How Motherhood Gave This Woman A New Muse In Her Life!

Highlights

People carry their opinion about mothers and motherhood.

Why women are expected to pause their career after becoming a mother?

Neha Vinayaka, a New Jersey-based photographer, shares her experience.

Equal parenting matters and should be for everyone!

How COVID-19 impacted her whole life?

Her message to other working mothers.

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What’s the most beautifully unexplainable thing in life? Something that has all the logic behind it but yet it seems to be so much indescribable!

It is probably the journey of motherhood — the beautiful transformation of a girl into a woman and then a warrior who fights all odds to bring a new life to this galaxy!!

Now, this could be really subjective — people carry their opinion about mothers and motherhood. While some believe that it puts an end to a woman’s career, others think that a woman herself should pause her career for her kid. From different myths to societal barriers, there are so many things that a woman comes across — only to find a better life for her kid — a better place for herself — where she’s not expected to make any sort of sacrifices, and she gets to choose her own way to live the life.

Sounds fictitious? I would have said yes if I was writing this half a century back — but the 2000s era have shown me some of those gritty women who fought odds to follow their dreams while raising their kids in the best possible way!

This Mother’s Day, one of those gritty women shared her experience with me — the journey of her motherhood and the tactics which she adopted to ensure that her kid grows up in a safe and beautiful world!

Neha Vinayaka is a New Jersey-based photographer who recently moved back to India. While being a full time working professional and a 5YO kid’s mum, and of course the coronavirus pandemic, she did a lot of juggling.

After getting married, the Indore based woman moved to the USA with her husband. While she had an MBA, travelling and photography was her real call!

Soon she became a suggested Instagram user, and after becoming a mother, she got her muse. She started capturing every moment of his son’s life — from his newborn moments to his sitter milestone, to when he started walking — and she still captures it.

Neha’s entire motherhood became so rewarding that it helped her get into her dream job, and she finally started her photography venture.

“It wasn’t easy! In the US, we didn’t have any support system. So it was my husband who supported me, and that’s how I balanced my motherhood duties along with my work!”
says Neha, who has a 5YO kid son, Nivaan

While the work eventually got smooth, she got in a process, and it was her own mental and physical health that she had to take care of! “I have come out of two chronic lifestyle impacting diseases, Cholinergic Urticaria and Dyshidrotic Eczema, which debilitated my confidence and social presence for almost six to seven years. But I didn’t give up, I changed my entire lifestyle to an organic and sustainable one, and this became one of the biggest reasons why I started going outdoors and doing photographing in the first place…because it got my life back, I was appreciated as a person, and that made me happy,” she shares.

So while it wasn’t easy to fight back, Neha never really gave up! After becoming a mother, one thing that she realized was there is a need for equity in the division of labour between husband and wife, especially after they become parents — equal parenting matters!

And while the pandemic impacted her parenting life, it also impacted her professional life. Being a mother, she says, it’s not easy to manage kids, work, home and yourself! “I lost many clients and projects which not only impacted my professional but also my financial life. I innovated and pivoted to a different style of photography (outdoor newborn photography – contactless newborn session) to get my business on track,” she continued.

And now that she is back in the homeland, she is looking forward to gradually converting her current business model to a more sustainable one. “I want to bring a change in the photography domain so that there is a better and more environmentally friendly way of doing business. I would like to educate my clients that less is more and what matters in photos is the emotions and not the fancy or heavily decorated prop based setups that will eventually land in our landfills and cause earth more harm,” she says.

“During our college days, we had a very limited scope that went beyond formal education. Talent was not a primary aspect of living, and therefore coming from that background, it took me a while to figure out my passion, that my heart lies in this creative genre. I would soon be hitting 40, and my business is still just a few years old. So this whole loss of time is my biggest regret. People often say that age is just a number. But ask a working mother, and she might tell you that better!”
Neha says on asking her if she holds any regret!

Neha believes that there is no end to a mothers’ love and commitment towards her child, but it is equally important that she builds a strong support system around her that can alleviate her stress and bring holistic happiness to herself, her kid and the family. She should not shy away from delegating duties to her partner, friends or any close member of her family!

This #MothersDay, Infano sends a warm hug to all those parents, especially mothers, who are fighting the pandemic, managing the work, raising their kids — all well beautifully and graciously!

Let us tell you that you are a warrior, and you deserve all the love and happiness around you! #HappyMothersDay

Image Copyrights: Neha Vinayaka Photography

Who are these men?

Whoever they are, for sure they are aplenty. Such men are all around us. Where does the need to humiliate a woman for another man’s failure arise from? Is it because of a troubled mind? A bad upbringing? A traumatized childhood? What makes him think that women are punching bags? This mentality is the rape mentality. These are the same people who indulge in hitting wives, molesting and abusing the girls in their houses and outside, catcalling, teasing, and groping women on streets. These are no less than actual rapists and pedophiles, for this is probably the conditioning that takes place for a rapist to be born.

They may not be successful in their lives and their careers hence they try to feel powerful by controlling women, by knowing that they have this power to abuse their bodies and satisfy themselves. How many such men can we weed out? For it is not a one time job. They exist in millions probably. They are the result of a failed society and value system of years. Of generations that have looked at women as objects of sex and pleasure or as beings made to serve men. As the weaker sex who has to bear the brunt of men silently as a wife, a daughter, a sister.

And this mentality cannot be changed overnight. This is the job of an entire generation. And there are so many factors at play here- social, economic, cultural, religious. Unless women are respected in each of these spheres and given equal status- are treated as contemporaries and not subordinates, are seen as human beings and not boobs and vaginas– no change is going to come about.

This is why we cry feminism; this fight for equal status. So that the coming generations may not go through what we have. So that our sons grow up seeing the females around them as equals. This onus is on each one of us. To raise better men. To identify sexism and patriarchy in our own homes and around us, and to nip it at its sight. To identify such perpetrators and take them to task. To create a good social environment with better education and opportunities. To not be a maa- behen ki gaali.

Infano condemns such acts and invites reader opinion on the same. Tell us how you feel about this in the comments. #InfanoOpinion