TODAY’S FEMINISM: FULL OF MYTHS

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Feminism is all about equality between men and women. Feminism is not the desire for women to be more powerful than men. Throughout history, it has been seen that women have been denied equal rights and opportunities which is why the feminist movement emerged – to empower women and raise awareness about it so that women can exercise equal powers and rights too.

But unfortunately, the concept of feminism has been misconceived by many, and a lot of stereotypes have been created around it.

#1. Feminists hate men

NO! That is not even remotely what feminism promotes. Feminists are all about gender equality and have nothing to do with hating men. The entire purpose of feminism is to remove gender-bias from all platforms and aspects of life and hence, the misconception of feminists hating men would only contradict it. All feminists want a world of equal rights and opportunities where they can live as freely as men.

#2. Feminists are unattractive and are not feminine

The fundamentals of feminism are to give women choices, and the free will to choose what they feel is best for them. It’s really wrong to think that women who are feminists don’t like to be feminine and dress and act like wannabe dudes. Being feminine or tomboyish is entirely a woman’s personal choice, and she can choose to be whichever, which is the whole point of feminism.

#3. Feminists are angry bra-burners

This stereotype is indeed hilarious. Bra-burning and promoting no make-up looks has become the representation of feminists. But again, feminism is about giving women a choice. Dressing up should be a choice, not an obligation. No individual should be demanded to dress a certain way and be a certain way, whether men or women.

#4. All women are career-driven women who do not want to get married and do not support stay-at-home mothers

This is not true as getting married or not is entirely an individual’s own life decisions and has nothing to do with them being feminists or not. What feminists are against is the idea of society considering marriage as the only ultimate good thing for women and discriminating and alienating those who choose not to marry or are divorced. A woman should be free to decide how to lead her life, whether it involves getting married and having kids, focusing on her career or both.

#5. Men can’t be feminists

Yet another ridiculous concept. A feminist is anybody who thinks women deserve to be treated equally and respectfully by society for whatever choices they make. Feminism is about raising a voice against the violence, rape, physical and sexual abuse, gender bias in workplaces, social stereotypes that a lot of women face on a day to day basis. And that should not be just a woman’s concern. If there are men who are empathic and concerned about these issues and choose to talk about it and raise awareness about it, then they are feminists too. Feminism is not just liberating women from the stereotypes of the society but also liberating the men from the toxic masculinity of the society and allowing them to be vulnerable and empathetic as well.

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December 9 was the birthday of Sonia Gandhi, President of Indian National Congress, and the hashtag #BarDancerDay was once again trending on our Twitter timelines.

And before I proceed, let me clarify that this was not the first time when the 74YO politician was derogated, both by her rivalries and the common countrymen!

The entire Twitter was blown up with derogatory memes and insulting jokes about Sonia Gandhi’s alleged career as a bar dancer in Italy before meeting Rajeev Gandhi and moving to India. The hashtag #BarDancerDay got so viral that even a Google search on ‘Italian bar dancer’ and ‘bar dancer of Italy in India’ started showing Sonia Gandhi in the featured section.

SONIA GANDHI AFTER WATCHING THIS TREND 😀😀😀😀 #BarDancer pic.twitter.com/GoxpBSg0fC
— कटर हिन्दू (@Anshuvirdhi1) April 23, 2020

But just for the purpose of clarification, Sonia Gandhi was born and brought up in Italy, and she did work as a bartender, not a bar dancer, in an Italian restaurant during her college days to manage her expenses.

But who am I to play jury to the authenticity of any of these claims or everything else the politician has been accused of so far; but the kind of reaction invoked by these hashtags and arguments is appalling, to say the least.

For everyone, who wish for a society to be equal and respectful to every person, despite the class, caste, gender or profession, this was nothing less than daylight torture as the Twitterattis were using the profession of bar dancer as abuse and insult to defame a woman.

I totally Condemn these #अंतरराष्ट्रीय_बार_डांसर_दिवस #BarDancerDay

Rather #KnowYourSonia
Feat. Dr. @Swamy39 ji
Link: https://t.co/7g4Bu5vAP4 pic.twitter.com/queMuacaPr
— Worshipping Peace (@Hinduismispeace) December 9, 2020

The misogyny existing in our Indian society is not something new that you would witness — people in our society are so grossly sexist that it hurts every time you think about it. And this incident proves that it’s not only men but also women who carry the ounce of misogyny in them.

The kind of comments made for the president of INC make you question yourself — that is this the new futuristic India they were planning? Or if we are really living in 2020? Weren’t we supposed to figure out the unemployment issues and the slow down the adverse climate change affect?

The saddest part about this whole incident is that the profession ‘bar dancer’ is being used as an insult to women — as if the women who work in bars and restaurants are filthy and do not deserve the right to live the same way as we do! And the set of men making such comments and insulting Gandhi using the term ‘bar dancer’ are exactly the same set of men who would go out to ‘ such places’, make these women feel inferior, calls them out unsanskari and yet seek enjoyment out of it!!

Sonia’s picture morphed on Marilyn Monroe (Source: Hoax or fact)

And let’s not forget the ever-increasing crime rate against women in our country; reminding us every second that the crime mindsets are just residing among us, probably making another derogatory comment against some woman on Twitter.

By mocking and insulting Sonia Gandhi for just working in a bar, millions of people have intentionally or unintentionally mocked and insulted thousands of those women who works in bars/ restaurants/ clubs to make their ends meet. This incident is a reflection of misogyny — the fact that how our society has evolved as ‘open-minded, modern, yet insensible and misogynistic’ and how far it can go just for the sake of bashing the political rivals.

There were ways to call someone out — one can argue, insult or debate in many respectful ways, a concept that our society is far from — but when it’s a woman at the receiving end of criticism, we forget our lihaaj and limits.

I guess it’s high time (no that high time has been here since forever) that we let go of this selective approach of respecting women and leave any form of prejudice behind. It doesn’t really take a lot to have basic human decency and respect for women (any gender, in fact) and it’s time that we should start practicing it.

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