Sex and Sexuality: A Guide To Buy Your First Sex Toy

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Congratulations! The fact that you are reading this article probably means that you are in tune with your sex and sexuality and ready or almost ready to plunge into the world of sexual pleasure, adventure and exploration! Choosing your first sex toy can be both exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Why? Because the market and range are wide, contrary to what you may think. It is normal to feel lost and clueless but that is what Infano is here for- to help you with sex and sexuality and to guide you for that very first purchase and help you to choose the right one for your sexual needs.

But before we get into that, let us address a few things

Sex toys are not just for masturbation.

If you are buying this to help you with your solo adventures or add that zing to your lonely boring sex life, that is great. But sex toys are not just for masturbation alone. They can add zing to your sexcapades with your partner and may probably be the thing that was even missing from your lives.

Sex toys are not just for vulva owners.

As has been mostly propagated or believed, sex toys come in an array of designs and they can be used by all genders and bodies, however, finding the right toy can certainly help and there are certain toys that may be only for vulva owners or penis owners alone.

Therefore it is important to do your research, and also discuss your choices with your partner if you are looking to use them mutually during your sessions and understand what toys are meant for which part of the body and what excites you personally.

Questions you need to ask yourself before buying:

What is your preferred stroke?
Which stimulation are you looking for?
What turns you on the most when you’re having sex with yourself?
What turns you on the most when you’re having sex with your partner?
Different types of sex toys

Before you start shopping, a better understanding of the products on the market, and their different uses can help you decide what are things available are commonly used.

Toys for Clitoral and/or Vaginal Stimulation

For vulva owners, the clitoris is the powerhouse of orgasms, and toys for its stimulation could be a first and safe purchase for the new and uninitiated. Since 75% of women cant orgasm on their own or through penetrative sex, a little help down there can surely send you to orgasm heaven.

For external stimulation of the clitoris and vagina, the wand vibrators are the thing. Not to forget breast and nipple stimulators or clamps. Yes, nipple clamps exist and can multiply your pleasure by restricting blood flow to the area and unclamping creates a rush of endorphins with the rush of blood flow.

Toys for internal stimulation, penetration and to stimulate the G-spot – battery operated vibrators, dildos (phallic-shaped and come in different sizes).

anal sex toys — Vibrator, inflatable anal ball, anal butt plug and anal beads

Anal Stimulation– anal beads, anal rings, butt plugs are for those who enjoy anal sex or anal stimulation.

Both external and internal stimulation – rabbit wand (try it and thank us later), bullet vibrators (these are small and travel friendly).

Oral sex – Suction vibrators are the closest you can get for oral clitoral stimulation.

For penis owners, you may want to check out options for penis stimulation, testicle stimulation, or prostate play. Anal beads, butt plugs, nipple stimulators and pegs are sex toys that are not gender-specific and can be used by all bodies based on their preference.

Sex toys can also help in understanding your body, sexual gratification by orgasm but also to explore your gender identity and sexual preferences. There is nothing wrong in discussing sex and sexuality with your partner and things like these can only get you closer to your partner as well as your orgasm, though orgasms need not be the only way to achieve gratification through a sexual act every time.

How to check for size?

Don’t get too carried away while choosing the size of your sex toy. Choosing one with the right length and girth is important so that it is comfortable and pleasurable at the same time. While selecting a toy with the proper girth, check how many fingers you can comfortably slip inside the opening where you’ll be using the toy for. Then check the measurements given of the toy and then measure your fingers accordingly. Lengthwise it is always better to go in for a longer one that does not disappear into your orifice and is easy to remove.

Where to buy sex toys from?

While many may not be outright comfortable to walk right into a sex shop and choose something, let us thank the internet and technology for being able to shop these from the comfort of our homes. Having said that, here is a list of sites you can shop from. Yes, you’re welcome!

– Manzuri

– Love Treats

– That’s Personal

– Pure Passion

– Sangya Project

–I M Besharam

Caring for your sex toys

It is better to keep it simple initially when making the first few purchases and also make sure you check the reviews before finalizing. Too many attachments and settings can be confusing for some but pleasurable for many.

Toys made of non-porous material and without battery should be washed and dried and stored well after use. Use a mild soap, damp washcloth, or you can sterilize by boiling them for 5-10 minutes.

Use an unscented, antibacterial soap for non-porous ex toys which come with a battery, or use a damp soapy washcloth to get rid of any bacteria on the surface and any soap residue on the surface.

Cleaning porous material sex toys with soap might leave soap residue in the pores. It is advised to use a condom along with these sex toys. You can also clean them with a warm damp soapy washcloth or use a toothbrush to clean out the pores.

Battery-operated toys or toys with electric cords should not be fully immersed in the water and is always better to check the instructions thoroughly before use. It is always better to use them with a condom for better hygiene.

For more blogs on sexual health, click here.

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Where do you think movies are inspired from? No, not the one that leaves you with constipation but the one that challenges the society and its rules.

Naaz’s story is no less than a movie — but this heroine got through all the hardships and struggles in her life — and she always came out fiercer and stronger!

