“My Husband Encouraged Me To Breastfeed Our Child — In Public!” - Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle

Spread the love

How progressive have we become? How gender-neutral society were we able to build? How much equal opportunities did we give to our women?

I often chance to think about these questions whenever I stumble upon social media sites. The wrath and agitation we have shown to our women are unforgivable! From their freedom to dress to the kind of work they wish to do to even the way they dream of raising their kids — we, as a nation, as a society, have failed — by always judging them.

And if you think that my assumption is limited to small towns and villages, this story will change your perception. I bring a tale from the city of dreams — Mumbai — a tale of what judgement looks like!

As we are coming closer to the end of World Breastfeeding Week, I decided to reach out to our ordinary, regular, and invisible moms who are defying the rules they have been bound to — the rules of raising a kid, the rules of being an ideal mother and the rules of breastfeeding.

If you are one of them who has been judged for feeding their babies publicly because it was your breast you used to feed, you need to read the story of this supermom who didn’t give a damn to the blabbers!

“As a first-time parent, there are many things that you don’t know about. But there was one thing that I definitely was sure of. Breastfeeding my kid for as long as possible,” Smrity Sharma is a mother of a 4.5YO boy who decided to ignore all the gyaans coming her way.

“My Husband Encouraged Me To Breastfeeding Our Child — In Public!” — Smrity with her kid, Ayaan

Smrity is a working mom who was back to the pavilion in just four months of delivering her baby. “I had started building a stash and would pump at work and at night to ensure that the baby always had enough milk stored for the whole day while I was gone. The biggest challenge came my way when I finally decided that the baby was old enough to be taken out to cafes and restaurants and shopping. The first time, we ventured out, I pumped and took milk in a bottle to feed him while outdoors. But he refused to take the bottle with me around. I knew what my only option was, and my husband was supportive, and that’s how we started feeding in public,” she continues.

There had been instances when she got “the look” from people (all of them women), and some even had the audacity to comment or give advice. “One such advice came my way when I was at the airport waiting area, feeding my baby. He was eight months old then. The woman sitting next to me pointed out, “there is a feeding lounge that you can use.” I nodded and continued feeding right there. A few minutes later, she again said, “I think you should go to the feeding lounge. People around might be uncomfortable.” I simply smiled again. A few minutes later, she shifted to another bay. So she was the one feeling uncomfortable after all. Sometimes, the best retort is not to say anything and continue doing your thing,” Smrity smiles.

Another incident which she shared was from one of her road trips, “My friend’s wife, also a mother to a kid as old as mine, enquired about my baby food bag. She thought perhaps I had forgotten to take it. I told her that I breastfed my baby, and she gave me some gyaan about how she stopped breastfeeding since it was so hectic, inconvenient. She suggested that I stop feeding too and reclaim my life. I just smiled to end the conversation. I am not sure what milk her kid was on, but on the way, it got curdled and couldn’t be fed to the baby. The baby was crying out of hunger, and she very sheepishly requested if I could breastfeed her baby. We bonded that day, and she told me how her milk wasn’t enough, and the regular taanas from her mother and sister in law for not breastfeeding the baby made her come up with this “cooler” narrative. This just reinstated my belief in never judging what a mother does or doesn’t.”

She breastfed her boy, Ayaan, for 3.5 years and did all her work, road trips, etc. without any hindrance. Smrity is the Head of Content and Community at WittyFeed — a Journalist, with a 15-year experience in content creation. Connect with her on Instagram to listen to more of her path-breaking stories.

And while I am annoying more carefree moms to share their tales, I am also encouraging them not to give up. Dear moms, do not give up on your dreams, do not hide in the closet due to the society — be you, be what you are and show your kid the world you believe in!

#Breastfeeding is bliss. Don’t let your child be deprived of it!

Spread the love

To be a sick fat woman in this world is a curse I wouldn’t wish on my enemy too. Why do I say this? Well, as if being a woman wasn’t enough already, being chronically ill with an invisible disease is the worst thing you can ask for. Because you look healthy on the outside without any visible scars or bruises, so convincing someone, at times even doctors, about your symptoms is an uphill task. Women are seldom taken seriously for their aches and pains as it is. Add to all this a fat body and voila- that suddenly becomes the reason for all your problems. As if thin people never fall sick?

I was recently diagnosed with my pain as being obese. And what did it turn or to be? A viral infection. Yes. Well, being diagnosed as fat for my symptoms is not new. I have been a victim of medical fatphobia for years. It took me years to get a diagnosis and a treatment plan for my fibromyalgia from doctors. What can you expect anyway from a disease that cannot be seen or detected through various medical tests? Conclusion- must be her weight. Also, after childbirth, women do experience backaches and joint pains, right? Wrong!

Being fat is a condition. It is not a disease. There are practically zero diseases that affect only and only overweight people, though risk factors may be higher for them. But there is no disease that affects only fat people. However, the most annoying thing here is when the doctors immediately jump to a conclusion seeing the body size as the root cause of everything before asking or taking into account the lifestyle, medical conditions, and history of the patient. So basic, right? Oh, how many times has this been overlooked? Health and weight are two different things. A fat person can be healthy and a thin person can be sick and vice versa.

Fat people already know that they are fat

Not everyone is overweight because of a sedentary lifestyle or overeating. Chances are that medical conditions like PCOD, insulin resistance, thyroid, pregnancy, and even side effects of certain medicines can lead to weight gain. While many find it easy to shed weight for many others it is not an easy thing and they may have spent years trying to lose weight through diets and exercises without much result. But the whole point is, when you go to a doctor for a problem, they have to treat you, provide relief and find the cause of your complaint regardless of your size.

“I was wrongly diagnosed by several doctors for years until in 2019 we found that I had grade 3 spondylolisthesis. Medical Fatphobia is one of the biggest problems in the world where doctors assume that everything wrong in a fat patient’s body is because of their weight. I couldn’t even get up from my bed for about 2 months in 2014 but yet not a single doctor asked me to get an MRI and just blamed the situation on a pinched nerve because of my weight. Had the issue been diagnosed properly back then itself I probably wouldn’t be suffering as much now.”

It wasn’t until last year when she met a few top spine surgeons of the country who thankfully did not focus on her weight. “In fact, one doctor in Mumbai told me that any other person with the grade 3 spondylolisthesis would have been on a stretcher by now but because I am a dancer, my core muscles are quite strong and are able to hold my body and spine. Doctors cannot generalize and treat someone on the basis of weight alone”, says Tanvi Ravishankar, a model & social media influencer who goes by the name The Chubby Twirler.

Doctors cannot dismiss a patient in excruciating pain saying “Your pain is because of obesity, lose 10 kgs and you will be fine”. This is exactly what was told to me. The red rashes on my legs were dismissed as varicose veins when they were due to some virus. And if you thought that how can doctors be like this, well here are a few more instances to tell you how deep-rooted medical fatphobia is.

Fatphobia has no place in medical industry

Your size shouldn’t decide the care you deserve. Everybody has an equal right to a fair diagnosis and healthcare and medical professionals need to drop this bias and stop pushing obesity as the cause for everything. Of course, not all doctors fat-shame or are fatphobic. It is for some truly wonderful doctors that I can say am living a good quality of life despite my many medical problems. But fear of being judged for your size should not be the reason anyone should have to refrain from seeking medical care for themselves or go around doctor shopping just to find someone who will treat them for beyond their size.

Also Read | This Big, Bold & Beautiful Influencer Is Smashing Body Stereotypes