Why Acid Attack Didn't Burn This Survivor's Spirit

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Like any acid attack victim, I could start Shaheen Malik’s story with the usual who, what, where, when, how, or why. The story isn’t very different- a young pretty ambitious girl who rejected the advances of a man. Let’s change the narrative here because the Shaheen that was and is now, is definitely not the same.

Present-day 2020. Meet Shaheen Malik- Director of Campaign Against Acid Attack at Human Rights Law Network. She is also a part of many other initiatives like Delhi Commission for Women, Sheroes, Stop Acid Attacks. Shaheen has been helping acid attack survivors fight legal cases, get counseling, and find jobs. She has been actively fighting against the sale of acid being sold in shops.

“My experience since my attack and my work with HRLN has taught me a lot,” says Shaheen. “It has given me confidence and support. I handle the Campaign Against Acid Attacks here nationally. I get in touch with survivors, ensure their treatment and counseling, get their FIRs registered and statements taken. I also try and get them employed to make them self-dependent. Becoming an activist for acid attack victims exposed me to the suffering of others and made me more empathetic. I see worse cases than mine, I still have a partial vision in one eye. Helping them gives me the feeling that I have made a positive contribution to society in my own small way.”

After loss of one eye, partial vision loss in the other, 20 reconstructive surgeries on face and lakhs of money spent on eye drops and operations, Shaheen could have been just another victim of an acid attack but she decided to be a fighter instead.

After the incident in 2009, life was a downhill ride. A smart, intelligent, and pretty girl from Delhi, Shaheen aspired to be successful, independent, and make a mark for herself in the world.

“I come from Delhi’s middle-class Muslim family”, says Shaheen. “Despite my conservative background I was a free-spirited girl with dreams and ambitions of my own and always fought for it. I was pursuing my course at Punjab Technical University, Panipat Haryana. I was working part-time at an office and my boss was making unwanted advances at me. I even left the job once but my need for money and also the fact that my mark sheet was in his possession made me join back. One unfortunate evening he stalled me at work for no reason, spoke to someone over the phone, and then asked me to leave suddenly. When I got to the road, a masked man was standing there and suddenly threw something on my face.”

Shaheen was attacked with acid in a public place and in broad daylight. All she remembers was not the pain, but fear. And her deafening screams. A crowd gathered and stared at her not knowing how to help.

“Had someone helped me by splashing water on my face then, perhaps my eye would have been saved”. This lack of awareness amongst the public and the delay by the medical institutions for admitting her and treating her on time cost Shaheen the loss of an eye. Predictably, Shaheen was sent running from one hospital to another as they refused to treat a “police case”.

“I have a partial vision and I need help around at times. It’s been 11 years now but I still refuse to fill the disability form because I am in constant denial that I am disabled. I can’t bring myself to accept the fact that I come under the disabled group even though I know I will receive benefits under it.”

“The physical pain is so intense that you forget about the mental trauma. When they first threw water on me, each drop felt like a thousand needles on my skin. I still get goosebumps thinking of it. At every point of my treatment, I felt that my life was slipping away from my hands”, says Shaheen.

Trauma, PTSD, depression, low self-esteem, disappointment, anxiety, lack of confidence, acceptance are just some adjectives that can be used to describe the mental turmoil an acid attack victim faces. “It is like being robbed of your identity, I just wanted the old me back. The other part of the physical pain is when the skin starts contracting after 2 months. For 8 years I tried to look for my eye treatment around the world. The financial strain on the family is not something I can even explain.”

In 2013, the court had ruled in favour of acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarval and imposed restrictions on acid sale. It also ordered compensation to be paid by the state governments to each acid attack victim. This gave Shaheen new hope. But the shame here is the fact that even 10 years later, justice has not been served to Shaheen. The accused still roams free and the case is still pending trial in the supreme court.

Shaheen’s message to the society

Acid attack victims need medical, legal, emotional and financial support. “Thousands of cases still don’t make it to FIRs. The apex court has mandated free treatment for acid attack victims but its implementation is not done in the right manner.” Compensation should include not just the cost of recovery but also enable these survivors to move on in life. While increased media attention makes more victims report the incident, there is still a lot to be done, feels Shaheen. Create more job opportunities for them so that they can be financially independent and gain their confidence back.

“We need to raise sons with more sensitivity towards the other gender. Understanding consent, handling rejection, and anger management should be taught to them from an early age. This patriarchal entitlement and misogynistic mindset that is present in men is the root cause of this crime. I often advise the youth during my talks that it is okay to be said no to by a girl and that her decision should be respected. Don’t treat it like a self-esteem issue.”