Her story started way back when she was in kindergarten — living her first stage performance at the age of 4, performing as a doll. She always loved dolls! She loved makeup, acting, and most of her stage performances in school were of a female protagonist. “I never had to accept myself! I always knew that I was a woman. The difference is that this world saw the woman in me much later than I spotted her,” speaks Naaz Joshi, the protagonist of my story who went on to make world records.

When her parents realized about her sexual identity and her love for dolls, they were shaken — no, not because she loved dolls, but because their ‘son’ loved dolls!

We have been conditioned to this pseudo fact since the puratan kaal — that, a girl always likes dolls & pink colour and that, a boy cannot like anything else other than superheroes, cars and motorbikes, and of course, blue colour!!

Naaz’s femininity became a shame to her siblings in school, so she was sent to boarding and, till date, is not allowed to meet any of her relatives. Her parents were ashamed of her, and they still are, and her mother never let her have that mother-daughter bond which her sister is blessed with.

Meet The Transwoman Who Became India’s First International Trans Queen! — The only transwoman to win the title of Miss World Diversity thrice in a row

She has always been deprived of her parents’ love since a tender age. She studied by herself, worked by herself and learnt the basic equations of duniyadaari on her own. But this was not enough for the young child; she was yet to see a lot more.

While she was away from her parents, she was molested by her paternal uncle. She was raped by her cousins and also harassed by her school teachers.

She started working in a dance bar at the age of 11, and completed her schooling. At 18, she took the entrance exam and got admitted in NIFT. Her cousin sister Viveka Babajee sponsored her education. She got the opportunity to work with giants like Ritu Kumar and Ritu Beri, but her coworkers rejected her. She decided to go for sex reassignment surgery, but the amount was unaffordable. She worked as a sex worker, and in 2013, she became the woman she always wanted to be!

She soon got into modelling after that, and in 2015, she became India’s first trans cover model. She won many pageants and also started her own pageant house ‘Mrs India Home Makers’. The same year, she also represented India at the United Nations and got Miss United Nations Ambassador title.

Later she also participated in Miss Republic international Beauty Contest Singapore and won Miss United Nations Ambassador again in 2017. She won the title of Miss World Diversity in 2017, again in 2018 in Dubai and then in 2019 in Mauritius. The same year, she also made a record of winning this prestigious title thrice in a row.

Miss World Diversity was conducted online this year, and Naaz won it again, against all the odds. The beautiful irony is that all the contests and titles won by Naaz were against cis-women. She became India’s First International Trans Beauty Queen and World’s First Trans Model to win a female pageant.

Life was treating her exactly like the queen that she always wanted to be. However, the men in her life failed in that. Generally, love gives people a chance, but Naaz gave love chances twice but only to get rejected by men because she was a transwoman and not a ciswoman!

I wonder if a transwoman is not a real woman? Who are we to judge and decide that?

But as they say, nothing can stop a woman! Naaz adopted a baby girl in 2018 who turned two this year. She also adopted another girl child this year. The motherhood blessed Naaz with probably the best of what it could. “I am happy with my kids. I am staying with my father these days as he is diagnosed with liver cancer, stage four. It’s painful and really hurting to see him like this. My mother still hates me and abuses me verbally and physically often,” Naaz further says in an exclusive interview with Infano.

Even after taking our country to the international level, our janta still doesn’t leave a chance to insult her and spare her. She often faces discrimination in hospitals, hotels, public places, while looking for rented apartments. But she calls herself too strong to be shaken or broken by such ‘petty’ incidents. She tries to take lessons from every wrong decision that she made and strives to improve daily.

Naaz further wants to venture in acting. She has done small workshops with artists like Divya Dutta, Kalki Koechlin, Gaurav Alagh, Faraz Mariam Ansari, etc. She will soon be seen in director Shiraz Henry’s Beyond 2 as well. She also wishes to build an orphanage for girl children and teach them self defence.

She believes that every individual is different, and each of them looks at life differently. She encourages people to accept who they are — irrespective of their gender. To come out of the closet, to take life as a blessing and not a curse, to always look out for opportunities is what Naaz believes in. “Never give up! I never imagined myself as a beauty queen or a speaker in my 30s but see, anything and everything is possible. All you need to do is to spread your rainbow wings and fly high,” Naaz says while encouraging the LGBTI community.

Naaz is World’s First transwoman to win a female pageant

Naaz is an ambassador of meditation. She found a mother in her deity, her God. “I have found a loving mother in my divine. She is my parent and takes good care of me in every walk of life. I am so thankful to my divine mother for protecting me and giving me all the love I wanted from my parents,” she says.

“Women, you are the creator; you are the nurturer; you are the first guru of your child. Empower yourself, know your rights, say NO to domestic violence, female foeticide, dowry and ugly relationships. You all are self-sufficient, you don’t need anyone to help you. Study well, give your kids the education they deserve and be independent, and you will see that the world is yours,” she signs off.

She believes that her community has fought and come a long way, but there is a lot more to achieve. She wishes the same-sex marriages to get legal in India soon. She also urges the government to consider reservations for a transwoman in the public and private sectors.

I see Naaz not as a transwoman but as a fighter, as a struggler and as a diva who rose to become a goddess and an inspiration. Her story is all fascinating and lovely when I write it but I bet, no one except Naaz would know the pain, the uneasiness and the feeling better. Cheers to her and her clan for being a ray of hope and a saga of bravery!