Holi In Vrindavan: Widows And Their Pain!

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If you are someone who loves the festival of colours, you’d definitely have heard the name of Vrindavan!

This small town in Mathura is globally famous for its unmatched Holi celebrations and the tales of Radha-Krishna’s love stories.

The one-month-long Holi celebrations in Vrindavan, Barsana, Nandgaon, Govardhan and Mathura, are something almost every person wants to witness once in their lifetime.

Unfortunately, the very same town of Vrindavan, which is known for one of the greatest love stories of history, has a much darker story to tell today ― the town which was known for Krishna’s Raas Leelas is slowly becoming the city of widows today!

Vrindavan is one of the few cities where widows route to ― making it one of the biggest homes to their clan. These women are often abandoned by their families after their husband’s death, while a few of them choose to relocate voluntarily to spend a colourless remote, quiet life.

One way or another, they are left with almost nothing and live off the stipend they receive from the governmental NGOs or are forced to beg on the streets.

Widows in India are considered inauspicious and are often barred from celebrating festivals or even family gatherings and weddings. But Holi in Vrindavan brings some happiness, colour and life to the colourless lives of these women ― breaking centuries of stereotypes and redefining traditions to this overlooked section of society.

This Holi, Infano got a chance to interact with some of these women ― witness their life from inside out and understand what Holi in Vrindavan means to them!

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“I have no words to express my joy. I never imagined that I would get the opportunity to play Holi at a temple,” said one woman. “I used to play Holi earlier also but not with so many people,” exclaimed another!

“After my husband’s death, I was abandoned in Vrindavan. Ever since, I never went back to my native place. Vrindavan is my home now. Most of the widows here depend on prasad/ bandaras (free food) for their meals,” share one old lady from West Bengal.

_{India is believed to have tens of millions of widows, and many of them moved to the town to attain solace. You will find them sitting cross-legged within the temple premises, dressed in plain white and often begging.}
_Census

Most widows hail from poor families ― from the eastern states of West Bengal, Bihar, Jharkhand and Orissa. They stay in ashrams or shelter homes spread across Vrindavan and Govardhan. Though the ashrams have free common lodging and washroom facilities, the shelters are often cramped. Very few of them have cooking arrangements, but mostly, these women need to arrange their own food.

The irony is Vrindavan is considered one of the holiest places in India. The town where women were considered as Krishna’s Gopis is now witnessing women in white ― begging on streets amidst crowd and dirt.

Another woman I talked with said, “I don’t remember when I left my home. It’s been so many years. I remember I was ignored. People stopped loving me after my husband died. I knew of Vrindavan via one of my distant relatives. I never thought that this would become my home someday. I know the ins and outs now, and recognise the locals. But I still feel something is missing in my life. Anyway, I know I will be here till my last breath. By the way, have you ever celebrated Holi here?”

It’s heart wrenching to see how society can tie one woman’s life with a man and how it can end hers with his death!

To all the people reading this, when you visit Vrindavan next time, take a moment out for these women ― listen to their heart out, share something if you can and spread smiles together. Happy Holi! 🙂

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Spending time with family, friends, and colleagues can be a great way to get in the Diwali spirit, but it also has the potential to be difficult if someone is struggling with a mental health disorder.

Whether it’s coping mechanisms to deal with the social aspect of the festive season or tips for improving your general mood, this blog post will help prepare you for this tough time of year.

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The festive season is a busy time for everyone. Spending time with family, friends, and colleagues can be a great way to get in the Christmas spirit, but it also has the potential to be difficult if someone is struggling with a mental health disorder.

This can be a difficult time of year for many people. It’s a time that only comes once a year, which means that there’s no escaping from it. That said, there are ways to make the festive season a bit more tolerable. Whether it’s coping mechanisms to deal with the social aspect of the festive season or tips for improving your general mood, this blog post will help prepare you for this tough time of year.

Why are people with a mental health disorder more at risk during this time of year?

The festive season can be an especially difficult time for people who are at risk of mental health disorders. Increased alcohol consumption, weight gain, sleep deprivation, and financial stress can all contribute to this increased risk.

Festivals and celebrations are even more stressful for women. As most women take the forefront and handle the organizing and taking care of the traditions, rituals, customs that are carried on during this time, also the preparation of food, cleaning the house and decorating it are overseen by them in many traditional Indian settings. Though many enjoy it, this may also take a toll on women’s health and this is something we hardly consider.

It’s not always easy to cope with the demands of socializing. Sometimes it can feel like there’s no time for anything other than work or family. Social prescribing is a way of using existing resources to reduce stress, isolation, and anxiety. It could involve visiting your GP, seeing your psychotherapist or engaging with friends and family.

Coping tips for the festive season

During the holidays, some people feel their mood worsen as they overindulge. This holiday season, especially with the pandemic and loss of many loved ones, sadness, anxiety, and depression may be rampant.

Whether you’re feeling pressure to be joyful or another negative emotion, take a break from technology and try one of these coping tips to beat the lows around the festive season.

On top of battling depression beforehand, ringing in the holiday season may deepen it for some people. From using coping tips to make it through the season to checking in with loved ones, there are ways to get through this difficult time.

While feelings of anxiety and stress can often get the better of some people, according to Alford you can combat those low spirits with certain coping tips. Here are some approaches to dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression around this time of the year.

Acknowledge and address your feelings

. If you avoid whatever it is you’re feeling, that will not solve the problem but postpone it. For example, if someone close to you has passed away recently or if you’re having a relationship issue with your mother, friend or brother – it’s absolutely normal to not be in the mood for celebration and fun. You don’t have to force yourself to be happy just because you think the time of the year demands it.

Rejoice in the now and be genuine

With holiday stress, don’t try to compare yourself to prior years–you are always changing! For happiness inspiration year-round, consider one of their free workshops. When you feel stressed, unplug from social media and apps to be present for this time of year. It may seem like a good idea to document your holidays for Instagram, but in reality, it can make you feel pressured and anxious. Prioritize the moments with friends and family over any opportunities to snap a picture. Remember that documenting everything does not mean anything is better!

Don’t say yes when you really mean no

Overwhelmed? free yourself from peer pressure and try to set some boundaries, don’t feel pressured to overindulge, and remember that self-care is important. This is the time to take care of yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in the holiday season and forget about yourself. But this is arguably the most important time of year to be self-care-oriented. Don’t focus on everyone else and their needs, take some time for yourself. This is the perfect time to catch up on your favorite television shows or watch a movie, read a book or spend some time doing things that make you happy.

For more blog posts on mental health disorder by Infano, click here.