Are You Shocked by the Recent Statements Made by Some Politicians?

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Uttarakhand chief minister Tirath Singh Rawat said at a workshop on substance abuse on Tuesday that ‘Ripped jeans’ pave the way for societal breakdown and are a result of the “bad example” parents set for children, which also leads to substance abuse. Not the first time that statements by politicians have gone viral and created a stir in the country

“While the western world follows us, doing yoga … covering their body properly. And we run towards nudity”, said the minister calling the trend “Kyanchi se sanskaar (culture by scissors)”.

He added how was shocked to meet a woman who ran an NGO wearing ripped jeans. “If this kind of woman goes out in the society to meet people and solve their problems, what kind of message are we giving out to the society, to our kids? It all starts at home. What we do, our kids follow.”

How does the choice of clothing have an effect on character and moral values?

Another minister in his government, Ganesh Joshi, demanded that women should give priority to raising their children. “Women talk about all things they want to do in life, but the most important thing for them is to look after their family and children”.

While I contemplate if I should laugh or cry, I realize that a surprise reaction is now normal for us as women of this country. How is this solution, I wonder? Instead of curbing drug supply, punishing harassers, molesters, and rape accused, here the onus is again on the woman to sacrifice her basic choice of clothing, her liberty, privacy, and her fundamental rights of basic existence to protect herself.

As women continue to pave their way with struggles and difficulties in a man’s world, and while the men in authority struggle to find ways to curb crimes against women, the easiest solution they have found is to blame it on women. Not just now. Every time. How easy right?! Also, this is not the first time statements by politicians attacking basic human (read women’s) rights have hit the news.

Here are a few other times politicians have made some bizarre statements that continue to attack basic human rights:

· Boys will be boys, they commit mistakes- Samajwadi Party supremo

· Two men raping a woman cannot be termed as gang rape- Former Karnataka Home Minister

· If a woman is caught (in a rape case), then both she and the boy should be punished- SP’s State President

· Best way to curb India’s population growth is to provide electricity to Indian villages so that couples spend their time watching TV instead of procreating and increasing the population- Former Health and Family Welfare Minister

· Crimes against women won’t happen in “Bharat” or the rural areas of the country. You go to villages and forests of the country and there will be no such incidents of gang-rape or sex crimes- RSS Chief

· Women shouldn’t participate in protests- Chief Justice

· Hindu women shouldn’t do interfaith marriage- UP CM

· Women should just be housewives- RSS Chief

· Girls can reproduce at 15, so why should their marital age be increased from 18 to 21? – MP Congress Leader

The idea of always monitoring women, snatching their liberty and privacy is an easier solution than questioning the incapacity of the police to do their jobs.

Being eve teased? Don’t wear provocative clothes.

Getting raped? Don’t go out at night.

Men will be men; they will commit crimes and rapes.

You just need to be more careful as a woman.

Because men can’t keep it in their pants or control their provocative gaze at lady parts, let’s just ask women to cover up themselves, no matter the comfort level or the weather conditions. That way we men won’t get tempted to look at them.

And when women question this we will objectify them by equating them candies and precious stones which need to be covered or protected.

This is the mentality of many. They refuse to see the problem and when they do, they try to shift blame or come up with convenient, easy solutions that benefit the perpetrator instead of the victim. And if they are people in power, the solution should be one that makes their work easier.

Also Read Why men are unable to handle rejection?

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When my cousin gave birth to her daughter, her life was completely changed — physically, emotionally, mentally, behaviorally — it was drastic.

But what was more overwhelming for us was the constant poke by some of the self-acclaimed mom experts who didn’t want to stop sharing their gyaan on how to raise a kid. Yes, it’s good to have experts around, but I think once a woman becomes a mother, she kind of knows what needs to be done — that’s the instincts that help her.

In my cousin’s case, she was barred from doing most of her favourite things because, ‘beti ka dhyaan kaun rakhega?’ She had to keep moving to other rooms to breastfeed her, change her and sometimes had to face the wall while feeding her.

I wondered if every woman had to face the same? And what if there’s the only room where you can feed her? How many times will you face the wall? How will you feed the baby in public?

While I’m finding the answers to these unwanted stigmas of the 21st century, read about this supermom Stuti Agarwal, who loves to be a breastfeeding advocate and be vocal about the activities which are ‘natural’!

Stuti’s gynaecologist & an IBCLC, post-delivery, told her that she has to be with her kid 24×7. Stuti hooked on to that statement and took him along everywhere. “Being an exclusively breastfeeding mom who hasn’t used a bottle ever, I have breastfed almost everywhere — malls, movie halls, restaurants, Kuala Lumpur Tower, ship, train, flight, zoo, Disneyland, museum, temple — you name it, and I have done it,” shares Stuti. “However, I felt judged many times. I was told by people to go to some other place and feed as male members were present.”

Ever Breastfeed Breastfeeding In Public_ This Super Mom Will Tell You How To Do It! — Stuti with her kid

And this was not different in her home too. She was asked to face the wall of her room while breastfeeding her baby. “I felt like I was doing a crime! I had to feed him almost any and every time, and apparently, I was facing the wall for 20 hours a day! Eventually, I ignored the folks and started feeding my baby as per our convenience. And the first time I breastfed my baby in front of my dad, it gave me some confidence to feed him in public as well,” she continues.

Stuti recalls an incident when her first one wasn’t even a month old, “A neighbour was visiting me, and I started feeding my baby. She closed the eyes of her then 4-year-old! That made me realize what a taboo breastfeeding was, and I took the pledge to normalize it. I breastfeed my second one freely in front of my almost 3-year-old. My 11-year-old nephew, who used to step out of the room when I fed my baby, is now comfortable with me feeding in his presence. People need to realize that breasts aren’t just organs or something for sexual pleasure, but to feed babies and nourish them.”

“Once, I was at Siddhivinayak temple in Mumbai, feeding the baby in the temple compound when a temple official asked me to accompany her and feed the baby in a dingy room. My own family has felt embarrassed of me feeding in public,” she continued telling how she became a breastfeeding advocate over time.

By the time Stuti’s kid was six months old, she had already travelled to six countries without worrying about his baby’s food and health. “My family members were a bit wary initially because they rarely saw women breastfeeding in public, but they have now accepted that it is normal to feed babies anywhere and are even proud of me that I exclusively breastfed my kids,” Stuti laughs.

“Here are five reasons why I believe in nursing in public :

My baby wants food; she gets it. I’m not going to let her bawl while I look for a room or give her a bottle of formula just because “log kya kahenge”.

My baby, my breasts, my rules.

I want to promote nursing in public and normalize breastfeeding. I want more people to see that breastfeeding still happens; it is normal and can happen in public too.

I want my baby to get used to being fed under the sky, on the grass, on the restaurant table, in a noisy place, whenever wherever so that she develops acceptance of situations.

My convenience. I don’t have to pack too many things and not run around to find a place to feed.”

Stuti follows the two-t-shirt method to feed. She works as an independent content writer and loves sharing her kids’ tales. Connect with her on Instagram to hear some of those.

And while I’m finding the answers to these unwanted stigmas of the 21st century, I am encouraging all mothers not to give up. Dear moms, do not give up on your dreams, do not hide in the closet due to the society — be you, be what you are and show your kid the world you believe in!

#Breastfeeding is bliss. Don’t let your child be deprived of it!