In most recent times there have been positive shifts in attitudes, legally and socially, however patriarchy still lives on, in unequal wages between male and female colleagues, unequal access to opportunities, failure to talk about women’s achievements, unequal distribution of household tasks and defined gender roles.
Patriarchy – A system of society in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.
Women are supposed to be pretty and attractive at all times. They are supposed to be sexy and not sexual. Men’s worth isn’t linked to how attractive or sexy they are. They can be successful and smart, attractive or not. But society associates a woman’s worth with her body.
Patriarchy is everyday sexism, misogyny. Patriarchy produces gender inequality but it’s consequences run deeper than it.
With boys being taught that crying is synonymous to weakness, while girls learn that assertiveness equals aggressiveness, patriarchy still exists between us. Patriarchy exists at our place somewhere which is in its most hidden ways. HIDDEN? WHY ?
Because it is how our society is working.
For example, if someday our fathers wash utensils, our mothers will stop them and say “App kyu kar rahe ho?” Why still household chores like washing, cooking, cleaning is something expected by only women. Why is this not gender neutralized?
We all live under patriarchy, which is a rigid dichotomy of gender roles. And we all know what the dichotomy is. Traditionally, men are supposed to be strong and feel independent, unemotional, logical and confident. Women are supposed to be expressive, nurturant, weak and dependent. One of the things I say about those traditional gender roles is they don’t make anybody happy .
We have to lead men and women out of patriarchy, because the old rules were not built for happiness. The old rules were built for stability, for production and consumption.
Patriarchy does not exist only in men.
The force of patriarchy is the water that we all swim in and we’re the fish. Women can be just as patriarchal as men by holding those same types of values and biases. There’s a common statement heard which says, women have to adjust and compromise and have to let go of things to keep the family together. Girls are also told that whatever we become in life, only women can turn a house into a home. Men and women together make a family so why only women have to keep it together?
Women are more pressured to have kids – start a family, look after the biological clock, be a mother. Women simply suffer for being women. They have to struggle between family and career. Google, for example, is considered one of the best companies to work for because of the many employee perks like free meals, shuttle buses but no child care, no babysitters or creche area. No one thought about mothers. Well, dads are doing just fine because their wives at home are raising the kids but what about the female staff.
“Women will only have true equality when men share with them the responsibility of bringing up the next generation” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
In companies women face issues of promotion and hiring. Do you know why? The management says that why would we hire/promote a woman that we know is going to have maternity leave or start a family soon. Why not just hire a man?
This issue is just because people assume that men have nothing to do with the process of a child coming into this world. The companies should understand that both parents should
have paternity / maternity leaves (paid) when they start a family. Because, hire a man or woman – if they start a family the consequences are the same.
This drives us to the notion that equality begins from at home with simple things. It’s not about bra-burning or shouting from the rooftop. It’s about the small things. Women should not have to think twice before stepping out of the house and in the same way men should be allowed to be as emotional as they want.