Many Women In India Still Await Their Independence Day

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More than seven decades of independence and my coursemate still look for permissions to step out of home — my maid has to ask her husband every year if she can get their daughter in the next grade — my colleague seeks her husband’s permission whenever she wants to wear a dress (say a little revealing clothes in his word) — and my neighbour mostly stay at home because sharif ladkiyaan zyada nahi ghumti!

15th August — whenever I think of this day — a part of me feels like trodden off!

We, women, have got accustomed to this modern feminine patriarchy so much that we seek validations — we seek acknowledgements and acceptance to our deeds — so much that we have almost forgotten that we are no less than men in society. We are creators and not just some sort of labels.

Before the urban feministas lash out on me saying how we have evolved and grown over time — and how we are leading the nation flawlessly; let’s clear that in a population of 1.3 billion people, only approximately 48% are women.

Out of 497 million women, only close to 65% of women are literate. Oh, is that pretty high?

An ActionAid UK report found that ’80 % of women in India had experienced sexual harassment ranging from unwanted comments, being groped or assaulted.’ Now that would be pretty low for you? Ain’t it?

While Wikipedia has tried its best to glorify the improved numbers of the different aspects of conditions of women in India, my question is why we are content with such numbers? Why are we satisfied with small inclinations in numbers and not really fighting for it?

Whenever I think of this, I presume that it’s us, the women, who are somehow responsible for this condition of ours. We have been conditioned to think, behave and act in a certain way for generations, and now the whole act of unlearning is taking a toll on us as well as the society.

Have you been to smaller towns and villages? Or stayed there for long periods? From prioritising their husband’s needs over their own, these women are conditioned to live like this — by giving up on their dreams and their fate. And while me or you are fighting, struggling and working hard to fulfil our desires, these women are not. Well, they cannot. Brutal but honest!

Our generation old customs have trained us to live in a particular way. We have forgotten to celebrate our small achievements and credit our success. In a country where more than half of the male population marry only to get a full time unpaid maid for his family, are we really eligible to say that we are independent? Technically yes, but practically no!

And the irony is while such men love to be ‘retrospective progressive’, these are the ones who find it hard to digest foregoing women in their family or society.

While more women are going to college, fewer are working. In fact they are performing nearly ten times the unpaid care work as men. And while I am typing this leisurely from my room, a lot of girls are slogging off somewhere in the farm, mines, pond, house etc. in the scorching heat.

And by now, I’m assuming a lot of men would already be cursing me for writing this, but it’s high time to accept this fact — that women are suppressed in our nation, brutally. And please, no need to compare it with other nations. While I genuinely support women around the world, I’m more concerned about our bhartiya naari at this point in time.

From gender pay gap to child marriage, acid attack, domestic violence, dowry, foeticide, rape and sexual harassments, trafficking, accusations of witchcraft and what not — we are facing it all, and we need a break!

The women of our country need their independence, and I don’t know how long we will have to wait or fight for it. We are yet to get that 15th August of ours which we can celebrate wholeheartedly without a pinch of dejection in the heart.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article above are those of the authors’ and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of this publishing house. Unless otherwise noted, the author is writing in his/her personal capacity. They are not intended and should not be thought to represent official ideas, attitudes, or policies of any agency or institution.

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A few days back, Saif Ali Khan discussed his upcoming film Adipurush, which is all set to begin shooting early next year, in an interview with a leading newspaper. Saif plays the character of Lankesh in the film. In the interview, he mentioned that the director had tried to make Ravan humane in the film and justify Ravan’s abduction of Sita and the war against Ram.

“It’s interesting to play a demon king, less strictures in that. But we will make him humane, up the entertainment quotient, justify his abduction of Sita and the war with Ram as revenge for what was done to his sister Surpanakha by Lakshman, who cut off her nose.“

This statement did not go down well with netizens, with them soon trending #ArrestSaifAliKhan.

What hurt more – Blasphemy or Abduction?

A quick glance on the outrage on social media makes one realize that majority of the people were upset about Saif Ali Khan trying to give a positive angle to Ravan, who went against Ram and Sita, whom they worshipped. We have seen in recent times that our country has become sensitive in matters related to religion. And the fact that Saif is of a minority religion gives it a different angle altogether.

We have been taught the scriptures in a particular way from our childhood, the clear demarcation between the good and the bad. Were people more hurt because someone was trying to change their outlook about what they have been believing so far? Did Saif’s statement seem blasphemous (you cannot get away by speaking about our Gods)? Did the justification of abduction cross their minds?

You cannot justify abduction

The outrage over the blasphemy overshadowed the point that abduction or forceful holding of woman of any religion, of any stature, of anyone is not acceptable. Saif would not have meant any harm, but making loose comments such as this, does make crimes like these looks less hideous.

In 2018, the whole nation went in shock over the Kathua abduction case. A couple of years back a top Malayalam actress was abducted and molested and the way the abduction happened sent shock waves in the country. These are just isolated incidents that caught national attention. According to the latest NCRB data, in 2019, crimes against women registered a 7.3 percent increase from 2018, with kidnapping & abduction of women at a shocking percentage of 17.9 percent.

The trauma that a kidnapping survivor goes through is unimaginable. In fact, even the scriptures show the pain and hurt that Sita had to go through for years after her release. We can just to start to imagine how it will be for a common woman in today’s times.

Where to draw the line on creativity?

The ability to look into an incident from all angles and unbiasedly is a trait that only a few of us are blessed with. We have had many writers and film makers who try to show a story from the antagonist’s point of view. In fact, such stories broaden our mindset, helps us approach life and incidents with a different perspective, helps us being more empathetic. But there is surely a difference between expressing what incidents led a person into doing something wrong and to defend wrongful acts. What is wrong is wrong and cannot be justified. Saif may have gone in choice of words this time around.

Empathy – thats all that is needed

Saif Ali Khan has now issued a formal apology for hurting the sentiments of the people.

“I’ve been made aware that one of my statements during an interview, has caused a controversy and hurt people’s sentiments. This was never my intention or meant that way. I would like to sincerely apologise to everybody and withdraw my statement. Lord Ram has always been the symbol of Righteousness & Heroism for me. Adipurush is about celebrating the victory of good over evil and the entire team is working together to present the epic without any distortions.”

Hope this puts an end to the furore created – many people’s livelihood depends on a movie. And for sure there should be no restriction on anyone’s creativity, for anyone’s story to be expressed. But here is also hoping that women should not be considered easy targets to prove someone’s superiority in power, money or physical strength. Hoping we become more sensitive and proactive towards crime against women, women’s kidnapping, post-trauma rehabilitation and stronger laws for women protection.