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Battling ADHD, Dyslexia & Body-Shaming: This Entrepreneur’s Story Is The Perfect Inspiration For All!

Written By: Sonali
December 1, 2020 |
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“Most individuals are born into families; I was adopted into the heart of the family that gave me a name. My parents and paternal grandparents, along with entire social culturally diverse global family, accepted my being in this unconditional source of positive regard and universal love. My struggle was first surviving being born and then growing into the bosom of this omnipresent love — the dark shadow of not being accepted and emotionally abused by my maternal family. And then actually began my conflict of the mind-body and spirit,” says Aarti Ahuja.

Aarti was a highly sensitive child and grew up with adults primarily who encouraged her different learning and supported her questioning spirit. The educational challenges of the Indian system and social discrimination from her mother’s side of the family and peers at school impacted her psyche to a large extent. This impact made adjustment issues along with emotional discomforts along with diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia in adolescence. 

“The duality of growing up brought me to engage in introspection and imbibing virtues of thinking even before I could reach out to society. My formal schooling began in an institution that today is celebrating 100 years of being rooted in the same unconditional positive regard my home environment was providing. Making social interaction with peers was a challenge and also a source of great disharmony to my highly sensitive side. As a person being ridiculed for my weight and academic under-achievement by my mother’s side of the family made me a reluctant participant in the education process,” she continues. “Only because I was blessed with grandparents and a far-sighted father who understood my other abilities, they encouraged my understanding of the world evolving through my own introspection and adding intuitive meaning that I could take on the diagnosis of being labelled ADHD & Dsylexic in adolescence. The spiritual evolution in my loneliness and the status of being an outsider yet an insider among-st friends led me to have a conviction to help others as a profession. Passing high school was clouded by losing my grandparents — that void of emotional and spiritual support was a big hit though certain teachers and friends came along to support, it never was the same again.”

With being overweight, challenged in social interactions, and always made to feel inferior in scholastic ability, she battled her relationship with her mother and her inner self to start learning psychology in a government institution. Challenges were faced again, and this time it was more like quicksand engulfing her highly sensitive spirit in the mental and emotional abuse the government college and students of various Indian ethnicity made her endured. A struggling body image issue became a binge eating episodic depressive and self-harming behaviour — that was an outcome of her psychology teachers degrading her scholastic ability and labelling her privilege as her fault and mentally torturing her for being who she had evolved into despite the challenges.

“Moving away from this environment had incurred upon me the most lonely phase of my life — depressive eating, obesity and various medical co-morbid diseases but at the same time, the spiritual evolution that was underway was the most divine occurrence in the plan,” by experiencing grief and the mental trauma tapped into her creativity and started expressing through art and poetry. The gender identity of a fluid identity yet feminine driven gave Aarti a chance to take the decision to change her higher education institute to a private college.

The challenges of society didn’t change as Aarti wasn’t ever socially accepted and the outsider being the insider identity latched to her again. The difference scholastically/ educationally was the acceptance of her seeking spirit, and the full support of the administration in accommodating to her learning style within the overall education system constraints was the little breath of fresh air that kept her trying to scale the mighty mountain of Indian education. 

Her body went through a process of physical change with the help of weight loss surgery. The entire process was supported by the family across the globe and few good souls. The love, acceptance, and positive regard of good parenting and open-minded thinking society Aarti grew up in was the source of the resilience and never giving up attitude. Though being able to take an academic leave was also a blessing by the private college administration to undergo her biggest transformation in her gratitude towards them, she has rooted elements of their philosophy already similar to her upbringing in creating her counselling and healing space Tatava: The Lifestyle Studio.

As education ended, learning and seeking never stopped opportunities that came to her because society appreciated the thinner body and interacted with her worth of being few kilos lighter as the actual self. As again, the duality of being blessed with deeply supportive individuals who still despite the present COVID challenges stand by her and society stood shoulder to shoulder. People viewed the ability of the mind of that being of the body, and the hypocrisy of this phase again triggered a relentless body image challenge. The present closest equations manifested themselves in her life with the same unconditional positive love and regard that allowed to expand her abilities into the lifestyle consultant she masquerades as today. 

