What If Men Were Menstruating, Would It Then Be "Normal"? - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

Highlights

It’s sad that we are in the 21st century and there is still a need to write this article, asking people to normalize something as natural as menstruation.

My sisters and my female friends were directed by their mothers to not talk about menstruation, especially with men.

I think menstruation would have already been normalized if men menstruated.

I wonder how many times I was unknowingly insensitive towards my mother’s menstrual pain.

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This Content is a Part of The Menstrual Hygiene Awareness 2021, in collaboration with The Logical Indian and Pee Safe.

Only when I had a girlfriend did I understand what a woman goes through during menstruation. She was the one who told me about the discomfort that she experienced
and how agonizingly painful it can be for some women. My teachers only taught me about the biological process of menstruation. My mother did go through the pain and discomfort but never told me about it. My sisters and my female friends were directed by their mothers to not talk about menstruation, especially with men. The only thing that was taught at home was that women are not allowed to enter the kitchen for a few days of every month, because they become impure. IMPURE?! I can’t even imagine how I would react if people made me believe that I was impure, but that’s what they did to my sisters and friends. They still do. Even my mother was a part of the same insensitive and oppressive system, but it was also taught to her and she followed the same mentality.

I think it’s sad that we are in the 21st century and there is still a need to write this article, asking people to normalize something as natural as menstruation, which is something that we witness first-hand in our own households on a regular basis. Then why is it still so difficult to have a conversation about it? People defecate and urinate on a regular basis, even in the open, and no one seems to care. Does that make them impure? No! Can they enter the kitchen? Hell yes, because they wash their hands and move ahead with their day. No one goes hush-hush about it. You will witness how people make her feel shame and discomfort as if it is something new or such a big deal. In fact, students are taught to freely ask for permission to use the washroom whenever they feel the urge to use the loo. We call it ‘nature’s call’. Then why isn’t menstruation considered one of nature’s calls for women? Why is there shame and stigma attached to it? If I can tell my parents/friends/teachers something like, “I’ll go pee, and then I’ll be ready”, then why can’t a girl say to them, “I’ll change my pad, and then I’ll be ready”? Why would the former be normal and the latter be obnoxious or taboo or ‘TMI’?

In my opinion, our patriarchal roots have a lot to do with making menstruation a taboo. I do not want to go into our history, when almost all religious texts or the ways of living life were either written or propagated by men, from men’s point of view. If we were to even assume a hypothetical, where men would menstruate, I think menstruation would have already been normalized.

I so wish talking about menstruation was normal, and they would teach it at home and in schools about the pain and the discomfort caused by it. I wish they could teach us about being sensitive and accommodating, just like they taught basic manners.

I wonder how many times I was unknowingly insensitive towards my mother’s menstrual pain. How many times did my sister have to walk to a nearby medical shop by herself to buy sanitary pads while in excruciating pain? If only I knew earlier. If only they were ‘allowed’ to tell me. If only they felt comfortable telling me to get it for them. I wonder if they will still tell me. I wish they would.

Author- Aman Bhutada

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Read how this woman did her bit towards her school and hostel by donating menstrual hygiene products to the inmates with Team Infano.

I have a help, Mary who has been working at my home since the past 10 years. She is like family to me – has helped me maintain the well-being of my family, has helped me through my difficult times when my family members were sick, been a support when I had to leave my kids at home for outstation work assignments, has helped raise my kids with me.

We have grown up with each other… literally. She comes from a humble background, has a husband who has been addicted to alcohol for years now and three daughters. I have seen her work hard, literally willing to do anything to make things work for the family. I now see her daughters all grown up, taken up jobs and doing well in life. I feel a sense of pride when I talk about Mary and the independent daughters she has raised.

Today, I want to tell you the story of her youngest daughter, Soumya. When Soumya was young, things were really tough financially at home. Her elder siblings were studying well and it was getting increasingly difficult for Mary to make ends meet. She was at a stage when she felt that it would be even difficult to afford a school for Soumya. She heard about a girls’ hostel and school run by a few Christian nuns and approached them for Soumya’s schooling. They took her in. Soumya was just 6 years old then.

Once she joined school, Soumya was allowed to go home to her family only three times a year, and as a kid it was difficult to accept that. She had to adjust living with girls of different age groups and from varied socio-economic groups. It was tough for a six-year-old. Discipline was utmost important, helping in day-to-day chores of the hostel was a given, no reason was good enough to skip school, prayers or physical exercise. It all seemed unnecessary at that point, it all seemed way too strict. Soumya studied there till grade 10 and came out as a confident girl ready to take on life. The school brought a new perspective in Soumya’s life.

Soumya is now doing her graduation and has also taken up a part-time job. This Women’s Day, when she came to know about the “I Challenge to Change” campaign by Infano, she felt that she is ready to take up a challenge in life. She remembered her growing years in the hostel – the discomfort of periods every month, the lack of menstrual knowledge, the scarcity of menstrual hygiene products, missing someone to talk to – someone who could give her some explanations as to why, how, and when. Soumya wanted to do something for the menstrual hygiene of the students of the hostel.

Team Infano with Soumya, visited the hostel, spent time with the kids and the Sisters in-charge there. The hostel was well managed, even in these difficult COVID times. Though initially reserved, shy, and giggly, when we mentioned periods, the girls slowly opened up. The conversation touched upon several topics like menstrual cramps, the importance of hygiene, various period products, biodegradable organic products like the period products from PeeSafe (after all, the environment is our responsibility too!). It made the Infano team realize that there is still so much more that we need to spread the word about menstruation. We are really happy that youngsters like Soumya actually want to make a change in the lives of young girls. It’s a start for her – beginning with the place that helped her become what she is.

This rather simple real-life story has inspiring tales of strong women embedded in it – the story of Mary who struggled all her life but made sure she raised strong, capable daughters, the story of the Sisters at the hostel who have selflessly devoted their life to the upliftment of young girls and of young Soumya, who has a raring desire to do whatever she can to give a better life to the less privileged young girls.

We can draw inspiration from these women to do whatever we can in our capacity, big or small, to make a change because small changes put together can make a big difference in the future. Building a strong, independent women community is our hope and dream.