My Journey of Self-acceptance: Megha Gupta

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Self-acceptance is not an easy journey in a world that wants you to fit into those shallow beauty standards.
You should try some weight loss exercises.
Hey, don’t eat that you will put on weight.
Wear some loose-fit clothes; it will hide your curves.
Oh! You are eating again.
Hearing such taunts was a part of my everyday life while growing up. Friends, relatives, and sometimes even strangers did not spare me from their unsolicited advice on weight loss. The constant body shaming compelled me to recoil into a shell and I defied self-acceptance. To cope, I grew aloof from my friends and avoided family gatherings, gave up my favorite clothes that showed too much skin and even flinched from walking alone on the roads. Meanwhile, I developed frequent episodes of anxiety and panic attacks and I started questioning my worth. Will I ever be loved or liked? – became a recurring thought.

Amidst all the fuss my only solace was dance. I loved to groove over my favourite songs and thus whenever hurt, I would resort to dancing alone in my room until I felt better again.

My Strength

Things started to look up when I married my best friend. He not only accepted me for who I am but also respected my individuality and the choices to live the life I want. I felt empowered being with him. I started regaining my confidence and picked up every single thing that was forbidden due to my weight. Right from wearing short dresses to going on a wandering spree and eating my favorite food without having someone’s eye on my plate – I started doing it all. Thus, started my journey of self-acceptance. I got the confidence of ignoring the nuisance of the world to do the things I loved.

My daughter – Mini Me

Seven years into the marriage I gave birth to my baby girl Avyana. I wanted to give her the best upbringing and made it a priority to fulfill all her wishes. It made me ecstatic to see the miniature version of me springing right in front of me. More than anything I wanted her to be confident and live her life to the fullest without dreading the world. I would push her to be at the forefront of every activity in school and she on her part rocked at everything she participated in. Then, resurfaced my worst fear. My relatives started picking on my 6-year-old daughter for being chubby and asking me to not dress her in short clothes. I feared Avyana suffering through the same things like I did. But her Mumma has learned to face the world and turn down all odds bravely.

I make sure my daughter lives without the fear of being judged, dresses the way she loves, and eats all that she wants to. To encourage her I put up her acting and dancing videos on Instagram I love how my girl is having a lively and fulfilling childhood that I was deprived of.

After all these years it’s not a smooth sail. People at my workplace and family gathering still pick on me for my weight but unlike the old times, I have learned to face them with a befitting retort.

The journey continues…

I owe huge gratitude to my husband for firmly standing beside me through thick and thin and making the journey of self-acceptance easier. Not everyone is lucky to find such a supporting partner and I feel really lucky to have one.
To all the women who face the wrath for their weight – It’s about time we own up to ourselves and give the love our bodies deserve. Stop trying to fit into those fake beauty standards that change every day. Life is too short to bother about the world’s view about your body and your life. Let’s encourage ourselves and everyone around us to start their own journey of self acceptance.

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Popular TV actor Divya Bhatnagar of Yeh Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai fame, who had been diagnosed with Covid-19, died early this week after a cardiac arrest. After her death her friend, Devoleena Bhattacharjee’s uploaded an emotional video on social media where she also alleged that her late friend had been a victim of domestic violence at the hands of her husband Gagan Gabru.

Divya Bhatnagar with husband Gagan Gabru

Later, Divya’s brother found a note left behind in her cupboard in which she detailed the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband, Gagan Gabru. Divya’s brother Devashish revealed that she had left behind a note in which she wrote details about the abuse she suffered in her marriage. Written on November 7 she had stated in the note that Gagan tortures and abuses her. She had also approached the police and filed an NC on November 16 against him, following an episode of domestic abuse.

It is rather shocking to know that one out of 3 women suffer domestic abuse at the hands of their spouses, according to a data. While we may think what makes them so long to report this or why they don’t leave their spouses at the first instance, we need to understand the sociological structure that surrounds marriages in our country.

What is Gender-based Violence?

Violence against women and girls (VAWG) has been defined as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life”.
(UN, 1993)

Here are some other celebrities who faced physical violence from their spouses

Karisma Kapoor, the most top rated actress form the 90s, divorced her husband Sanjay Kapur on grounds of domestic violence. Karisma Kapoor was at the peak of her career when she tied the knot with industrialist and millionaire Sanjay Kapur. After being married for ten years and parenting two children, Karisma Kapoor filed for divorce pleading mental tortured and physical violence. It was speculated that the actress had also filed a case of domestic violence against her husband and his family.

Shweta Tiwari the talented television actress faced a bad marriage not once but twice. She was initially married to actor Raja Chowdhary, and was a victim of physical abuse and domestic violence after which she decided to divorce him. Things got ugly in this love marriage when he started physically and mentally abusing Shweta. She claimed that Raja would come home drunk and physically harm her and had reported against him in police stations. After divorcing Raja, Shweta married Abhinav Kohli but filed a domestic violence complaint against Abhinav in a few years of their marriage. They are separated now.

Doe-eyed yesteryear actress Rati Agnihotri was also a victim of an abusive marriage and physical violence by her husband. When she could no longer tolerate it, she lodged a complaint and walked out after 30 years. “Well, I had certain priorities, the biggest being my son Tanuj. He was the reason I put up with all this pain for 30 years. I also believed in the sanctity of marriage… I believed in love”, said Rati in a media interview when asked why she held on for so long.

While many still continue to bear the brunt of such toxic relationships, some take a stand and put their foot down to eventually call it quits on their partner. Leaving a relationship requires strength and courage and while we hope that no woman or man should have to face violence from a companion, we also have to extend our support and help to those who finally learn to say ‘enough is enough’.

If you are facing abuse or physical violence from your parents, spouse, partner, or in-laws, here are some details you can reach out to for help and guidance:

Legal help: SHEROES

Send a Whatsapp SOS Alert on 7217735372 to NCWIndia