Skip to content
Infano-logo
  • Health & Fitness
  • Sexual Health
  • Mental Health
  • Periods
  • Pregnancy
  • Parenting
  • PCOS
  • HerStory
  • Campaign
  • pink-search-icon
    • Close

Why Acid Attack Didn’t Burn This Survivor’s Spirit

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin
August 31, 2020
  • Full Read
Spread the love

Like any acid attack victim, I could start Shaheen Malik’s story with the usual who, what, where, when, how, or why. The story isn’t very different- a young pretty ambitious girl who rejected the advances of a man. Let’s change the narrative here because the Shaheen that was and is now, is definitely not the same.

Present-day 2020. Meet Shaheen Malik- Director of Campaign Against Acid Attack at Human Rights Law Network. She is also a part of many other initiatives like Delhi Commission for Women, Sheroes, Stop Acid Attacks. Shaheen has been helping acid attack survivors fight legal cases, get counseling, and find jobs. She has been actively fighting against the sale of acid being sold in shops.

“My experience since my attack and my work with HRLN has taught me a lot,” says Shaheen. “It has given me confidence and support. I handle the Campaign Against Acid Attacks here nationally. I get in touch with survivors, ensure their treatment and counseling, get their FIRs registered and statements taken. I also try and get them employed to make them self-dependent. Becoming an activist for acid attack victims exposed me to the suffering of others and made me more empathetic. I see worse cases than mine, I still have a partial vision in one eye. Helping them gives me the feeling that I have made a positive contribution to society in my own small way.”

Source

After loss of one eye, partial vision loss in the other, 20 reconstructive surgeries on face and lakhs of money spent on eye drops and operations, Shaheen could have been just another victim of an acid attack but she decided to be a fighter instead. 

After the incident in 2009, life was a downhill ride. A smart, intelligent, and pretty girl from Delhi, Shaheen aspired to be successful, independent, and make a mark for herself in the world.

“I come from Delhi’s middle-class Muslim family”, says Shaheen. “Despite my conservative background I was a free-spirited girl with dreams and ambitions of my own and always fought for it. I was pursuing my course at Punjab Technical University, Panipat Haryana. I was working part-time at an office and my boss was making unwanted advances at me. I even left the job once but my need for money and also the fact that my mark sheet was in his possession made me join back. One unfortunate evening he stalled me at work for no reason, spoke to someone over the phone, and then asked me to leave suddenly. When I got to the road, a masked man was standing there and suddenly threw something on my face.”

Shaheen was attacked with acid in a public place and in broad daylight. All she remembers was not the pain, but fear. And her deafening screams. A crowd gathered and stared at her not knowing how to help. 

“Had someone helped me by splashing water on my face then, perhaps my eye would have been saved”. This lack of awareness amongst the public and the delay by the medical institutions for admitting her and treating her on time cost Shaheen the loss of an eye. Predictably, Shaheen was sent running from one hospital to another as they refused to treat a “police case”.

“I have a partial vision and I need help around at times. It’s been 11 years now but I still refuse to fill the disability form because I am in constant denial that I am disabled. I can’t bring myself to accept the fact that I come under the disabled group even though I know I will receive benefits under it.”

“The physical pain is so intense that you forget about the mental trauma. When they first threw water on me, each drop felt like a thousand needles on my skin. I still get goosebumps thinking of it. At every point of my treatment, I felt that my life was slipping away from my hands”, says Shaheen.

Trauma, PTSD, depression, low self-esteem, disappointment, anxiety, lack of confidence, acceptance are just some adjectives that can be used to describe the mental turmoil an acid attack victim faces. “It is like being robbed of your identity, I just wanted the old me back. The other part of the physical pain is when the skin starts contracting after 2 months.  For 8 years I tried to look for my eye treatment around the world. The financial strain on the family is not something I can even explain.”

 In 2013, the court had ruled in favour of acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarval and imposed restrictions on acid sale. It also ordered compensation to be paid by the state governments to each acid attack victim. This gave Shaheen new hope. But the shame here is the fact that even 10 years later, justice has not been served to Shaheen. The accused still roams free and the case is still pending trial in the supreme court.

Shaheen’s message to the society

Acid attack victims need medical, legal, emotional and financial support. “Thousands of cases still don’t make it to FIRs. The apex court has mandated free treatment for acid attack victims but its implementation is not done in the right manner.” Compensation should include not just the cost of recovery but also enable these survivors to move on in life. While increased media attention makes more victims report the incident, there is still a lot to be done, feels Shaheen. Create more job opportunities for them so that they can be financially independent and gain their confidence back. 

