Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of a thing, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. Abuse can come in many forms, such as physical or verbal maltreatment, injury, assault, violation, rape, unjust practices, crimes, or other types of aggression. To these descriptions, one can also add the Kantian notion of the wrongness of using another human being as means to an end rather than as ends in themselves. Some sources describe abuse as “socially constructed”, which means there may be more or less recognition of the suffering of a victim at different times and societies.
Types of abuse
Abuse can be of different types- physical, emotional (mental, verbal, psychological), sexual (rape, assault, harassment, molestation, pornography production, and possession) neglect (physical neglect, educational neglect, financial or material neglect).
Here are 12 things you must not say to any abuse survivor
You could have avoided it.
Believe me, if they could have prevented it they would have. No one will abuse themselves.
Here is why it would never happen to me.
No one wishes to become a statistic. You cannot put the blame of on the victim making what happened their fault.
God is punishing you for some misdeed by allowing this to happen or It was God’s will
God doesn’t wish to hurt His people.
I don’t believe you.
Respondents being disbelieved is a survivor’s greatest fear and the biggest reason why many cases of abuse go unreported. The least one can do to support abuse survivors is to believe the victim.
Maybe you just need attention.
No matter how strange it sounds, the abuse is not fabricated, unless the victim is proved to have self-harmed.
Don’t talk about it.
It’s upsetting to talk about it but that is the only way to sort through it. Not talking about it won’t make it go away.
Other people have it worse off than you.
This does not cancel or make the abuse any less. Abuse levels cannot be compared from victim to victim and the reactions are not dependent on the number of abuse sufferers. Everyone has a different reaction or tolerance threshold.
Get over it or Learn to move on.
Every survivor wishes to forget it and move on but we need to support them as they struggle
to find their way again.
Put what happened out of your minds.
Easier said than done. Some may suffer from it for days while others may remember it for a lifetime. Both are valid.
It’s no big deal
Abuse is a challenge to heal from. It haunts much after it happens in the form of PTSD, flashbacks, and dreams and can make everyday living a difficult task.
Well, it’s been months, aren’t you over it yet.
Survivors of abuse may not be ready to go back to life as it was. In fact, they may never be ready and may have to create a new life for themselves as they learn to be safe and trust again.
Oh yeah, I know a bunch of people it has happened to.
Of course, it happens to many others but that fact cannot invalidate another’s experience or trauma. Don’t belittle them by making them another number.