Every woman has heard of it, a few lucky ones experience it and some even claim to have it multiple times in one go (like once wasn’t hard enough). Yes, it is the big O that we shall talk about and also try and understand why some women would rather believe that bigfoot exists than to lay in wait for an orgasm at the end of sex.
What Is Orgasm?
So what is this orgasm we are talking about and why is it so elusive? Simply put orgasm is a feeling of “doneness” or satisfaction. It has also been described as the peak height of sexual stimulation and simple biological terms an orgasm is one of the many reflexes our body has.
Now, according to abcnews.go.com, about 75% of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone without other forms of sexual stimulation and of this 10-15% of women never have an orgasm under any circumstances that is they are anorgasmic (*gasps*) and adding to the despair of men around the globe, women mostly fake orgasm, either to spare the feelings of their partners or to end the sex or both.
Why is it Tricky?
The reason behind orgasm being such a slippery fish to catch can be attributed to a lot of things- cultural, physical, emotional, lifestyle-related, medical or sometimes simply to the fact that “it is not happening right!”
Women have always been seen as homemakers and mothers rather than just a plain woman with needs like every other human being (read as men). This cultural image along with religious views which has always portrayed sex in a negative light is one of the main reasons why women don’t orgasm as they believe that sex is only a process for bearing children and it’s not something that has to be enjoyed, a sinful pleasure if put simply.
Orgasm can also be non-existent when there is a severe underlying condition like Multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s disease. Also, gynaecological surgeries like hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus) or cancer surgeries can also cause difficulty in attaining orgasm.
The use of prescription and over-the-counter medication have also shown to meddle with reaching the big O. These include blood pressure medications, antihistamines, antipsychotics, and antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
Now men might be clueless about women for the most parts, but there is one thing they know for sure and that is the fact that all women think a lot!! They are cerebral creatures and that’s no surprise, but sex and orgasm are things that happen at the moment and there’s no stray thought other than what you’re doing at hand. This thought that stems from any number of reasons hinder sex as well as orgasm. So anything that makes a woman uneasy, be it worries about the mounting bills, any unresolved conflict between the couple or anything that has been occupying her mind can obstruct an orgasm. Even her insecurities of how she looks or just the plain old performance anxiety are more than enough for some women. You could say that women need a reason for sex whereas men just need a place (not generalizing though).
Unhealthy Lifestyle affects your sex life
A few lifestyle habits to act as roadblocks to the O-town! Habits like smoking, apart from burning your lungs and killing you slowly, it also decreases the blood flow to your sex organs which reduces your ability to climax. Alcohol too has similar effects on the body (now you know why getting her drunk was never a good idea).
Apart from these things, there’s always the fact that couples just can’t seem to do it right either due to performance anxiety, lack of knowledge and communication. So people, take notes!!
It’s important to understand that every woman is different and thus what works for one might not work for another, but more than that it’s important to understand that there’s more to a woman than just vagina and breasts. Also, sex is a fun activity and not a race (trust me, you don’t want to “come” first even if it was) and it’s imperative that sexual stimuli are properly served to all the erogenous zones. Zones which include ears, lips, neck, back, buttocks and inner thigh (shocker right).
Apart from this, the vagina itself has more to it than it meets the eye. Simple penetrative sex isn’t enough. Spice it up with proper clitoral stimulation (can be oral or using fingers) along with hitting the G-spot is sure to make her orgasm. Experiment alone or with your partner to know and understand what works and what does not.
Above all, it is of utmost importance that you communicate with your partner as to what you want and do not want. Communication is, well one of the keys in order to “hit the right spot”!
So here’s to hope everyone will be on board to O-town! Cheers!!