Mental Health Check: Are You The "I'm too independent," Or "I'm too clingy and needy" Type?

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If you find yourself wondering if you’re too dependent on others, or if you’re too independent-minded, let’s do a quick mental health check. It’s important to be able to count on yourself sometimes, but it can also be just as important to know when you need help. How do you figure out which side of the fence you’re on? Neither extreme is healthy, so it’s important to find a balance that works for your needs and personality.

The article from Infano will help you do a quick mental health check and break down the difference between being too clingy and too self-reliant and offer tips for how to adapt your behavior so that you are more balanced.

What does it mean to to be needy?

You may need others at some point in your life. It could be because you need help with something that is beyond the scope of what you can manage. It might be a time in your life when you are experiencing a difficult emotion and need someone to talk to. Or, it’s just your bad day, and you know that if you call someone up and ask for their help, they will gladly do so. The other person could be a friend. It could be a family member. It could even be a complete stranger. As long as you feel like you are not imposing on them, and that they can help, it’s just as good.

The need for others is a big part of our lives. For a while, you may work on being self-sufficient. You might even want to be self-sufficient. It gives you a sense of control over your life and makes you feel like you are taking care of yourself. But when push comes to shove, you will find that you are not as self-sufficient as you think. So, it’s important to realize that you need others in your life and that you can rely on others.

We all know that we shouldn’t be too selfish sometimes. Sometimes, we need to let other people help us when we need it the most. Sometimes, we even have to learn how to do things alone. We might not always enjoy it, but it’s necessary at times.

Mental Health Check: Dependent Personality Disorder
Dependent personality disorder (DPD) is a type of anxious personality disorder. People with DPD often feel helpless, submissive or incapable of taking care of themselves. They may have trouble making simple decisions. But, with help, someone with a dependent personality can learn self-confidence and self-reliance.
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What is the difference?

It’s important to know the difference between coping alone and letting others in. Coping alone means that the person is trying to avoid their emotions by distancing themselves from their feelings. They often go for a long drive, have mindless sex, or drink alcohol with friends. These are all temporary solutions. The problem is that this person is dealing with their emotions by running away from them, which can also lead to an addiction. Letting someone else in means being vulnerable enough to share what you’re going through and feeling safe enough to let that person offer insight and comfort.

Sometimes in life, we need to ask for help from other people. We might feel a lot of shame, or we might worry that people will think that we are weak or needy. But honestly, who doesn’t sometimes need help? Learning to accept the support of others and not feel ashamed about it is an empowering step.

What does it mean to be self-reliant?

Being self-reliant is important when you become an adult because you’ll have to take care of yourself without the help of your parents. It’s more than just being able to cook, clean, or pay bills on time. Self-reliance means you can go through tough times by yourself and not rely on others for support. It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pressure trying to juggle everything on your own and this can be tough. It is possible to let others in and still be happy, but the key is figuring out when and how to do so. After all, you should never feel bad for not being able to do it all alone.

Self-reliant people are able to deal with difficult situations by themselves. They use their coping mechanisms and don’t rely on others for help. One thing that makes these people so strong is their ability to overcome the feeling that they have failed. They take the time to relax, reflect on their accomplishments and make time for themselves. This can help them be less afraid of being alone so they can let others in.

Being self-reliant means being able to walk through life on your own. Being self-reliant does not mean that you don’t need help sometimes or that you will never depend on someone else for something. It simply means that you are capable of looking after yourself and coping alone when necessary. While there is nothing wrong with needing help, it is important to be able to get by and live a fulfilling life even when you’re feeling lonely

How can you become more self-reliant and let others in?

When you’re lonely, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of seeing your solitude as a weakness. It’s even worse when you know you are that way because of trauma or abuse. Oftentimes, there is an impulse to fix this problem by seeking out more companies. If left unchecked, this can lead to codependency and addiction.

The first step in learning how to cope alone and let others in is identifying the source of your pain or trauma. It might be something like PTSD from a car accident, chronic grief from losing someone close, or other mental health concerns such as depression. Once you pinpoint what’s causing your need for human contact and intimacy because of loneliness, then you can start working on how to heal it.

Ask yourself what your needs and wants are and come up with a list of tasks that you can do to meet those needs. It’s important to rely on yourself for some things, but remember to also take time for seeking out the help of others. Also, when you’re feeling stressed, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you can’t always be strong.

Here are 3 tips to help you improve!

1. Start by listing three things that you can do for yourself, two things that someone else could do for you, and one thing that would be difficult for anyone outside of the situation to do for you.

2. Try to go 24 hours without asking for any assistance from anyone else

3. Make an agreement with one other person (family member, friend, etc) that they will ask you how you are feeling before doing anything (e.g., “I’m going to feed myself as well as make sure everyone has

Why is it important to know the differences between these two notions?

