Mental Health Check: Are You The “I’m too independent,” Or “I’m too clingy and needy” Type?

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

April 12, 2023

Highlights

What does it mean to be needy or dependent?
What does it mean to be independent and self-reliant?
Why is it important to know the differences between these two notions?
Tips to help you find a balance.

Full Read

Spread the love

If you find yourself wondering if you’re too dependent on others, or if you’re too independent-minded, let’s do a quick mental health check. It’s important to be able to count on yourself sometimes, but it can also be just as important to know when you need help. How do you figure out which side of the fence you’re on? Neither extreme is healthy, so it’s important to find a balance that works for your needs and personality.

The article from Infano will help you do a quick mental health check and break down the difference between being too clingy and too self-reliant and offer tips for how to adapt your behavior so that you are more balanced.

What does it mean to to be needy?

You may need others at some point in your life. It could be because you need help with something that is beyond the scope of what you can manage. It might be a time in your life when you are experiencing a difficult emotion and need someone to talk to. Or, it’s just your bad day, and you know that if you call someone up and ask for their help, they will gladly do so. The other person could be a friend. It could be a family member. It could even be a complete stranger. As long as you feel like you are not imposing on them, and that they can help, it’s just as good.

The need for others is a big part of our lives. For a while, you may work on being self-sufficient. You might even want to be self-sufficient. It gives you a sense of control over your life and makes you feel like you are taking care of yourself. But when push comes to shove, you will find that you are not as self-sufficient as you think. So, it’s important to realize that you need others in your life and that you can rely on others.

We all know that we shouldn’t be too selfish sometimes. Sometimes, we need to let other people help us when we need it the most. Sometimes, we even have to learn how to do things alone. We might not always enjoy it, but it’s necessary at times.

Mental Health Check: Dependent Personality Disorder
Dependent personality disorder (DPD) is a type of anxious personality disorder. People with DPD often feel helpless, submissive or incapable of taking care of themselves. They may have trouble making simple decisions. But, with help, someone with a dependent personality can learn self-confidence and self-reliance.
Source

What is the difference?

It’s important to know the difference between coping alone and letting others in. Coping alone means that the person is trying to avoid their emotions by distancing themselves from their feelings. They often go for a long drive, have mindless sex, or drink alcohol with friends. These are all temporary solutions. The problem is that this person is dealing with their emotions by running away from them, which can also lead to an addiction. Letting someone else in means being vulnerable enough to share what you’re going through and feeling safe enough to let that person offer insight and comfort.

Sometimes in life, we need to ask for help from other people. We might feel a lot of shame, or we might worry that people will think that we are weak or needy. But honestly, who doesn’t sometimes need help? Learning to accept the support of others and not feel ashamed about it is an empowering step.

What does it mean to be self-reliant?

Being self-reliant is important when you become an adult because you’ll have to take care of yourself without the help of your parents. It’s more than just being able to cook, clean, or pay bills on time. Self-reliance means you can go through tough times by yourself and not rely on others for support. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pressure trying to juggle everything on your own and this can be tough. It is possible to let others in and still be happy, but the key is figuring out when and how to do so. After all, you should never feel bad for not being able to do it all alone.

Self-reliant people are able to deal with difficult situations by themselves. They use their coping mechanisms and don’t rely on others for help. One thing that makes these people so strong is their ability to overcome the feeling that they have failed. They take the time to relax, reflect on their accomplishments and make time for themselves. This can help them be less afraid of being alone so they can let others in.

Being self-reliant means being able to walk through life on your own. Being self-reliant does not mean that you don’t need help sometimes or that you will never depend on someone else for something. It simply means that you are capable of looking after yourself and coping alone when necessary. While there is nothing wrong with needing help, it is important to be able to get by and live a fulfilling life even when you’re feeling lonely

How can you become more self-reliant and let others in?

When you’re lonely, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of seeing your solitude as a weakness. It’s even worse when you know you are that way because of trauma or abuse. Oftentimes, there is an impulse to fix this problem by seeking out more companies. If left unchecked, this can lead to codependency and addiction.

The first step in learning how to cope alone and let others in is identifying the source of your pain or trauma. It might be something like PTSD from a car accident, chronic grief from losing someone close, or other mental health concerns such as depression. Once you pinpoint what’s causing your need for human contact and intimacy because of loneliness, then you can start working on how to heal it.

Ask yourself what your needs and wants are and come up with a list of tasks that you can do to meet those needs. It’s important to rely on yourself for some things, but remember to also take time for seeking out the help of others. Also, when you’re feeling stressed, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you can’t always be strong.

Here are 3 tips to help you improve!