“We need to raise sons with more sensitivity towards the other gender. Understanding consent, handling rejection, and anger management should be taught to them from an early age. This patriarchal entitlement and misogynistic mindset that is present in men is the root cause of this crime. I often advise the youth during my talks that it is okay to be said no to by a girl and that her decision should be respected. Don’t treat it like a self-esteem issue.” 

Lastly, “Agar acid bikta hi nahi toh yeh hota hi nahi (If acid wasn’t sold freely this would have never happened with me)”, she says. This is why she has chosen to work for the ban to be implemented and urges the public to support the cause. The Delhi High Court in February 2020 sought the Delhi government’s stand on a plea by Shaheen.

Shaheen refuses to hide her face. She has decided that no matter the stares, she will not cover her eye or her face from the public. Always a fashionista, Shaheen wears what she likes. “Why should I hide my face when the criminal is roaming scot-free? I am not the guilty one here. He should hide his face out of shame, not me.”

acid attackacid attack survivoracid attack victimhuman rightsinfanojustice for shaheenjusticedeniedpunish the accusedshaheen mallikwomens rights

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Infano Care

Recovering from depression- How I Pieced My Life Back

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin
October 7, 2021 | 09:04 AM |
762

Highlights

  • Finding the right therapist
  • Seeking help when you need it
  • Creating a WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan)
  • Full Read
Spread the love

Infano brings to you 10 Days Of Mental Health in collaboration with The Logical Indian in lieu of World Mental Health Day on October 10. This mental health warrior’s story is about recovering from depression and includes tips for everyday living. It has been narrated anonymously.

The emotional rollercoaster that is depression can be difficult to ride. The highs and lows can be all-encompassing, leaving you feeling like there is no way out. But it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. When I first started feeling the symptoms of depression, I had no idea what was going on. Looking back, I can see that there were many warning signs along the way. The following are some of the thoughts and feelings that led me to seek help. And how I started piecing my life back together.

When you experience depression, no matter how severe it might seem, there is always a chance for recovery. With the right support and treatment, you can get better. You should accept that mental illnesses are not only common but also manageable. Some of the most effective treatments for depression are medication and psychotherapy.

You are not alone

Depression is a common mental illness that affects tens of millions of people each year. Depression can vary from person to person, and it may be mild or severe. It can make a person feel sad, hopeless, or apathetic. Depression may also make a person lose interest in things they used to enjoy, such as hobbies or sports. Depression can be effectively treated with counseling and, more often, with medication.

Seek help when you need it

There are many reasons people end up in a depressive state. Sometimes life events are negative or traumatic and can lead to depression. Other times people are born with mental illnesses, like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, that also cause depression. If you suffer from depression, seek help no matter the reason for your suffering- there’s no shame in getting help when you need it!

Ways of finding the right therapist for you

It is important to find a therapist who is culturally competent, has the right credentials, and is willing to listen. There are many therapists out there who are not equipped to understand the issues of your culture or are unable to relate.

My personal experience with psychotherapy

I went through a lot of therapy to help me learn how to better manage myself and my symptoms. Therapists often tell you that you can’t make a choice for them, but I believe the process didn’t have to be either/or. There are a lot of ways to get past depression, and depth psychotherapy played an important role in my recovery. I believe that this process of deep examination can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself. It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing choice. Most of my therapists are very sympathetic to the potential role of psychotherapy in recovery.

Recovering from depression- Creating a WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) 

Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) is a simple and powerful process for creating the life and wellness you want. The WRAP process supports you to identify the tools that keep you well and create action plans to put them into practice in your everyday life. All along the way, WRAP helps you incorporate key recovery concepts and wellness tools into your plans and your life. With WRAP, you can: 

Discover simple, safe, and effective tools to create and maintain wellness

Develop a daily plan to stay on track with your life and wellness goals

Identify what throws you off track and develop a plan to keep moving forward

Gain support and stay in control even in a crisis

www.wellnessrecoveryactionplan.com

It is difficult enough to manage depression, but the process of getting back on your feet post that is even more challenging. Tough times can make it feel like life is impossible to cope with.

It may not always be possible that when you get back to life, it may be as it was before. Do not have unrealistic goals. returning to the life we had before becoming unwell, exactly as it was. Make some changes to your life can help in recovering from depression.

Make certain changes, maybe even small ones, and build a healthy routine for yourself. Plan your Mealtime and set a bedtime and stick to it no matter how hard it feels. Develop a self-care routine for yourself. You deserve it.

The things that used to interest you might not any more so find a new job, vocation or a hobby if you have to.  

Take it slowly one day at a time so you don’t feel overwhelmed When piecing your life back together. Returning to normal may not be as quick as you think so give the process some time.

