Nikita Tomar, a 21-year-old girl from Haryana, was shot dead in Faridabad, because she refused to marry the accused. Nikita was being forced to convert and marry the accused, Tauseef. He was angry at Nikita as she had stopped taking his calls and responding to his messages.
Malvi Malhotra, a 29-year-old actress, was stabbed by a Yogesh Mahipal Singh allegedly in Andheri’s Versova area, for turning down his marriage proposal.
Two unidentified men on a bike attacked a woman, threw acid, in Haryana’s Panipat. The incident was captured on CCTV camera.
These are just 3 incidents of violence reported in a matter of 5 days this week. Such cases of lovers being rejected and attacking women with weapons or acid are absolutely not new to us.
What are we doing wrong while bringing up our boys that they are unable to handle rejection from a girl? How are we breeding murderers instead of empathetic human beings?
Let’s stop raising men with the Raja Beta Syndrome
These are perhaps men who have been brought up with conditioning so dangerous that they think women are objects to be owned, just like the toys, gadgets, bikes, and cars. They feel they are entitled to all that they desire for and not acquiring it makes them go into a fit of rage. This has probably been going on from their childhood where denial has led them to throw a fit and parents would have given in. Thus they have never understood refusal or denial.
They do not understand the word ‘NO’. Mothers mollycoddle their raja betas to the extent where they are fed, pampered, not allowed to do housework. And breeds in them a sense of superiority where they think that being born as a man itself is enough for the world to be at their feet. How dare I not get this? Where fathers have been using the wives as slaves to serve them and the son grows up seeing all this and believing that Main toh mard hoon, yeh sab mera adhikar hai.
Handling Rejection and Dejection
What’s petrifying is that this behavior then extends from objects towards human beings. This violent streak is often unleashed upon the opposite sex as they have been made to believe that women are their subordinates, and things to own. Woh meri hai, aise kaise usey jaane dun? Or agar woh meri nahi ho sakti toh kisi aur ki bhi nahi hogi, so let me deface her with acid or better still kill her, because how dare she reject me? Me, who has always got whatever I have asked for since childhood. Me, who is a MAN, so how dare a woman reject me?
This stems from years of a patriarchal set up in society and family and the roots are so deep that it cannot change overnight. Equating women to conquests is a primitive mentality that stems from a mix of power, ego, and anger. This requires a complete shift in the thought process and mentality of both men and women to make a change in the workings of a family and upbringing of children where girls and boys are raised with respect for each other and given equal opportunities, duties, and responsibilities growing up. Where men are taught kindness, consent, to handle rejection, loss, defeats, and to address their emotions and insecurities in a healthy manner. Where men see women as their peers and equals.
Also Read | Why is male anger targeted towards women?
Infano condemns such acts and invites reader opinion on the same. Tell us how you feel about this in the comments. #InfanoOpinion