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2020 and Patriarchy Still Exists!!!

Written By: Infano
December 18, 2020
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In most recent times there have been positive shifts in attitudes, legally and socially, however patriarchy still lives on, in unequal wages between male and female colleagues, unequal access to opportunities, failure to talk about women’s achievements, unequal distribution of household tasks and defined gender roles.

Patriarchy – A system of society in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.

 Women are supposed to be pretty and attractive at all times. They are supposed to be sexy and not sexual. Men’s worth isn’t linked to how attractive or sexy they are. They can be successful and smart, attractive or not. But society associates a woman’s worth with her body.

Patriarchy is everyday sexism, misogyny. Patriarchy produces gender inequality but it’s consequences run deeper than it. 

With boys being taught that crying is synonymous to weakness, while girls learn that assertiveness equals aggressiveness, patriarchy still exists between us. Patriarchy exists at our place somewhere which is in its most hidden ways. HIDDEN? WHY ?

Because it is how our society is working. 

For example, if someday our fathers wash utensils, our mothers will stop them and say “App kyu kar rahe ho?” Why still household chores like washing, cooking, cleaning is something expected by only women. Why is this not gender neutralized?

We all live under patriarchy, which is a rigid dichotomy of gender roles. And we all know what the dichotomy is. Traditionally, men are supposed to be strong and feel independent, unemotional, logical and confident. Women are supposed to be expressive, nurturant, weak and dependent. One of the things I say about those traditional gender roles is they don’t make anybody happy .

We have to lead men and women out of patriarchy, because the old rules were not built for happiness. The old rules were built for stability, for production and consumption. 

Patriarchy does not exist only in men.

The force of patriarchy is the water that we all swim in and we’re the fish. Women can be just as patriarchal as men by holding those same types of values and biases. There’s a common statement heard which says, women have to adjust and compromise and have to let go of things to keep the family together. Girls are also told that whatever we become in life, only women can turn a house into a home. Men and women together make a family so why only women have to keep it together?

Women are more pressured to have kids – start a family, look after the biological clock, be a mother. Women simply suffer for being women. They have to struggle between family and career. Google, for example, is considered one of the best companies to work for because of the many employee perks like free meals, shuttle buses but no child care, no babysitters or creche area. No one thought about mothers. Well, dads are doing just fine because their wives at home are raising the kids but what about the female staff.

“Women will only have true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg

In companies women face issues of promotion and hiring. Do you know why? The management says that why would we hire/promote a woman that we know is going to have maternity leave or start a family soon. Why not just hire a man?

This issue is just because people assume that men have nothing to do with the process of a child coming into this world. The companies should understand that both parents should

have paternity / maternity leaves (paid) when they start a family. Because, hire a man or woman – if they start a family the consequences are the same.

This drives us to the notion that equality begins from at home with simple things. It’s not about bra-burning or shouting from the rooftop. It’s about the small things. Women should not have to think twice before stepping out of the house and in the same way men should be allowed to be as emotional as they want.

Equal rightsfeminismgender inequalitymisogynypatriarchysexismsocial evil

Infano

Infano is a platform that aims to impact every facet of a woman's life - health, career, motherhood, lifestyle, and much more. We are a team of like-minded individuals who wish to be a support to women from all walks of life and in everything they do. Our aim, through our posts and articles, is to bring to light the issues and problems that women face in their day-to-day life, to try and make their life a little easier and a little better, provide the latest news updates of women around the world, and to highlight their big and small achievements. We celebrate womanhood each and every day.

1 thought on “2020 and Patriarchy Still Exists!!!”

  1. Anjali dubey
    January 7, 2021 at 5:00 pm

    Very well written aayushi
    Make us proud like you always keep the good work going
    Many more blogs to come
    ❤❤❤❤❤🌸🌸

    Reply

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Neerja Bhanot — The Only Women To Get Awarded By India And Pakistan!