1. Start by listing three things that you can do for yourself, two things that someone else could do for you, and one thing that would be difficult for anyone outside of the situation to do for you.

2. Try to go 24 hours without asking for any assistance from anyone else

3. Make an agreement with one other person (family member, friend, etc) that they will ask you how you are feeling before doing anything (e.g., “I’m going to feed myself as well as make sure everyone has

Why is it important to know the differences between these two notions?

It is important to know the difference between the two notions so we can develop a clearer understanding of what each one means. It is likely that people use these terms interchangeably, but they actually mean different things. Coping alone or being self-reliant means that you are responsible for your feelings and actions. Learn how to take care of yourself and your emotional needs without relying on other people. Letting others in refers to accepting help from others as well as giving it. This means recognizing that you do not have to do everything by yourself–accepting help when needed and sharing your emotional burdens with others who care about you.

Knowing the difference between these two notions is important for a mental health check in and is key to a healthy, happy life. Alone is about knowing when you need to take care of yourself and when you can trust others with your well-being. Letting in is about choosing who you allow into your life and why, as well as being able to accept help from others. Learning to balance both of these skill sets will have a positive impact on your life.

It is important to know the difference between being self-reliant and being clingy. Coping is a tool that we use in order to manage our reactions or feelings to difficulties or unpleasant situations. It happens when we hear someone’s bad news, for example. We may say “I’m sorry” or “that’s tough.” This lets us be there for that person while trying not to let it take over our emotions. Letting go, on the other hand, means walking away from problems so they don’t have any more power over us.

Mental Health Check: Also Read How to know if your partner is a Narcissist?

being dependent being independent mental health check

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.

How Postpartum Depression Took Away One Year Of This Woman’s Life!

Written By: Sonali

October 1, 2021 | 09:30 AM |

3,081

Highlights

Postpartum depression is a common mental illness that affects up to one in seven mothers.
It is a form of depression.
Treatment for postpartum depression is needed immediately because it can render a mother with unpleasant thoughts.
Sign and symptoms of PPD.

Quick Read
Full Read

What is PPD?

Postpartum depression is a common mental illness that affects up to one in seven mothers. It’s the “baby blues” that many women experience after their baby is born. The symptoms of postpartum depression are similar to other forms of depression, but they can be made worse by lack of sleep, difficulty breastfeeding, and other factors related to caring for an infant. Mothers who have postpartum depression may feel down or sad much of the time, or restless or irritable.

PPD is the most common complication of childbirth. It is a form of depression. Symptoms include sadness, low energy, feelings of worthlessness, and detachment from your baby that can interfere with your ability to care for your baby and enjoy your time together.

Treatment for PPD?

Treatment for postpartum depression is needed immediately because it can render a mother with unpleasant thoughts. Therapy with antidepressant medication is proven to be most effective.

Each new mother responds differently to postpartum depression and may not have every symptom listed. It is not only the new mothers who are vulnerable to this mental disorder, but even fathers are also susceptible to postpartum depression. According to the researchers, this is because fathers are often involved in caring for their children, which may often put them at the same level of risk as the new mothers.

Signs and Symptoms: How to identify postpartum depression?

The following list is a general guideline.

Look out for these signs.

Changes in eating habits- Either eating too much, not eating at all, overeating, or undereating.
Changes in sleeping habits- Either sleeping too much or not enough.
Changes in activity levels- Either being more active, less active, or unable to be physically active.
Change in behavior- Being irritable than usual. Having extreme mood swings which last for short periods. Takes too much care of the baby or ignores it completely

Symptoms of PPD can include:

Excessive crying, or “emotional contagion”—crying when watching a sad movie, for example
Insomnia
Brief euphoria after spending time with the baby
Anger at the baby’s father
Anxiety over parenting skills
Shame about not wanting to breastfeed or expressing milk, especially if it is in contrast with cultural norms.

Researchers hope that by identifying the risk factors and how to deal with them, they can improve the mental and emotional well-being of new parents.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be suffering from postpartum depression, please contact your healthcare provider for specific questions about your condition.

For more on mental health from Infano, click here.

Spread the love

Shreya Mitra still regrets that she couldn’t preserve the memories of her son’s first year. “It was a gloomy dark phase, the phase where I fought every single day to make it through another day,” recalls the 29 YO mother who went through a brain hemorrhage, postpartum depression (PPD), and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).

“I can never forget 2016! While getting pregnant was wonderful, I lost my grandma the very next month when I found out about it; and that impacted me. I felt sick. My mother got diagnosed with cancer. My son got diagnosed with clubbed feet in my anomaly. My husband got down with dengue. It was a hell of a period for me,” Shreya recalls. “While my mother flew back to me from Mumbai for my delivery, it was difficult to see her in that condition.”

