Netflix’s Bombay Begums is much in the news now for its depiction of the flawed, imperfect portrayal of women who have made mistakes, have been violated, have fallen apart, and yet have succeeded in gathering their pieces back together in a man’s world. The realistic characters of the protagonists make them relatable because they are just like us- falling for temptations, giving into desires, and yet owning up their mistakes and standing tall and these are the naaris we need to see more of – sanskaari or not.
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Netflix’s Bombay Begums is much in the news now for its depiction of the flawed, imperfect portrayal of women who have made mistakes, have been violated, have fallen apart, and yet have succeeded in gathering their pieces back together in a man’s world. The realistic characters of the protagonists make them relatable because they are just like us- falling for temptations, giving into desires, and yet owning up their mistakes and standing tall and these are the naaris we need to see more of- sanskaari or not.
Here are 6 times the Bombay Begums owned up and refused to give in
1. When Ayesha finally gathers the courage to stand up against her sexual abuse, even after she admitted earlier that it was consensual.
There is no right or wrong way to report abuse. We may take time to process what has happened and when we can we should be able to change our narrative if that is the right thing to do.
2. When the board asks Rani to quit because her affair leaks.
Rani refuses to give in to the board’s request to quit on the basis of rumours. She is able to differentiate her personal and professional life and even though she may have made a mistake she won’t let that overshadow her professional course.
3. When Fatima realizes she made a mistake judging Deepak’s character and had victim-blamed Ayesha.
Once Fatima realized that what she did was wrong and had failed all along to see the man that Deepak was, she did not hesitate to accept that she was wrong and right her mistakes to get Ayesha justice. And so does Rani.
4. When Lily witnesses Ayesha’s molestation in the car and speaks up for her.
Initially Lily is the one who informs Rani about the car abuse situation between Ayesha and Deepak and urges Ayesha to stand up for what is right. When Ayesha lies saying it was consensual, she tells her that being a prostitute she can identify what is consensual and what is not.
5. When Rani tells her stepdaughter Shai about her sexual abuse.
Even though Rani is not accepted as a mother by her stepdaughter, she doesn’t stop trying. Instead she becomes vulnerable and opens up to her about the sexual abuse she suffered at the beginning of her career, telling Shia that it’s never worth it to let men own any aspect of their life at any point.
6. When Fatima confronts her husband’s team at work.
Fatima shows how she does not let her relationship with her husband come in the way when she has to reprimand him and his team for forgoing a deadline. Whatever equation she may share with her husband at home and whatever insecurities they may have with each other, Once she is in her seat, all she knows is to do her job and do it right.
Bombay Begums may not have been perfect and is also flawed in many ways but we have to give it to them for showing real, vulnerable characters bearing open their fears, insecurities. It also has opened up conversations about menstruation, menopause, miscarriages, sexual abuse and unconventional marriage depiction.
Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.
Congratulations! The fact that you are reading this article probably means that you are in tune with your sex and sexuality and ready or almost ready to plunge into the world of sexual pleasure, adventure and exploration! Choosing your first sex toy can be both exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Why? Because the market and range are wide, contrary to what you may think. It is normal to feel lost and clueless but that is what Infano is here for- to help you with sex and sexuality and to guide you for that very first purchase and help you to choose the right one for your sexual needs.
But before we get into that, let us address a few things
Sex toys are not just for masturbation.
If you are buying this to help you with your solo adventures or add that zing to your lonely boring sex life, that is great. But sex toys are not just for masturbation alone. They can add zing to your sexcapades with your partner and may probably be the thing that was even missing from your lives.
Sex toys are not just for vulva owners.
As has been mostly propagated or believed, sex toys come in an array of designs and they can be used by all genders and bodies, however, finding the right toy can certainly help and there are certain toys that may be only for vulva owners or penis owners alone.
Therefore it is important to do your research, and also discuss your choices with your partner if you are looking to use them mutually during your sessions and understand what toys are meant for which part of the body and what excites you personally.
Questions you need to ask yourself before buying:
What is your preferred stroke?
Which stimulation are you looking for?
What turns you on the most when you’re having sex with yourself?
What turns you on the most when you’re having sex with your partner?
Different types of sex toys
Before you start shopping, a better understanding of the products on the market, and their different uses can help you decide what are things available are commonly used.
Toys for Clitoral and/or Vaginal Stimulation
For vulva owners, the clitoris is the powerhouse of orgasms, and toys for its stimulation could be a first and safe purchase for the new and uninitiated. Since 75% of women cant orgasm on their own or through penetrative sex, a little help down there can surely send you to orgasm heaven.
For external stimulation of the clitoris and vagina, the wand vibrators are the thing. Not to forget breast and nipple stimulators or clamps. Yes, nipple clamps exist and can multiply your pleasure by restricting blood flow to the area and unclamping creates a rush of endorphins with the rush of blood flow.
Toys for internal stimulation, penetration and to stimulate the G-spot – battery operated vibrators, dildos (phallic-shaped and come in different sizes).
Anal Stimulation– anal beads, anal rings, butt plugs are for those who enjoy anal sex or anal stimulation.
Both external and internal stimulation – rabbit wand (try it and thank us later), bullet vibrators (these are small and travel friendly).
Oral sex – Suction vibrators are the closest you can get for oral clitoral stimulation.
For penis owners, you may want to check out options for penis stimulation, testicle stimulation, or prostate play. Anal beads, butt plugs, nipple stimulators and pegs are sex toys that are not gender-specific and can be used by all bodies based on their preference.
Sex toys can also help in understanding your body, sexual gratification by orgasm but also to explore your gender identity and sexual preferences. There is nothing wrong in discussing sex and sexuality with your partner and things like these can only get you closer to your partner as well as your orgasm, though orgasms need not be the only way to achieve gratification through a sexual act every time.
How to check for size?
Don’t get too carried away while choosing the size of your sex toy. Choosing one with the right length and girth is important so that it is comfortable and pleasurable at the same time. While selecting a toy with the proper girth, check how many fingers you can comfortably slip inside the opening where you’ll be using the toy for. Then check the measurements given of the toy and then measure your fingers accordingly. Lengthwise it is always better to go in for a longer one that does not disappear into your orifice and is easy to remove.
Where to buy sex toys from?
While many may not be outright comfortable to walk right into a sex shop and choose something, let us thank the internet and technology for being able to shop these from the comfort of our homes. Having said that, here is a list of sites you can shop from. Yes, you’re welcome!
It is better to keep it simple initially when making the first few purchases and also make sure you check the reviews before finalizing. Too many attachments and settings can be confusing for some but pleasurable for many.
Toys made of non-porous material and without battery should be washed and dried and stored well after use. Use a mild soap, damp washcloth, or you can sterilize by boiling them for 5-10 minutes.
Use an unscented, antibacterial soap for non-porous ex toys which come with a battery, or use a damp soapy washcloth to get rid of any bacteria on the surface and any soap residue on the surface.
Cleaning porous material sex toys with soap might leave soap residue in the pores. It is advised to use a condom along with these sex toys. You can also clean them with a warm damp soapy washcloth or use a toothbrush to clean out the pores.
Battery-operated toys or toys with electric cords should not be fully immersed in the water and is always better to check the instructions thoroughly before use. It is always better to use them with a condom for better hygiene.
Humzaad is a content writer who wishes to bring an alternate reality of the world to light with her writings. She talks about taboos and shunned topics often brushed under the carpet or discussed in hushed tones. Every writer has an alter ego and this profile is hers. Her writings often come with a trigger warning.
On other days you will find her gardening or making art. You can reach her at humzaadthewriter@gmail.com