Try and rebuild your self-confidence. You might remember things that you did or said when you weren’t well. Certain memories, incidents, people could trigger some really dark thoughts. So it may not be easy to socialize and join conversations.

Try talking to yourself or your pet or have a short telephone conversation with friends or maybe that person at the billing counter or your Uber driver to help you learn to get talking and socializing or going out in public gatherings.

Our depression affects everyone around us, too. You might have pushed people away when you were unwell or even hurt them. This may have caused much friction in relationships. So start communicating and have open, honest conversations, to revive these relationships. Communication is key. 

Getting back to work can be difficult. Make some changes at work include things like work from home, flexitime, reduced work hours, no night shifts, and take more breaks. Create a balance of ‘busy’ and ‘rest’ time.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all way of coming out the other side, and everyone will have their own journey to recovery. I’ve been on medication for depression for more than 10 years, and I can say without a doubt that I’m still fighting every day. But even then, as of today, I am more than able to resume my career and am feeling better than before. We’re all different so we all have different things that help may help us to stay well and work on our paths to recovery. Do what you feel works best for you. You do you.

Please help us to help others and share this post, you never know who might need it.

For more articles on mental health click here.

10 days of mental healthDepressionmental health recoveryrecovery

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin

Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin has done her masters in Journalism & Communication and has worked as a senior journalist, editor and columnist for leading publications like The Logical Indian, Deccan Chronicle, Worldwide Media Corporation, The Bridge and Provoke.
With Infano, she hopes to create more awareness about women’s health issues. Suffering with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition, she has also been advocating for its awareness through media.

Related Posts

Pregnancy 4 mins Read

How To Prevent A Pregnancy: 5 Things You Need to Know About Emergency Contraception Pills

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin November, 13 2021 | 10:00 AM
HerStory 4 mins Read

Shantha Ragunathan: The Woman Who Lifted An Entire Village By Uplifting Its Women!

Written By: Sonali October, 17 2020 | 09:00 PM
Mental Health 3 mins Read

Women Supporting Women: Make It A Reality!

Written By: Sonali April, 17 2022 | 01:46 PM
HerStory 3 mins Read

Meet India’s Para-Sportswomen On National Sports Day 2021

Written By: Infano August, 29 2021 | 09:00 AM
HerStory 4 mins Read

Indian Air Force Day: Meet The Women Officers Who Created A History In The IAF!

Written By: Sonali October, 8 2020 | 01:45 PM
Pregnancy 4 mins Read

Pregnancy Care Blog: All You Need To Know About The Caesarean Scar

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin November, 25 2021 | 06:41 PM
HerStory 5 mins Read

This Doctor Travelled 700 km For A Natural Birth Experience!

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin March, 13 2021 | 11:59 AM
Health & Fitness 4 mins Read

Body Positive Brands In India That Are Redefining Fashion

Written By: Suhani Sharma June, 14 2021 | 12:50 PM
Periods 4 mins Read

Here’s Why Some Women Are Against Period Leave

Written By: Tasneem Akbari Kutubuddin August, 13 2020 | 07:37 AM
HerStory 2 mins Read

Fit To Fat: Journey Of Mrs Eco International 2018 & Mrs India Earth 2017!

Written By: Sonali October, 28 2020 | 09:59 PM
Sexual Health 3 mins Read

So, Is LUST A Sin, Girls?

Written By: Infano May, 8 2021 | 02:29 PM
Health & Fitness 3 mins Read

How Bollywood Has Distorted Our Ideas of Sexuality and Body Image

Written By: Sindhu Kambam April, 13 2021 | 04:34 PM
Social 3 mins Read

Indira Gandhi: Tribute To The Iron Lady Of India!

Written By: Sonali October, 31 2020 | 10:52 PM
Sexual Health 3 mins Read

Sex And Relationships: How To Be Safe Online While Sharing Intimate Images

Written By: Humzaad April, 10 2023 | 02:00 PM
HerStory 4 mins Read

Passion To Profession — This Journalist Quit Her Decade-Old Career To Follow Her Dreams!

Written By: Sonali September, 27 2020 | 10:00 PM
Mental Health 3 mins Read

PCOS And Depression: How to Deal?

Written By: Shweta Singh April, 20 2023 | 01:14 AM

Subscribe to our Newsletter

To keep yourself updated with women-related news around the globe, articles, opinions, suggestions and exclusive offers that you should not miss, subscribe to our newsletter.

    Home | About Us | Contact Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy | Cancellations and Refund Policy | Pricing-Policy
    © 2023 Infano Women's Health | Lifestyle | Success Stories • Powered by GeneratePress

    Insert/edit link

    Enter the destination URL

    Or link to existing content

      No search term specified. Showing recent items. Search or use up and down arrow keys to select an item.