Shreya gave birth to little Shaan on 01.12.2016, and five days later, suffered a brain hemorrhage. She was immediately taken to Chennai by her husband and father-in-law. Her life was at stake, and Shaan stayed back with his grandmother and aunt.

“I was saved. Yes, I fought a lot, but soon I started getting panic attacks, anxiety attacks, unexplainable postpartum rage, and I went into depression,” Shreya calls it a horrible phase, and it wasn’t easy to overcome it. The worst was not knowing what was happening to her because all the reactions were behavioral.

“I became a monster! I knew I needed help, but I had no idea about what had changed. I shared my emotions on a mothers’ forum, and when I told them how I felt about hating motherhood, feeling disconnected with my child, sudden anger and crying moments, unwillingness to wake up every morning, they asked me to get screened for PPD”.

And that was it — that’s how Shreya got introduced to PPD. She started taking sessions, and though the depression phase was getting fade, her anxiety persisted and was only triggered when someone in the family fell sick.

What is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression is a common mental illness that affects up to one in seven mothers. It’s the “baby blues” that many women experience after their baby is born. The symptoms of postpartum depression are similar to other forms of depression, but they can be made worse by lack of sleep, difficulty breastfeeding, and other factors related to caring for an infant. Mothers who have postpartum depression may feel down or sad much of the time, or restless or irritable.

According to a report recently published by the World Health Organisation (WHO), about 22 percent of Indian mothers suffer from postpartum depression (PPD). PPD is the most common complication of childbirth. It is a form of depression. Symptoms include sadness, low energy, feelings of worthlessness, and detachment from your baby that can interfere with your ability to care for your baby and enjoy your time together. If left untreated it can develop into postpartum psychosis.

“In my time, I wish someone would have mentioned the PPD even once! It would have helped me earlier, and I wouldn’t have suffered for so long!”

“PPD took away one whole year of my life, and I don’t know who to blame, or how to get closure. I will never get the first year of my child back, and it hurts knowing that it would have been prevented or tackled in a better way if I had known about it earlier,” Shreya says.

When she took this experience of hers online, many women, including Shreya’s friends, reached out to her and shared their experiences. She soon started Raising Shaan, where she writes about maternal mental health. Shreya is trying to increase awareness about maternal health, normalize depression, its causes, and consequences.

Treatment for Postpartum Depression?

Treatment for postpartum depression is needed immediately because it can render a mother with unpleasant thoughts. Therapy with antidepressant medication is proven to be most effective.

“Even if there is one woman I can reach out to and say that what you are feeling is normal and things would get better, you don’t need to be guilty; I think I would be able to justify my work. This is how much it matters to me,” Shreya finds it really fulfilling when other women reach out to her and find it comfortable to share their emotions with her.

Being someone who went through the same, Shreya finds it easy to connect with people. She realizes how much the screening of mental health along with PPD matters in the first 45 days and how it should be a part of the regular health checkups.

PPD did impact not only Shreya but also her family. Her husband was clueless. “He wanted to help, but I was cutting everyone off. He didn’t know what had happened but kept saying that something about me changed after giving birth to Shaan,” for someone like Shreya who used to be a jolly and amicable started getting angry for no reason and she felt pathetic every time she cried or felt disconnected from Shaan.

“If you’re someone who’s suffering from mental illness and feels that you’ve changed after delivery, it’s not you, it’s the hormones. It might be hard to believe, but yes, it does get better over time. All you need is support and love,” Shreya concludes.

Signs and Symptoms: How to identify postpartum depression?

The following list is a general guideline.

Look out for these signs.

Changes in eating habits- Either eating too much, not eating at all, overeating, or undereating.
Changes in sleeping habits- Either sleeping too much or not enough.
Changes in activity levels- Either being more active, less active, or unable to be physically active.
Change in behavior- Being irritable than usual. Having extreme mood swings which last for short periods. Takes too much care of the baby or ignores it completely

Symptoms of PPD can include:

Excessive crying, or “emotional contagion”—crying when watching a sad movie, for example
Insomnia
Brief euphoria after spending time with the baby
Anger at the baby’s father
Anxiety over parenting skills
Shame about not wanting to breastfeed or expressing milk, especially if it is in contrast with cultural norms.

Researchers hope that by identifying the risk factors and how to deal with them, they can improve the mental and emotional well-being of new parents.

If you are concerned that you or someone you know may be suffering from postpartum depression, please contact your healthcare provider for specific questions about your condition.

For more on mental health from Infano, click here.

This article is a part of the series on #10DaysOfMentalHealth with Infano X The Logical Indian

10 days of mental health postpartum depression pregnancy world mental health day

Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out!