What If Men Were Menstruating, Would It Then Be "Normal"? - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

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It’s sad that we are in the 21st century and there is still a need to write this article, asking people to normalize something as natural as menstruation.

My sisters and my female friends were directed by their mothers to not talk about menstruation, especially with men.

I think menstruation would have already been normalized if men menstruated.

I wonder how many times I was unknowingly insensitive towards my mother’s menstrual pain.

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This Content is a Part of The Menstrual Hygiene Awareness 2021, in collaboration with The Logical Indian and Pee Safe.

Only when I had a girlfriend did I understand what a woman goes through during menstruation. She was the one who told me about the discomfort that she experienced
and how agonizingly painful it can be for some women. My teachers only taught me about the biological process of menstruation. My mother did go through the pain and discomfort but never told me about it. My sisters and my female friends were directed by their mothers to not talk about menstruation, especially with men. The only thing that was taught at home was that women are not allowed to enter the kitchen for a few days of every month, because they become impure. IMPURE?! I can’t even imagine how I would react if people made me believe that I was impure, but that’s what they did to my sisters and friends. They still do. Even my mother was a part of the same insensitive and oppressive system, but it was also taught to her and she followed the same mentality.

I think it’s sad that we are in the 21st century and there is still a need to write this article, asking people to normalize something as natural as menstruation, which is something that we witness first-hand in our own households on a regular basis. Then why is it still so difficult to have a conversation about it? People defecate and urinate on a regular basis, even in the open, and no one seems to care. Does that make them impure? No! Can they enter the kitchen? Hell yes, because they wash their hands and move ahead with their day. No one goes hush-hush about it. You will witness how people make her feel shame and discomfort as if it is something new or such a big deal. In fact, students are taught to freely ask for permission to use the washroom whenever they feel the urge to use the loo. We call it ‘nature’s call’. Then why isn’t menstruation considered one of nature’s calls for women? Why is there shame and stigma attached to it? If I can tell my parents/friends/teachers something like, “I’ll go pee, and then I’ll be ready”, then why can’t a girl say to them, “I’ll change my pad, and then I’ll be ready”? Why would the former be normal and the latter be obnoxious or taboo or ‘TMI’?

In my opinion, our patriarchal roots have a lot to do with making menstruation a taboo. I do not want to go into our history, when almost all religious texts or the ways of living life were either written or propagated by men, from men’s point of view. If we were to even assume a hypothetical, where men would menstruate, I think menstruation would have already been normalized.

I so wish talking about menstruation was normal, and they would teach it at home and in schools about the pain and the discomfort caused by it. I wish they could teach us about being sensitive and accommodating, just like they taught basic manners.

I wonder how many times I was unknowingly insensitive towards my mother’s menstrual pain. How many times did my sister have to walk to a nearby medical shop by herself to buy sanitary pads while in excruciating pain? If only I knew earlier. If only they were ‘allowed’ to tell me. If only they felt comfortable telling me to get it for them. I wonder if they will still tell me. I wish they would.

Author- Aman Bhutada

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A few days back, Saif Ali Khan discussed his upcoming film Adipurush, which is all set to begin shooting early next year, in an interview with a leading newspaper. Saif plays the character of Lankesh in the film. In the interview, he mentioned that the director had tried to make Ravan humane in the film and justify Ravan’s abduction of Sita and the war against Ram.

“It’s interesting to play a demon king, less strictures in that. But we will make him humane, up the entertainment quotient, justify his abduction of Sita and the war with Ram as revenge for what was done to his sister Surpanakha by Lakshman, who cut off her nose.“

This statement did not go down well with netizens, with them soon trending #ArrestSaifAliKhan.

What hurt more – Blasphemy or Abduction?

A quick glance on the outrage on social media makes one realize that majority of the people were upset about Saif Ali Khan trying to give a positive angle to Ravan, who went against Ram and Sita, whom they worshipped. We have seen in recent times that our country has become sensitive in matters related to religion. And the fact that Saif is of a minority religion gives it a different angle altogether.

We have been taught the scriptures in a particular way from our childhood, the clear demarcation between the good and the bad. Were people more hurt because someone was trying to change their outlook about what they have been believing so far? Did Saif’s statement seem blasphemous (you cannot get away by speaking about our Gods)? Did the justification of abduction cross their minds?

You cannot justify abduction

The outrage over the blasphemy overshadowed the point that abduction or forceful holding of woman of any religion, of any stature, of anyone is not acceptable. Saif would not have meant any harm, but making loose comments such as this, does make crimes like these looks less hideous.

In 2018, the whole nation went in shock over the Kathua abduction case. A couple of years back a top Malayalam actress was abducted and molested and the way the abduction happened sent shock waves in the country. These are just isolated incidents that caught national attention. According to the latest NCRB data, in 2019, crimes against women registered a 7.3 percent increase from 2018, with kidnapping & abduction of women at a shocking percentage of 17.9 percent.

The trauma that a kidnapping survivor goes through is unimaginable. In fact, even the scriptures show the pain and hurt that Sita had to go through for years after her release. We can just to start to imagine how it will be for a common woman in today’s times.

Where to draw the line on creativity?

The ability to look into an incident from all angles and unbiasedly is a trait that only a few of us are blessed with. We have had many writers and film makers who try to show a story from the antagonist’s point of view. In fact, such stories broaden our mindset, helps us approach life and incidents with a different perspective, helps us being more empathetic. But there is surely a difference between expressing what incidents led a person into doing something wrong and to defend wrongful acts. What is wrong is wrong and cannot be justified. Saif may have gone in choice of words this time around.

Empathy – thats all that is needed

Saif Ali Khan has now issued a formal apology for hurting the sentiments of the people.

“I’ve been made aware that one of my statements during an interview, has caused a controversy and hurt people’s sentiments. This was never my intention or meant that way. I would like to sincerely apologise to everybody and withdraw my statement. Lord Ram has always been the symbol of Righteousness & Heroism for me. Adipurush is about celebrating the victory of good over evil and the entire team is working together to present the epic without any distortions.”

Hope this puts an end to the furore created – many people’s livelihood depends on a movie. And for sure there should be no restriction on anyone’s creativity, for anyone’s story to be expressed. But here is also hoping that women should not be considered easy targets to prove someone’s superiority in power, money or physical strength. Hoping we become more sensitive and proactive towards crime against women, women’s kidnapping, post-trauma rehabilitation and stronger laws for women protection.