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India’s Inherent Misogyny: How Sonia Gandhi Was Ridiculed As A Bar Dancer!

Written By: Sonali
December 11, 2020
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December 9 was the birthday of Sonia Gandhi, President of Indian National Congress, and the hashtag #BarDancerDay was once again trending on our Twitter timelines.

And before I proceed, let me clarify that this was not the first time when the 74YO politician was derogated, both by her rivalries and the common countrymen!

The entire Twitter was blown up with derogatory memes and insulting jokes about Sonia Gandhi’s alleged career as a bar dancer in Italy before meeting Rajeev Gandhi and moving to India. The hashtag #BarDancerDay got so viral that even a Google search on ‘Italian bar dancer’ and ‘bar dancer of Italy in India’ started showing Sonia Gandhi in the featured section.

SONIA GANDHI AFTER WATCHING THIS TREND 😀😀😀😀 #BarDancer pic.twitter.com/GoxpBSg0fC

— कटर हिन्दू (@Anshuvirdhi1) April 23, 2020

But just for the purpose of clarification, Sonia Gandhi was born and brought up in Italy, and she did work as a bartender, not a bar dancer, in an Italian restaurant during her college days to manage her expenses.

But who am I to play jury to the authenticity of any of these claims or everything else the politician has been accused of so far; but the kind of reaction invoked by these hashtags and arguments is appalling, to say the least.

For everyone, who wish for a society to be equal and respectful to every person, despite the class, caste, gender or profession, this was nothing less than daylight torture as the Twitterattis were using the profession of bar dancer as abuse and insult to defame a woman.

I totally Condemn these #अंतरराष्ट्रीय_बार_डांसर_दिवस#BarDancerDay

Rather #KnowYourSonia
Feat. Dr. @Swamy39 ji
Link: https://t.co/7g4Bu5vAP4 pic.twitter.com/queMuacaPr

— Worshipping Peace (@Hinduismispeace) December 9, 2020

The misogyny existing in our Indian society is not something new that you would witness — people in our society are so grossly sexist that it hurts every time you think about it. And this incident proves that it’s not only men but also women who carry the ounce of misogyny in them.

The kind of comments made for the president of INC make you question yourself — that is this the new futuristic India they were planning? Or if we are really living in 2020? Weren’t we supposed to figure out the unemployment issues and the slow down the adverse climate change affect?

The saddest part about this whole incident is that the profession ‘bar dancer’ is being used as an insult to women — as if the women who work in bars and restaurants are filthy and do not deserve the right to live the same way as we do! And the set of men making such comments and insulting Gandhi using the term ‘bar dancer’ are exactly the same set of men who would go out to ‘ such places’, make these women feel inferior, calls them out unsanskari and yet seek enjoyment out of it!!

Sonia’s picture morphed on Marilyn Monroe (Source: Hoax or fact)

And let’s not forget the ever-increasing crime rate against women in our country; reminding us every second that the crime mindsets are just residing among us, probably making another derogatory comment against some woman on Twitter.

By mocking and insulting Sonia Gandhi for just working in a bar, millions of people have intentionally or unintentionally mocked and insulted thousands of those women who works in bars/ restaurants/ clubs to make their ends meet. This incident is a reflection of misogyny — the fact that how our society has evolved as ‘open-minded, modern, yet insensible and misogynistic’ and how far it can go just for the sake of bashing the political rivals.

There were ways to call someone out — one can argue, insult or debate in many respectful ways, a concept that our society is far from — but when it’s a woman at the receiving end of criticism, we forget our lihaaj and limits.

I guess it’s high time (no that high time has been here since forever) that we let go of this selective approach of respecting women and leave any form of prejudice behind. It doesn’t really take a lot to have basic human decency and respect for women (any gender, in fact) and it’s time that we should start practicing it.

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Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out!

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Do Homemakers Need to Be Paid For Their Work?

Written By: Infano
January 8, 2021 | 01:51 PM |
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Actor Kamal Haasan has now forayed into politics after floating his political party Makkal Needhi Maiam’s (MNM). A couple of days back when releasing the party’s portfolio Haasan promised payment to homemakers — along with computers with high-speed internet to all households and transformation of farmers to agri-entrepreneurs — if his party is voted to power in the 2021 Tamil Nadu assembly elections.

