Self-acceptance is not an easy journey in a world that wants you to fit into those shallow beauty standards.
You should try some weight loss exercises.
Hey, don’t eat that you will put on weight.
Wear some loose-fit clothes; it will hide your curves.
Oh! You are eating again.
Hearing such taunts was a part of my everyday life while growing up. Friends, relatives, and sometimes even strangers did not spare me from their unsolicited advice on weight loss. The constant body shaming compelled me to recoil into a shell and I defied self-acceptance. To cope, I grew aloof from my friends and avoided family gatherings, gave up my favorite clothes that showed too much skin and even flinched from walking alone on the roads. Meanwhile, I developed frequent episodes of anxiety and panic attacks and I started questioning my worth. Will I ever be loved or liked? – became a recurring thought.
Amidst all the fuss my only solace was dance. I loved to groove over my favourite songs and thus whenever hurt, I would resort to dancing alone in my room until I felt better again.
Things started to look up when I married my best friend. He not only accepted me for who I am but also respected my individuality and the choices to live the life I want. I felt empowered being with him. I started regaining my confidence and picked up every single thing that was forbidden due to my weight. Right from wearing short dresses to going on a wandering spree and eating my favorite food without having someone’s eye on my plate – I started doing it all. Thus, started my journey of self-acceptance. I got the confidence of ignoring the nuisance of the world to do the things I loved.
My daughter – Mini Me
Seven years into the marriage I gave birth to my baby girl Avyana. I wanted to give her the best upbringing and made it a priority to fulfill all her wishes. It made me ecstatic to see the miniature version of me springing right in front of me. More than anything I wanted her to be confident and live her life to the fullest without dreading the world. I would push her to be at the forefront of every activity in school and she on her part rocked at everything she participated in. Then, resurfaced my worst fear. My relatives started picking on my 6-year-old daughter for being chubby and asking me to not dress her in short clothes. I feared Avyana suffering through the same things like I did. But her Mumma has learned to face the world and turn down all odds bravely.
I make sure my daughter lives without the fear of being judged, dresses the way she loves, and eats all that she wants to. To encourage her I put up her acting and dancing videos on Instagram I love how my girl is having a lively and fulfilling childhood that I was deprived of.
After all these years it’s not a smooth sail. People at my workplace and family gathering still pick on me for my weight but unlike the old times, I have learned to face them with a befitting retort.
The journey continues…
I owe huge gratitude to my husband for firmly standing beside me through thick and thin and making the journey of self-acceptance easier. Not everyone is lucky to find such a supporting partner and I feel really lucky to have one.
To all the women who face the wrath for their weight – It’s about time we own up to ourselves and give the love our bodies deserve. Stop trying to fit into those fake beauty standards that change every day. Life is too short to bother about the world’s view about your body and your life. Let’s encourage ourselves and everyone around us to start their own journey of self acceptance.
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