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Why Acid Attack Didn’t Burn This Survivor’s Spirit

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin
August 31, 2020
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Like any acid attack victim, I could start Shaheen Malik’s story with the usual who, what, where, when, how, or why. The story isn’t very different- a young pretty ambitious girl who rejected the advances of a man. Let’s change the narrative here because the Shaheen that was and is now, is definitely not the same.

Present-day 2020. Meet Shaheen Malik- Director of Campaign Against Acid Attack at Human Rights Law Network. She is also a part of many other initiatives like Delhi Commission for Women, Sheroes, Stop Acid Attacks. Shaheen has been helping acid attack survivors fight legal cases, get counseling, and find jobs. She has been actively fighting against the sale of acid being sold in shops.

“My experience since my attack and my work with HRLN has taught me a lot,” says Shaheen. “It has given me confidence and support. I handle the Campaign Against Acid Attacks here nationally. I get in touch with survivors, ensure their treatment and counseling, get their FIRs registered and statements taken. I also try and get them employed to make them self-dependent. Becoming an activist for acid attack victims exposed me to the suffering of others and made me more empathetic. I see worse cases than mine, I still have a partial vision in one eye. Helping them gives me the feeling that I have made a positive contribution to society in my own small way.”

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After loss of one eye, partial vision loss in the other, 20 reconstructive surgeries on face and lakhs of money spent on eye drops and operations, Shaheen could have been just another victim of an acid attack but she decided to be a fighter instead. 

After the incident in 2009, life was a downhill ride. A smart, intelligent, and pretty girl from Delhi, Shaheen aspired to be successful, independent, and make a mark for herself in the world.

“I come from Delhi’s middle-class Muslim family”, says Shaheen. “Despite my conservative background I was a free-spirited girl with dreams and ambitions of my own and always fought for it. I was pursuing my course at Punjab Technical University, Panipat Haryana. I was working part-time at an office and my boss was making unwanted advances at me. I even left the job once but my need for money and also the fact that my mark sheet was in his possession made me join back. One unfortunate evening he stalled me at work for no reason, spoke to someone over the phone, and then asked me to leave suddenly. When I got to the road, a masked man was standing there and suddenly threw something on my face.”

Shaheen was attacked with acid in a public place and in broad daylight. All she remembers was not the pain, but fear. And her deafening screams. A crowd gathered and stared at her not knowing how to help. 

“Had someone helped me by splashing water on my face then, perhaps my eye would have been saved”. This lack of awareness amongst the public and the delay by the medical institutions for admitting her and treating her on time cost Shaheen the loss of an eye. Predictably, Shaheen was sent running from one hospital to another as they refused to treat a “police case”.

“I have a partial vision and I need help around at times. It’s been 11 years now but I still refuse to fill the disability form because I am in constant denial that I am disabled. I can’t bring myself to accept the fact that I come under the disabled group even though I know I will receive benefits under it.”

“The physical pain is so intense that you forget about the mental trauma. When they first threw water on me, each drop felt like a thousand needles on my skin. I still get goosebumps thinking of it. At every point of my treatment, I felt that my life was slipping away from my hands”, says Shaheen.

Trauma, PTSD, depression, low self-esteem, disappointment, anxiety, lack of confidence, acceptance are just some adjectives that can be used to describe the mental turmoil an acid attack victim faces. “It is like being robbed of your identity, I just wanted the old me back. The other part of the physical pain is when the skin starts contracting after 2 months.  For 8 years I tried to look for my eye treatment around the world. The financial strain on the family is not something I can even explain.”

 In 2013, the court had ruled in favour of acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarval and imposed restrictions on acid sale. It also ordered compensation to be paid by the state governments to each acid attack victim. This gave Shaheen new hope. But the shame here is the fact that even 10 years later, justice has not been served to Shaheen. The accused still roams free and the case is still pending trial in the supreme court.

Shaheen’s message to the society

Acid attack victims need medical, legal, emotional and financial support. “Thousands of cases still don’t make it to FIRs. The apex court has mandated free treatment for acid attack victims but its implementation is not done in the right manner.” Compensation should include not just the cost of recovery but also enable these survivors to move on in life. While increased media attention makes more victims report the incident, there is still a lot to be done, feels Shaheen. Create more job opportunities for them so that they can be financially independent and gain their confidence back. 

“We need to raise sons with more sensitivity towards the other gender. Understanding consent, handling rejection, and anger management should be taught to them from an early age. This patriarchal entitlement and misogynistic mindset that is present in men is the root cause of this crime. I often advise the youth during my talks that it is okay to be said no to by a girl and that her decision should be respected. Don’t treat it like a self-esteem issue.” 

Lastly, “Agar acid bikta hi nahi toh yeh hota hi nahi (If acid wasn’t sold freely this would have never happened with me)”, she says. This is why she has chosen to work for the ban to be implemented and urges the public to support the cause. The Delhi High Court in February 2020 sought the Delhi government’s stand on a plea by Shaheen.

Shaheen refuses to hide her face. She has decided that no matter the stares, she will not cover her eye or her face from the public. Always a fashionista, Shaheen wears what she likes. “Why should I hide my face when the criminal is roaming scot-free? I am not the guilty one here. He should hide his face out of shame, not me.”

acid attackacid attack survivoracid attack victimhuman rightsinfanojustice for shaheenjusticedeniedpunish the accusedshaheen mallikwomens rights

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.

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International Cat Day: How Some Super-Cats Changed These Ladies’ Lives!

Written By: Sonali
August 8, 2020 | 04:57 AM |
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I was never a cat person until I stumbled upon Billi in my last company. August 8 has always been any other day for me — but this year I decided to dedicate this day to Billi and her clan who are making this world a little beautiful — one ‘meow’ at a time.