Senior Congress leader Shashi Tharoor supported this proposal of paying homemakers and took to Twitter to hail this initiative

“I welcome @ikamalhaasan’s idea of recognising housework as a salaried profession, w/the state government paying a monthly wage to homemakers. This will recognise and monetise the services of women homemakers in society, enhance their power and autonomy and create near-universal basic income.”

A New Concept

This is a very new concept that hasn’t been talked about much in our society. It brought many questions to my mind – How? Is it even possible? Is it right?

A picture that had gone viral a few months back on being on the cover of cover of Kerala’s Gender Budget 2020 flashed through my mind. It was a painting by a 10-year artist, Anujath Sindhu Vinaylal showing the daily chores of his mother and the mothers in his neighbourhood.

A homemaker, especially in a patriarchal society like ours, takes care of so many things around the house. She is considered the primary responsible person for cooking, cleaning, shopping, caring for the elders, her kids’ upbringing, her husband’s needs and happiness. The list is endless.

Most of the time, all these responsibilities aren’t officially handed over to or taken up voluntarily by the woman. It is almost an unsaid understanding that the moment a woman gets married into the family, these tasks just become her duty. The expectations are obviously way higher if the woman does not have a profession and does not go out to work.

If you don’t realize your worth, no one else will

The fact remains that for most of the homemakers, life is not very easy. Earning money is still considered the most important contribution to the functioning of a family. This thought shapes the way the family and the society views the role of a homemaker – as secondary and less important compared to the one who “provides” for the family. There is very minimal to no acceptance or acknowledgement of the time and effort a homemaker puts in to make lives smoother to all around her.

Infact, a homemaker has to prove her worth by playing several roles and taking up several responsibilities. It would not be very surprising to hear, ‘Ghar par hi tho thi poore din’, being said to her, in case she voices her fatigue after a day’s work occasionally. But what is most disheartening is that many times the woman herself does not value the hard work she puts in and plays down her role in the family. 

Love can’t be measured with money

Shashi Tharoor’s tweet in support of homemakers getting paid drew reaction from many people. One of the notable reactions came from actress Kangana Ranaut, who is fiercely independent and known to speak her mind.

Replying to Shashi Tharoor’s tweet, Kangana said, “Don’t put a price tag on sex we have with our love, don’t pay us for mothering our own, we don’t need salary for being the Queens of our own little kingdom our home, stop seeing everything as business. Surrender to your woman she needs all of you not just your love/respect/salary.”

A woman has been blessed to be affectionate, caring, and sacrificing. A mother’s love is incomparable to anything else. When we talk about paying homemakers, are we guilty of trying to put a price on all these emotions. Is it even possible to appraise all the small and big things a homemaker does through the day? It does not even seem possible to imagine a homemaker doing her chores for the money, and not the love and care for the family.

What’s right, what’s wrong? Is there even a right or a wrong?

We may have several other questions in our minds regarding this –

Will getting paid for house work give it the same level of dignity as any other salaried job?

Will it help reduce the sense of patriarchy that we see around us?

Will it help a woman feel more worthy of herself?  

Is money the ideal way to acknowledge and appreciate a homemaker’s efforts?

Will we ever become a society where a homemaker can proudly say – ‘I am a homemaker’?

Let this be a start for us to do some thinking. There may be many opinions and many suggestions. But there should be no doubt that homemakers need to be celebrated for all that they do. Homemakers play as much an important role in society as others and it is about time we acknowledge this. What would be the ideal way to do this – give them respect and acknowledgement or payment or both? That’s still up for discussion.

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Infano

Infano is a platform that aims to impact every facet of a woman's life - health, career, motherhood, lifestyle, and much more. We are a team of like-minded individuals who wish to be a support to women from all walks of life and in everything they do. Our aim, through our posts and articles, is to bring to light the issues and problems that women face in their day-to-day life, to try and make their life a little easier and a little better, provide the latest news updates of women around the world, and to highlight their big and small achievements. We celebrate womanhood each and every day.

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