“My body image issue continues as I have gained weight again and also experienced society’s hypocrisy and challenged depression, insomnia, and self-harm to be that person who continues to give. As the gratitude of what my body has received from family and those who have recognized my disabilities of shape and comprehension as the ability of spirit and beyond that one oneness with the universe, I bloom in being a psychologist/ counsellor with empathy and a businesswoman with the goal to create value in society through all my endeavour with the truest creative integrity of my authenticity,” she says.

While a challenge of being her authentic self was experienced, she has created her own modality of therapy that uses in counselling today. She combines the psycho-spiritual dimensions along with an understanding that everyone is in the mud, but the fight is to co-exist with the mud because the value of authenticity blooms in the spirit before the glow of life can be determined.

Aarti Ahuja is an alumnus of Modern School Barakhamba Road, and she completed her MA in Applied Psychology from Amity University Noida. In the past decade, she has diversified her professional skills by training herself as NLP practitioner, Health and Wellness Coach, and gaining knowledge in Family and Relationship along with Expressive Art therapy. She calls herself a lifestyle consultant combining her acumen in the field of Psychology with her interest in food art and wellness domains, having established Adiaa Simplified Livings Solutions, a Pvt Ltd company with business interest in health, wellness, and entertainment domain.

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Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out! Check her thoughts at www.theobstinategirl.com

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A Note To My Young Daughter

Written By: Infano
December 14, 2020 | 04:30 PM |
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It’s a difficult world out there. You were my little girl and now you are ready to take on the world. You will have your own new experiences. You will make mistakes. You will stumble, fall and learn to get up. You will make new friends; some of whom I may not even approve of. You will fall in love and might have a heart break or two. You will learn and discover many things on your own, but there are a few things that I always want you to remember –

You are beautiful

There is no such thing as a perfect body. The society, the billboards, the tv commercials and the movies may suggest that there is, but in reality, people come in every shape and size. It is okay that you want to look your best. But always remember that a good heart is what makes you more beautiful and a smile is the best makeup you can wear.

Understand your hormones

Getting a period is an important part of womanhood, it means you can be a mother if and when you decide to be one. You may see your friends being unperturbed during that time of the month, while you may wriggle in pain, or may be irritable.It is fine to feel how you are and its okay to talk about it. Each woman has a different menstrual experience. Try to understand your cycle and how your body responds to it. Don’t let your hormones takes over your life, just be prepared for it.

Stand up for yourself

You will meet people who will try to judge or change the way you think, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself, the way you act. It is okay to listen to them, if you wish to. But do not be afraid to voice your opinions and your beliefs, even if you think you might offend someone. Be respectful to them, but do not think twice about standing up for yourself. You do not have to accept the things that you are not okay with. If you are not happy with the way someone is treating you, the way someone is talking to you, the way someone is touching or looking at you, let it be known – loud and clear.

Do what you do – because you want to, not because the society expects you to

More often than not we let the society mould our thoughts and actions – what clothes to wear when, what profession to choose, when to marry and when to have babies. We do not need to live by these rules. Do what you love. Follow your heart and that ways you will never be disappointed. And yes, you can choose to be single all your life. You can decide to focus on your career, or be a doting mother to your babies or do both. The choice is yours. But of course, be sensitive to people whom you are sharing your journey with.

Be Financially Independent

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it still is important. The confidence you gain from being financially independent cannot be gained in any other way. You can never predict the hardships or unforeseen incidents that may happen in the future. But the confidence that you can handle things on your own, if need be, can be very reassuring. You don’t need a man, or for that matter anyone to take care of you. You can take care of yourself.

Everyone is equal

You are equal to the men around you. Don’t let the society make you believe otherwise. You deserve the same opportunities, the same chances, the same freedom, the same choices that men get. And if there is anything they can achieve, you can too. It is your capability that determines the heights you reach and not your gender. Treat men also with the same respect that you expect them to treat you.

I want you to remember all this, but most of all want you to remember that I will always have your back and will always be around when you need me. You were my little girl, and you always will be.

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Infano

Infano is a platform that aims to impact every facet of a woman's life - health, career, motherhood, lifestyle, and much more. We are a team of like-minded individuals who wish to be a support to women from all walks of life and in everything they do. Our aim, through our posts and articles, is to bring to light the issues and problems that women face in their day-to-day life, to try and make their life a little easier and a little better, provide the latest news updates of women around the world, and to highlight their big and small achievements. We celebrate womanhood each and every day.

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