Man Arrested For Flashing At Bengaluru Based Writer!

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“Is flashing an offence in India?”, asks Nupur Saraswat, a Bengaluru based writer who came out for help on Instagram yesterday.

“I’ve lived in this house for over one month now. And I’ve never seen this man before. His distance/ view of my terrace is in the forth slide. He waited there for hours looking at me, which made me uneasy but not to the extent that I needed to ask him to fuck off. Then at a point when he knew I was looking, he pulled his pants down and held his penis at me. Smiling that FUCKING smile.

He is two, TWO buildings away from me. I live alone in the terrace house. I have informed my landlords. The next step is to figure out a way to get legal help. Is flashing an offence in India? Is there a helpline I can call? And how do I make sure that something happens and I am not left in a position where this person a) knows I have reported him, and b) is scot-free.

The last picture is of me, before this. Before I realized that I was about to feel very very threatened in a house, I have come to love. Before I would be shaking in anger and embarrassment (????) and second-guessing if it is my solitude that provoked him or my outfit, I could SCREAM right now, but I want to channel my anger in a tactical way. So if YOU can help me, please DM me,” posted the woman on Instagram.

So what happened next? Tons of people shared their gyaan on whether flashing is really an offence. What should a woman do if some bottlehead cannot keep his organs inside his pants?

Nupur said that people very kind enough to help her via different mediums — different NGOs, helplines including NCW & 1091, and social media accounts were suggested to her — but also a lot of them told her that it is OKAY and such cases often happens with women and that she must forget about this and move on.

But Nupur believes that this is what gives those men courage to do it more often, as they think that women are mostly afraid; and some of them even take their chuppi as a form of consent and keeps on doing more traumatic nuisance than this.

Nupur knew that this needed to be stopped. She knew that this needs some repercussions if not a legal action. She reached out to every possible helpline number of Karnataka & India, but she found that most of these numbers weren’t really helpful. “They were either out of service or not reachable. I wonder how can they still exist on Google and what would someone do if she really needs help! This is so terrifying,” she told Infano.

Nevertheless, she was determined to teach that man a lesson, and she wanted that to be quick as she wasn’t sure if he lived in that area or was just a visitor. Moreover, that one incident didn’t let her sleep whole night, and the trauma and possibility of something similar happening again was scaring her more.

After consulting with her friends, she dialled 100 which redirected her to the Koramangala Police Station and further to the Viveknagar Police Station as for the former one it was out of the jurisdiction area.

The very next day of this incident, the 4th block of Koramangala witnessed eight cops and four police vans in the area. The officers took no time in guarding out the man, and they took him to the police station to do the needful.

When asked about this, Nupur said that there was no female officer with the team, but the male officers did ask her if she wanted to take another cab/ auto. She was introduced to the lady officer on reaching the station, and she was asked whether she wanted to do press charges against the man or not. She highly recommends other women to call a lady officer while calling the police no matter what.

“I will say this, as a 5’2 woman surrounded by 4 cop cars and 8 male officers and the entirety of the neighbourhood looking at me for “what’s going on”— I don’t wish it on anyone. But i am glad I went thru it because only after it all I found out the predator had been flashing and harassing a 15-year-old in the neighbourhood too. I felt so must safer and reassured by the professional badassery of Inspector Jahida of Viveknagar station, who arrested the wee man and promised me corrective recourse and took my complaint with kindness. When this stranger tried to turn the narrative by saying I am his ex, she believed in me instead. Thanks, @blrcitypolice for getting this done before breakfast ✊🏽,” she concluded in her latest Instagram post.

Soon after this, her Instagram DM was filled with queries/ advice for similar cases, several women shared their personal experience with her, and a lot of people applauded her for this bold step.

Nupur says a part of her was unable to accept if it really happened with her — we hear so many about so many cases, but it does scare us every time we hear it from someone we know!

Though a lot of people told her that this was a normal incident, she knew it wasn’t — and no matter how hard you try not to think about, it won’t go away she says. It will scare you every time you step out, every time a man gives you a creepy look and every time you think of travelling alone.