It is important to know the difference between the two notions so we can develop a clearer understanding of what each one means. It is likely that people use these terms interchangeably, but they actually mean different things. Coping alone or being self-reliant means that you are responsible for your feelings and actions. Learn how to take care of yourself and your emotional needs without relying on other people. Letting others in refers to accepting help from others as well as giving it. This means recognizing that you do not have to do everything by yourself–accepting help when needed and sharing your emotional burdens with others who care about you.

Knowing the difference between these two notions is important for a mental health check in and is key to a healthy, happy life. Alone is about knowing when you need to take care of yourself and when you can trust others with your well-being. Letting in is about choosing who you allow into your life and why, as well as being able to accept help from others. Learning to balance both of these skill sets will have a positive impact on your life.

It is important to know the difference between being self-reliant and being clingy. Coping is a tool that we use in order to manage our reactions or feelings to difficulties or unpleasant situations. It happens when we hear someone’s bad news, for example. We may say “I’m sorry” or “that’s tough.” This lets us be there for that person while trying not to let it take over our emotions. Letting go, on the other hand, means walking away from problems so they don’t have any more power over us.

Mental Health Check: Also Read How to know if your partner is a Narcissist?

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End of the day after my routine chores – finished office work, made dinner, cleaned up, checked up on my in-laws, done discussing the day with my husband – I sat down on the couch to quickly catch a glimpse of my favourite TV series. The phone rang and it was my mother on the line. The day had been so hectic, that I didn’t even have the energy to talk to her, even though it had been a few days. Nevertheless, after we exchanged pleasantries, she just asked me why I seemed so stressed and I blurted out – “I just wish I wasn’t married”. The moment the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it, not because I felt guilty about what I said, but for the fear of being judged. I thought of all the things that I could now say to cover up what I had said. But all the excuses went futile, when I heard the voice from the other side saying – “I have thought about that myself on several occasions too”.

By now you may have created a picture of me in your mind of this very unhappy woman struggling with family and work stuck in a loveless marriage. But that’s not true. I have a wonderful, loving husband and a very supportive (most of the time) extended family. But yet, sometimes I still wish I was not married.

Those days when I was dating my future husband-to-be were so carefree. We were both working professionals earning quite decently. There was no pressure of saving up. We used to just live it up for a few days after we received our paychecks – be it on expensive dinners, gifts or shopping. Even though we always ended up short of money by the end of the month, we did not have to explain to anyone why instant noodles were a good dinner option. But that’s no longer possible. Nutritious dinner for the family is of course my responsibility and so is planning and saving for the future.

Our plans and trips used to be so impromptu then. I remember we even went for a hiking trip on a day’s notice. And today, even going for a dinner or a movie has to be planned well in advance. I wonder what has changed. It’s the same him and it’s the same me. But has marriage just added this sense of responsibility of having to plan anything and everything.

Even back then, we used to plan and mark our calendars at the start of the year to highlight the festivals. The reason then used to be to club those holidays with weekends and take off to somewhere – sometime to explore new places or sometimes to just have a relaxing holiday away from the routine. We still look at the dates of the festivals, but now the reason is to plan for the rituals associated with it or to plan for family celebrations, and not to forget to buy another set of traditional attire that I will wear only once, but will take up space in my cupboard forever. All these festivals which really didn’t matter a little while back have become so important.

I was a very out-going person in the pre-marriage days. I used to hang out a lot with my friends, including male friends – to whom I swore to never let go of, to remain connected all the time, for whom I will never change. When I started to date things did change a little, but still not to the extent of disappointing my friends. My partner was even cool with our annual getaways and in fact encouraged it. And then marriage happened. I don’t know why, but there is now this inherent pressure to now go everywhere with your husband. The society now expected us to make friends with more settled couples, whether we were having fun was secondary. And hate to admit it, but I really do have few very male friends now and I miss them – they were my buddies with whom I could chill for long hours.

The list of things that have changed are endless – ranging from details like monthly grocery, investment and savings plan, my dressing style, making sure all your relatives are happy with you, remembering to call all family members on their birthdays and anniversaries, cleaning up so that house is presentable any time some relative comes in without notice, holiday planning to make sure the visits of both set of parents don’t clash and the list goes on… Our priorities have suddenly changed. It’s now just not about us, but so much more about others.

Marriage is a big and long commitment and it does change you, whether you admit that or not. You can imagine marriage as a dating or a live-in relationship with loads and loads of additional baggage. “Are you ready for this change?” – is something that you should give a good thought to before taking the plunge. Given a chance, will I undo my decision to get married? Probably not. I love the love, support and care I get from my husband and the sense of security I feel is unmatched. But do I miss those times when we spoke for hours together, did crazy things together without the fear of being judged, when love seemed to be the only food we needed when binge-watching shows (hunger did not even cross our minds). Yes, I do. And those are the days, when I wish that I wasn’t married.

Image Source: Tu Dosis Diaria