This International Cat Day read some of the most heart-touching tales shared by some of the amazing women — the tales of love and compassion — which their cat taught them!

Saheli Chaudhuri
This International Cat Day read some of the most heart-touching tales shared by some of the amazing women — the tales of love and compassion — which their cat taught them!
Saheli & Bebo

“I had a cat daughter. She was my whole and soul for 6.5 years. Whether I was sick or sound — my life used to revolve around her. There was a time when I was going through bad phases, and I did not know how to pull myself up, but her eyes and touch of her paws in my palm made me believe that I have a reason to live happily. But she passed away a day after one of the biggest things that happened to my life. 

My marriage got confirmed, and I lost her the next day. I got into depression — left my job, left the city for a couple of months. I could not live my wedding at the fullest since my heart was aching because of losing her. It’s been four and a half years now since I lost her and eventually, I have adopted three more cat babies — who are wonderful — but I still look for her. There has not been a single moment when I talked or thought of her, and tears didn’t roll down my eyes. I still wish she would come back to me. She was everything for me — will always be,” Saheli shares her cat tale, a beautiful tale of motherhood. Seeing her agony, her husband got her a tattoo in her memory. 

Priya Jain
Adrak & Juju

“Having had a dog for eight years, my first encounter with cats was a ginger kitten that just strayed into my house. I flippantly named him Kitta. He was a total lap cat, very naughty and playful. Having lost my dog quite recently and coming to terms with losing her so young, this was a balm to my soul. 

I didn’t realise how much having Kitta had made a difference to my life, until almost 30 days later, one of my neighbours walked in and picked him up while he was playing near the gate and said it was one of her lost kittens. I told her she could take him if he was hers and it wasn’t more than 10 minutes later when I told a friend that he was taken away and broke down in uncontrollable sobs,” Priya found herself unworthy of keeping a cat after having a few heartbreaking incidents. But she also learnt the art of accepting things and being optimistic for the future. She never stopped trying. Priya now has a little black kitty called Juju.

Deena Pinto 
Kiki & Deena

“ 05th Sep 2018 — Kiki along with her four siblings was born, I was so ecstatic, as Kiki was the firstborn, I had to adopt her. She is bubbly, lively, and a joy to be around — I take her on trips, rickshaw rides, walks — she is always a riot, destroys my makeup, clothes, and anything I fancy. She eats anything I eat, so it’s a blessing,” Deena brightens up as she talks about Kiki. “Over time, she has made me be a better person — one who is selfless. I am so happy that I ended up with her. She is the reason I wake up every day cheerfully, and whenever I am depressed or feel low, she just pops up or breaks something to get my attention,” she continues.

Kiki, for Deena, is a real treat which she doesn’t ever want to lose. “For a single lonely person like me, Kiki is too much of love and joy. My cat has changed my life for the better — she is my bae and BFF, and I feel she knows me too well,” Kiki will be turning two this September, and Deena is looking forward to many more birthdays with her!!

Nandini Swaminathan
Nandini & Flash

Nandini adopted her gorgeous tomcat, Flash, ten years ago — from the streetside in Pondicherry, where she studied. It was tough staying away from her loved ones and adjusting to a new environment and bullying was not easy — and adopting him in a way gave her hope, and taking care of him along with her then-roommate also strengthened their bond. “And when I felt low, having him around to play with and cuddle and take care of quite literally saved me,” Flash was adopted by Nandini when he was tiny, just a few weeks old.

“Well, he gave me a reason to focus my energies on — my roommate and I would take turns caring for him. I flew him all by myself to Delhi to be with my family and me a few months later, and that was a challenging but unforgettable experience,” Flash definitely made Nandini’s college life easier. Didn’t he?

Jinisha Arora
Katrick

“I’ve always had ADD and bipolar disorder (with acute manic phases). For me, relaxation time never even crossed my mind. I was always doing something. I’ve grown up with dogs, and my energy always matched theirs. But, when I got my cat, this entirely changed. Now, my cat is lazy and very proud of it. Katrick loves his morning strolls and late afternoon siestas. And, that is something I couldn’t even apprehend initially! But, I soon realised that if I wanted to bond with him, I’d need to take the time out and relax with him.

Initially, it was really uncomfortable. But, over time, it started becoming more and more easier. And, as it did, I could feel my anxious energy fade. I could feel myself becoming a calmer person, one that was capable of taking things as they come. Now, my cat and I have regular self-care sessions. We spend plenty of mornings out on the terrace just staring at the sky and watching the birds go by,” Jinisha tells how Katrick helped her in settling her mental health conditions.

Shruti Thakker
International-Cat-Day_-How-Some-Super-Cats-Changed-These-Ladies’-Lives-7-1
Shruti & Puddles

“I have always been a dog person, as a child and as far as I could remember. I was actually scared of cats. But 2017 brought a change,” Shruti reminisced. “I found a stray and feral cat in my building. He was normally timid, but when I first called out, he came and let me pet him and thus began our routine. My parents dislike pets, but this little one managed to change their opinion too.”

“We had the most amazing two and a half years with him. But July 2019 — he disappeared suddenly. We don’t know why or what happened. He taught me to love unconditionally but be available for myself. And most importantly, he taught me to accept. My little puddles, I miss him! I don’t know any story which changed my life but this cat certainly changed everything. Puddles made his way in our lives and made us love and accept him” Shruti ends with a tale which actually never ended for her!

Got any story to tell? Tag/ comment/ email us your tale, and we would love to tell the world how amazing you are! xoxo!!

AnimalsLifestylemental healthwomen

Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out!

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