Mirror Mirror On The Wall, Does It Matter Who Is The Fairest Of Them All?

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As a kid my parents showered me with love. They would even shut anyone up mentioning to them,
“Tumhara gorapan nahi mila hai tumhari beti ko” or “Naak-naksha sahi hai beti ka, but rang thoda saawla hai”. The constant hush-hush comments on my skin-tone did affect me and my Mom knew this. She always told me that such shallow thoughts are just of a few people out there. The world outside is beautiful and I, being really small, believed it.

The next few years of school came as a shocker to me. In a crowd of unknown faces, if we students had to team up as partners – be it even for sharing the same bench, I would almost be the last one to be chosen by someone. It was as if there was almost a prejudice in everyone’s mind about dark-skinned people, almost like they could not relate to me.

God forbid I had an argument with any of my class-mates, it would always come down to saying things that hurt me most – calling me an African or Kaali or Raat-rani. And the sad part is that this was not limited to the young kids. Knowingly or unknowingly, the same reflected in the actions of a few teachers as well. I remember sobbing and telling my teacher that I was called ‘Amasvya ka Chand’ by one of my classmates. The first reaction that I got from her was a chuckle, almost an appreciation for the good analogy. And the saddest part was that she did not even realize how much that hurt me.

Then there was a selection for the annual year drama. Almost every year, when announcing the criteria for selection of the female lead, be it a Romeo and Juliet or Pride and Prejudice, the teacher always asked the fairest, prettiest girls to try out for the part. The dark-skinned ones did not even stand a chance, no matter how well their acting or speaking was. There were countless such instances – be it representing the school for events, being the Head Girl – the preference enjoyed by the fair-skinned counterpart, just marginal in some cases, always did exist.

It took a lot of support from family, some counseling, and a lot of will-power, to have the confidence, that whatever preconceived notions people I meet may have based on my color, I can change it once they get to know me. And today I am an independent, happy person, surrounded by family, friends, and colleagues that swear by me.

But not everyone may have that kind of support, not everyone would share their feelings with someone, not everyone may be that strong. I am lucky – not everyone is. Some may suffer from an inferiority complex that starts from school and stays all through their lifetime. Some may go into a shell, and never want to come out. It’s up to us to start the change to stop discriminating based on skin colour. Every skin colour is beautiful. It’s what inside you, that makes you beautiful, not the colour of your skin.

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Disclaimer: This news story is not just a new coverage but a slap on our society’s face and a reminder to us that we NEED to stand up together and fight the evil!!

While the Indian government is still in the dilemma of whether sex education should be a part of the Indian Education System or not, another appalling incident of Nagaur district of Rajasthan came into light, where a 14-year-old minor girl has reportedly given birth to a child on the night of December 13, 2020. In the wake of this incident, four people have been booked for the charges of rape, which includes the minor’s brother.

“The girl is 14 and unmarried. The matter came to light when the girl and her family reached the Zanana Hospital in Ajmer on Sunday, where the doctors, after safely delivering her baby, informed us that the mother is a minor,” said Narotam Singh, station house officer, Padukalan police station.

“The minor, along with her child, is under police and medical supervision. Based on the statements of her family, her brother and three other villagers have been booked under the Protection of Children From Sexual Offences Act,” SHO Singh added. “Her family members confessed that her brother and three others from the same village have raped her several times.”

As per the reports, further details are yet to be received after the DNA tests of the accused and the newborn child.

No woman is safe in India, I say, but Rajasthan reportedly had the highest number of rapes with 5,997 cases in 2020, followed by Uttar Pradesh and Madhya Pradesh with 3,065 cases and 2,485 cases respectively. According to sources, Rajasthan also had the highest rate of rape cases at 15.9 (per lakh population) followed by Kerala and Haryana at 11.1 and 10.9, respectively.

A 14YO minor girl in Rajasthan’s Nagaur district has reportedly given birth to a child after which four people, including her brother, have been booked for rape. — Source

While I’m writing this, a part of me has already given up! And as I said earlier, I know it will not stop ever!

My question is: would this have been better if they were taught about sex and sexuality right from the beginning? Would this have been better if they knew the core meaning of words like ‘consent’ and ‘no’? Would this have been better if they were taught the value of equality and respect towards every gender?

“The reality is that many children are not comfortable having such a discussion with parents. Parents should at least facilitate such conversations if they (the children) are hesitant about it,” says Ram, a member of Racsha.

Filmmaker Aniruddha Roychowdhury believes that children should be taught to speak about abuse more openly. “If there is any violation, there has to be a protest. Be it an uncle or anyone else known to the family; they (perpetrators of abuse) should be punished and shamed so that they are not able to step out. They should be exposed on social media and newspapers and the parents, elder brother or sister have to listen to the child,” he adds.

It’s hardly been six months since the Bois Locker Room, the infamous Instagram ‘scandal’, happened — and here we are, discussing and writing about several other cases of rape and sexual abuse happened after that.

And the sad part is that almost 99% of these cases go unreported — sad and dark, isn’t it?

Where and what is the problem they ask. Is it the mentality or rage or a compulsive mechanism to overpower a woman’s will or just an amusement? The reason is never annotated, never justified.

And while we figure out a solid solution to this, can we just urge the government to rethink about sex education and request every parent to talk about it?

Sex education helps in learning about the mental, physical, emotional and social aspects of sexuality by making children and teenagers aware about their physical well being, health, hygiene, dignity and also enhances their skills, knowledge, attitudes and social values which further helps them in developing respectful social and sexual relationships.

And maybe this will result in a lesser number of incidents, more number of people talking about it in a healthy way and more parents supporting their children for the justice and life they deserve?

Unlike the family of this minor in Rajasthan, people would not wait until the delivery and speak about the evil and fight against it — and maybe then no brother would think of raping his sister, no father would sell his daughter for a meagre amount of four lakh, and no husband would throw acid on his wife’s face in the name of purity!

Can we still hope for that dawn?

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