station when I lost my mind, I was going through a bad time dealing with Prianka Reddy’s case and it didn’t even shock me to think that tomorrow it could be me or my sister! I decided not to keep mum this time and freaking react. We have gotten used to this so much that, we are often told reacting on a lewd remark is not something that we should do on regular basis!

But you know what, REACT. ALWAYS REACT!

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You know that you are living in a messed up country when a state’s Chief Minister who says, “I feel that the marriage age of daughters should be increased from 18 to 21 years”, also says, “A new system will be used to safeguard working women, under which any woman moving out of her house for her work will register herself at the local police station, and she will be tracked for her safety”.

Main roun ya hasun, karun main kya karun?

While I contemplate if I should laugh or cry, I realize that a surprise reaction is now normal for us as women of this country. How is this a solution, I wonder? Instead of coming up with a system to track harassers, molesters and rape accused, here the onus is again on the woman to sacrifice her liberty, privacy, and her fundamental rights of basic existence to protect herself.

As women continue to pave their way with struggles and difficulties in a man’s world, and while the men in authority struggle to find ways to curb crimes against women, the easiest solution they have found is to cage women. Not just now. Every time. How easy right?!

The idea of always monitoring women, snatching their liberty and privacy is an easier solution than questioning the incapacity of the police to do their jobs. Instead, a system is devised to track working women, just like how animals are fitted with a tracking system or devices with a GPS. This is nothing but an apparatus to make us women conform all the more than we already were.

Being eve teased? Don’t wear provocative clothes.

Getting raped? Don’t go out at night.

Men will be men, they will commit crimes and rapes.

You just need to be more careful as a woman.

Because men can’t keep it in their pants or control their provocative gaze at lady parts, let’s just ask women to cover up themselves, no matter the comfort level or the weather conditions. That way we men won’t get tempted to look at them.

And when women question this we will objectify them by equating them candies and precious stones which need to be covered or protected.

In a country where we already have it hard to live a free life as a woman, think what will happen if this system comes into place?

Imagine these scenarios:

· If a woman refuses to get tracked and later gets harassed, she will be held responsible.

· Moral policing will happen based on where they go, what they do.

· As always, it will be easy to blame women for any untoward incidents because “she meets so many men, goes to clubs, drinks,” etc.

· Parents and husbands will bribe police officers and to monitor their daughters and wives.

Men in authority have mansplained women’s roles to suit their agenda. I really want to know why women are not involved in such decision-making? Oh wait, they are! Remember how a senior member of the National Commission for Women (NCW) suggested, “Women should avoid going out after dark,” after a 50-year-old Anganwadi worker was allegedly gang-raped in a temple, brutalized and killed the village in UP’s Badaun? She even said that this incident wouldn’t have occurred had a male member accompanied her.

Are you laughing or crying now? Wait, here are a few other times politicians have made some bizarre statements that continue to attack basic human rights:

· Boys will be boys, they commit mistakes- Samajwadi Party supremo

· Two men raping a woman cannot be termed as gang rape- Former Karnataka Home Minister

· If a woman is caught (in a rape case), then both she and the boy should be punished- SP’s State President

· Best way to curb India’s population growth is to provide electricity to Indian villages so that couples spend their time watching TV instead of procreating and increasing the population- Former Health and Family Welfare Minister

· Crimes against women won’t happen in “Bharat” or the rural areas of the country. You go to villages and forests of the country and there will be no such incidents of gang-rape or sex crimes- RSS Chief

· Women shouldn’t participate in protests- Chief Justice

· Hindu women shouldn’t do interfaith marriage- UP CM

· Women should just be housewives- RSS Chief

· Girls can reproduce at 15, so why should their marital age be increased from 18 to 21?- MP Congress Leader

Shocked yet? Let me tell you one more.

Daniel Shravan, a filmmaker, had suggested that every woman should carry a condom at a rapist’s disposal so that they can offer them a hassle-free experience. He also took to Facebook (the post has now been deleted) where he posted a number of messages where he proposed a “rape without violence” scheme which will at least assure women that they will not die. This was after the December 2019 Hyderabad’s vet doctor’s rape and murder.

This is the mentality of many. They refuse to see the problem and when they do, they try to shift blame or come up with convenient, easy solutions that benefit the perpetrator instead of the victim. And if they are people in power, the solution should be one that makes their work easier.

Also Read https://infano.care/domestic-violence-cases-see-no-end/