Infano reached out to Nupur to listen to her horrific experience and we really appreciate her decision. #InfanoWomen

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I often lie awake at night wondering if this is indeed the 21st century that we’re living in. Because given the prejudices women continue to face in society even today – it doesn’t seem so.

As a woman, there are countless times when people around you undermine you. Some of us put our heads down and choose ignorance as a way to cope. Some of us retort and give it back in equal measure. And while all of us may have our own ways to process what we receive, it’s high time the world stops undermining us, RIGHT?!

Undermining of women’s efforts and societal impacts has been going on for too long. Despite all the amazing things that women do and achieve in life, we still have to hear unsolicited opinions and statements that are no less than infuriating.

It’s A Girl!

It all begins right from the time we are born. Hell, sometimes even before! In India, female foeticide continues to take place even today. The sad truth is we live in a country where giving birth to a girl is still looked down upon by many. Thankfully, times are changing, and people are slowly letting go of such age-old thoughts and ideals. However, we still have a long, long way to go. Until we arrive at a time when society experiences equal happiness and joy at the birth of a child irrespective of its gender, we must continue to fight this fight.

Behave Like A Girl.

But it doesn’t just stop at birth, does it? As girls grow older, they remain the subjects of misogyny. “Don’t play too much in the sun, you’ll get dark”, “Girls don’t play with boys, girls play with girls”, “You must learn how to dress, sit, and behave like a girl”. UGH! It’s truly disheartening how, as girls, we spend the formative years of our lives constantly trying to adjust and adapt only to please the expectations of our elders and society.

Don’t Go Out, Just Stay At Home.

Fast forward a couple of years, and the bias magnifies. “Don’t stay out too late”, “Girls from decent families don’t drink and smoke”, “You can’t have a boyfriend” …..we wish there were an end to these statements.

Ever wonder if the boys around us have to adhere to these ridiculous rules? Hard to imagine. While growing up, we seldom see the boys having to live up to these moral standards. In fact, if they happen to drink, smoke, have girlfriends, or party late into the night, they’re deemed to be cool studs with an exciting social life.

See a woman doing the same? She’ll most likely be considered a slut and a woman with a loose character.

Focus On Your Marriage. Not A Career!

Ah, the age-old regressive thought where a woman has to choose between her work and her husband. Now, don’t get me wrong. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with a woman choosing her work over marriage or vice versa – as long as the decision is hers. If someone wishes to choose to be a housewife, so be it. If someone wishes to advance in their career and work post marriage, so be it. What angers me is that, most often, women are not the ones making their own decisions. They are forced to quit their jobs and urged to “settle down” with their husbands. And even if they do work, their career needs are almost always downplayed compared to their partner’s.

Why Don’t You Have Kids Yet?

If dictating and controlling our marriage and work choices isn’t enough, we are also constantly pressured to have children. Privacy is a concept long forgotten in India, so much so that a young married couple with no kids end up raising quite a few eyebrows. The wife, especially, is hounded by relatives and family pestering to know why they haven’t had kids yet.

Lest a couple where both partners are working decide to have children, it’s always the mother who is assumed and expected to quit her job and take care of the child. Almost as if men staying home and taking care of children is a concept unheard of entirely.

You see, there is a sad, tragic pattern that exists here. All our lives, right from the time we are born until we give birth to our own, we are subject to bias, sexism, and discrimination. Yes, men and women are different – both have their own qualities, attributes, and strengths – that ultimately make them equal!

All we are trying to say is stop undermining and trying to shape us into the ideal woman you want us to be. We are so much more than that.

3 thoughts on “Man Arrested For Flashing At Bengaluru Based Writer!”

Ahmed Hassan

November 10, 2020 at 9:59 am

she is beautiful
- Arya Kaur
  
  November 13, 2020 at 4:46 am
  
  Is that what your take away is, from this woman’s ordeal? The mindset of people like you is equally to blame. You managed to objectify her, and missed the point of this article entirely. Congratulations.
Jalees

November 10, 2020 at 5:06 pm

No, this is not a normal incident and I am glad that she spoke up. I just pray for her safety and her future prosperity. I believe, as said by the writer, man do take advantage of their chuppi and they need to be exposed but with the use of a proper channel of trial and order.