Lastly, “Agar acid bikta hi nahi toh yeh hota hi nahi (If acid wasn’t sold freely this would have never happened with me)”, she says. This is why she has chosen to work for the ban to be implemented and urges the public to support the cause. The Delhi High Court in February 2020 sought the Delhi government’s stand on a plea by Shaheen.

Shaheen refuses to hide her face. She has decided that no matter the stares, she will not cover her eye or her face from the public. Always a fashionista, Shaheen wears what she likes. “Why should I hide my face when the criminal is roaming scot-free? I am not the guilty one here. He should hide his face out of shame, not me.”

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Months ago, when Kusum met a guy who was working as a housekeeper at her event; super fluent in English and quite knowledgeable — she was taken by surprise when he told her that he was working part-time to feed his family. That was another lesson to Kusum.

Another lesson, yes. Kusum believes that every event she organizes teaches her a new lesson and gives her a new experience. “I get to meet so many people from different walks of life — each of them trying their best to be happy and live a good life. I learnt not to judge anyone, for which one may not know what that person holds inside,” says the 28 YO Lucknow girl who fought her insecurities and broke some unsaid societal rules to follow her dreams.

Kusum C Bala, a self-made event & wedding planner, mental health coach and social media expert shared her version of ‘Passion To Profession’ with me today and made me realize again that nothing comes easy — and the things you fight for comes with an incomparable satisfaction and happiness.

Kusum, a computer engineer by education and a social media associate by profession, is also a passionate event manager. Hailing from the beautiful city of Uttar Pradesh, Lucknow, Kusum recalls herself as a bright and super creative kid — the one who loved to get involved in events or mass activities.

This became the very obvious reason for her to switch her career into the media industry. “It was tough initially,” Kusum shares. “I had zero idea about the industry with zero guidance, and I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy!”

Kusum is working hard to make her name a brand

Being a person who follows her heart, Kusum took no time in becoming what she is today. From enrolling herself into a course to building up contacts, doing freelance, small tasks, etc. she did all to learn about the industry and finally landed on to what she calls her biggest breakthrough, Bollywood Music Project 2017 (BMP). There has been no looking back since then.

“I’m a dark-skinned girl — my complexion, and low self-confidence always made me insecure in this glamour-entertainment industry, but I never stopped learning. My encounter with each individual and my observations made me a better human being — with positive energy and high self-esteem,” Kusum continues. Today, she counsels several people, especially girls, for body positivity and career guidance.

Back in the 90s, event management was not in trends — definitely not one of the conventional career choices which left Kusum unaware of her potential. Later, she did a course in Event Management & Activation and started taking up every possible relevant work to gain experience. She made sure that she did not leave a single opportunity, no matter how small the work was. Simultaneously, she continued her full-time job to stay connected with the online marketing industry.

Fast forward six years, today she is a well-known name in the event management industry, a proud member of one of the biggest social media agencies and a confident woman who outshone the dakiyanoosi remarks of society.

“There are many entrepreneurs in India in millions. And I feel blessed that I could meet so many explorers — people who are aspiring to make a mark in their domain and people who already are brands! Each of them has taught me something. And it just blows my mind to see that there is no ending to the creativeness and awesomeness of our brain. All you need is a little trigger,” Kusum further continues.

“I do not hold any regrets! And I wish to educate people more and spread awareness about this industry as much as possible. A lot of people get trapped due to under or overexposure/ exploitation. All I wish is to be a better human being who could be more compassionate and helpful for them,” Kusum hopes for a better world, a happy world, despite all the minor and major destruction she witnessed in her life.

As I already mentioned — nothing comes easy. Kusum urges people to join this industry only if they are capable of working hard, and that includes all sorts of tasks. “You might even need to pick up chairs on some good days,” she laughs. The core thing is that one must not hesitate from learning something new and communication skills have to be great. “You will meet a lot of people from different walks of lives, and it really matters how you talk to them. Be it a driver or a major Bollywood singer; everyone must be respected equally,” she concludes with a note that one has to be the creator of his/ her own life and that demands responsibilities and exploration.

While some try to build a brand in the form of a venture/ startup, Kusum is making her name a brand. From complexion equality to body positivity, she proved that talent and will power matters more than anything.

You can reach out to Kusum to know more about the event management, brand reputation, and the online marketing industry via her Instagram or Facebook account. Click here to read more stories from our #PassionToProfession series.