Written By: Sonali
September 5, 2020 | 02:19 PM |
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Have you watched the movie Neerja starring Sonam Kapoor? The more I reach the climax, the more my heart pounds — it aches — knowing that she’d die! That it’s not just a movie but the life story of a braveheart who didn’t think of herself, her life for even a second — story of India’s youngest and first female recipient of Ashok Chakra who sacrificed her life for more than 300 people.

Neerja Bhanot was only 22 when she died — just 25 hours before her 23rd birthday. The night of Sept 5, 1986, was the last night of her life. Though that night and that incident still haunt a lot of people, Neerja’s bravery and legacy can never be forgotten.

She was cremated a day before her birthday, i.e., on Sept 6, 1986.

It gives me goosebumps while writing this, an unexplainable pain of loss and grievance — this piece is dedicated to that young life who still inspired and is still inspiring thousands!!

Neerja was born to Harish Bhanot and Rama Bhanot on Sept 7, 1963, in Chandigarh. She worked as a model for brands like Benzer sarees, Binaca toothpaste, Godrej Besto detergent, Vaporex, Vico Turmeric cream, etc. before her stint with Pan Am.

Bhanot was very close to her family — the ‘laado’ of her home and her father’s agyakaari beti. She agreed to marry a Dubai-based marine engineer at the age of 21 because her father wanted to, and she did not see any reason to deny her father.

She moved to Sharjah, UAE after marriage only to face mental and verbal abuse, starvation, threat and verbal taunts. “If you can’t cook, stop eating” is what her husband told her. She lost five kilos in two months and was really shattered. She came back to Mumbai, leaving her husband and marriage behind and decided to join the airline services.

She was selected in the top 80 out of 10,000 applicants for the job of a flight attendant with Pam Am. She was appointed the senior flight purser on Pan Am Flight 73 flying from Mumbai to the United States via Karachi on that fateful September day.

The flight was hijacked by terrorists who belonged to the Abu Nidal Organisation, backed by Libya. Neerja was at her best during the entire incident and tried to calm all the passengers and her colleagues. She alerted the pilots who then were able to escape out of the cockpit and save their lives. It was her smartness that ensured that the flight couldn’t take off.

The hijackers asked her to collect the passports of all the passengers so that they could identify the Americans. Smartly, she hid the passports of the Americans and saved their lives. She was shot by bullets while saving three children from the terrorists. One of them, then a 7-year-old, is now himself an airline pilot. He considers Neerja to be his role model. 

Neerja proved that no job is big or small and all you need is the dedication to your work. Her calm courage and quick instincts saved several lives. She was awarded Ashoka Chakra. Her citation states: “Her loyalties to the passengers of the aircraft in distress will forever be a lasting tribute to the finest qualities of the human spirit.”

She is also the first civilian who was awarded Ashok Chakra. She also received “Tamgha-e-Insaaniyat,” the civilian award for bravery from Pakistan. She is the only woman on the face of the earth to receive a peace award from both India and Pakistan. She also received the Justice for Crimes Award 2005 and Special Courage Award 2006 from the USA Government. The Indian Postal Service released a stamp in her memory in 2004.

For her fearless act, Bhanot was recognised as ‘The Heroine of the Hijack’ internationally.

She chose others over her life — she died for others. 

She was cremated with the chanting of ‘Goodbye darling, please keep coming’, her favourite mantra.

The airline hero of the country, Neerja, was a star. Her story, her life continues to inspire young women. Her family used the funds from Pan Am to set up the Neerja Bhanot Pan Am Trust to commemorate her courage.

She wrote “I will make you proud” in a letter to her father a year before the incident. And yes, she did!

Cheers to you Neerja! Thank you for being an inspiration to our generations. You will always be loved, and your legacy will never be forgotten!

Featured Image: Various Sources

historyinspirationneerjawomenwomen in indiawomen power

Sonali

A 'non-9-5 desk job' ambivert geek who chooses her own audience, Sonali loves sharing stories and finding the corners where humanity still exists! She believes that every individual's story is unique and special. She loves writing about the untouched and unspoken segments of society. When not writing, you can find her listening to someone's stories or playing with dogs. Sonali values mental health and encourages people to speak their heart out!

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